Giftedly Outspoken

Another Giveaway -- This time for Target

2012-01-23T09:21:00.000-06:00

$15 Target Gift Card & Fitness Book:

Book Bonanza

Review & Giveaway EVENT!

Sponsored by MamaLuvsBooks

(Picture from Amazon.com)

Book Review By MamaLuvsBooks:

Weight issues have always been a problem in my family. We try and stay healthy and we've even had our own "Biggest Loser" family contests. For some reason though we always yo-yo back-and-forth with our weights. In the past I lost weight with Weight Watchers and was even a leader for a few years, but after having two kids I need to lose a few and get more fit. What I liked about reading "Fit Moms for Life" is that it is a "life goal." It's not just about losing a few pounds now, but more about caring about yourself as an individual and caring about your long-term health.

Author Dustin Maher breaks down weight-loss into "5 Pillars of Fitness!" The book is centered around these ideas and he helps explain them to you and have you put them into practice in your everyday life. The pillars are: Mindset, Nutrition, Strength Training, Burst Training, and Environment. I was glad to learn that I didn't need to be running all the time and training for a marathon to lose weight!

My favorite things about this book are that it is easy to read, Maher seems to be speaking to YOU the reader, it gives advice that is doable, and the book has MANY stories and pictures from moms that HAVE already done it and continue to live a healthy lifestyle. Also, there are sections at the end to write up your progress!

I would recommend this book for any mom trying to lose weight and trying to be healthy. A healthier mom leads to a healthier family! You can see more about the program and the book at FitMomsForLife.com.

(Pic from FitMomsForLife)

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT THE BOOK:

1. Although it is titled "For Moms" it can really be for ANYONE!
2. Has relevant real-life stories throughout the book you can relate to.
3. Gives useful and practical information for busy Moms!
4. Breaks down the steps into "Five Pillars of Fitness!"
5. Helps to set your goals for "Life" - not just for "Let me lose 20 pounds right now!"
6. LOVE the eating habits tips and the "Dirty Dozen" and "The Clean 15" to help you when shopping for organic foods.

7. LOVE the recipes included and meal plans (and healthy snacks section).

8. The exercises are explained well and have pictures to go with them.

9. A section in the back for "New Moms" and "Moms-to-Be!"

10. Lastly, I like the section in the back to record your goals, data, and progress!

(Pic from FitMomsForLife.com)

Here's how to get a copy:

WIN this awesome book in my Book Bonanza giveaway! The author, Dustin Maher, will send you a signed copy of this book. The more you do on the Rafflecopter the more chances you will have to win! Good Luck!!! Don't forget you can also purchase this wonderful book at Amazon.com.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

It's a Brand New Year

2012-01-16T22:29:00.001-06:00

Happy New Year

Ever wonder how long you have to say Happy New Year to people that you haven't seen in since it changed years? Do you do it until you see everyone? Do you only do it for the first week? The first month? Being Greek we have a 40 day grace period for just about everything so I figure that I can extend it for this occasion too.

I don't know if I've ever told you guys this but I don't do resolutions. I think they are weird. I see so many people make these promises to themselves and then just get angry when they end up not doing whatever they planned on doing. Going to the gym. Going to eat right. Going to do....

I choose not to put myself though that every year. I don't resolve. I don't promise. I tell myself that I'm just going to make myself happy. Sounds kind of selfish doesn't it? Well, selfish or not that is all I want out of life; to be happy. To be happy with my marriage, my family, my job. Who doesn't want that!?

I was actually very proud of myself on my first day back at work after my vacation. I was sitting at my desk doing my work, being productive. My boss walks in and we talk a little bit. As he is on his way out he mentions that one of the people I work with is still out of the office on business and if I could cover a portion of his job. Could I look at the orders and ship them out?

My reply was, "No, no I can't. I have more than enough work here that I need to catch up on that is MY work and when I go out of town who covers my stuff? No one." I actually felt pride. Was it being mean? No, not at all. I was just finally drawing the line in the sand. The boundaries that shouldn't be crossed. I do not need to always please people. I do not always need to go above and beyond the call of duty. I just need to do my job and no one else's. No one does my work. Hell, when I am out of the office no one even answers the phone....why do I always go beyond to make sure the entire office runs smoothly by doing my job plus the job of others.

I didn't say it with snark. I didn't say it with a scowl on my face. And I didn't say it timidly. I said it firmly and matter of factly. Towards the end of last year I was getting very upset with my job. I was finding that I was dreading going in and that the sound of my boss' voice would get on my nerves. Someone would want to speak to me and I'd feel my skin crawl because I knew it would mean more work on my already overflowing plate. I told myself that I had to get rid of that feeling. I had to shake it.

I took my vacation to Texas where I was rarely in contact with the office. I did occasionally look at my emails and answer the ones that were easy but that was it. I have a bad habit of not being able to stay away from email. Those 2 weeks out of the office helped me regain my focus and when I started work again I didn't detest being there. It was a fresh start. Today I had a nice productive day and I plan on keeping up the good work :) I plan on being able to focus on what I need to do vs what everyone thinks I should be doing to help them out.

Anyway...enough about that. How have the first few weeks of the new year treated you?

Wishing you all health and happiness in 2012! And to all my new followers.....WELCOME and THANKS for following!!

Happy Holidays & Giveaway Reminder

2011-12-18T14:08:00.000-06:00

I just realized on my last post I wrote "Christmas spending money". I might have offended some of you with that because let's be honest, not everyone celebrates Christmas but if someone wants to get their panties in bunch because I wished them a HAPPY or MERRY anything they can suck it. It's not meant to be an insult or a lack of respect for others cultures, its just my way of wishing you a happy holiday season no matter what you celebrate. I hate how Merry Christmas is seen as offensive and I seriously have the term "Happy Holidays".

With that being said I realize its been a while since I last blogged. I had so much going on with my little one getting sick and me getting sick and trying to make sure I take care of all my work projects before I leave for my vacation...I've been stressed to the max!!

Anyway, for the first time in 13 years I'm spending CHRISTMAS with my PARENTS! I moved when I was 18 and although my parents come to Montreal every winter they never make it on Christmas day. They always come up on Boxing Day. Their job requires them to work on Christmas Eve and they drive up so it takes a day and a half....so I decided to put a stop to it this year. I told my husband that we were packing up and flying to Texas FOR Christmas. So we are. :) My parents are so excited to have Christmas at their house after so many years, and more than that, excited that Demi will be there for Christmas. They have this huge meal planned and my dad bought Demi a Christmas tree that is probably taller than our house!! (FYI its been so long since we've had Christmas at my parents that they threw out all their lights and ornaments and had to start buying new ones from scratch!)

My moms best friend is coming to the house, my cousin Helen is coming over...its going to be fun. :) A few days later my sister is flying in and then we all leave together on Jan 5th but its going to be great to spend Christmas AND New Years with my parents.

This is the first year I've asked for NOTHING at all, I didn't want anything, I just wanted to be with my family. Afterall, isn't that the true spirit of Christmas? Spending the day with those you love the most? I'm going to celebrate my favorite holiday with my darling daughter, my wonderful husband, and my amazing parents...the only one left out of the equation is my sister (and therefore brother in law). This will be the first time in 13 years we DON'T celebrate Christmas together but we have so many more years ahead of us. I can't wait until her little boy is born and D is a little older so we can make Christmas so magical for them. The baking, the decorating, the stories, the good deeds....just ohhh boy Christmas is my favorite holiday!

Sadly though, George's father will not be going to Florida with my brother in law as originally planned. He doesn't want to pay the crazy fee for medical insurance on him IN CASE something happens. He has to pay $1,048.57 just to be covered. If he doesn't get sick then you don't get anything back. He says its not worth it so he's spending Christmas and New Years alone which I find really sad. Especially after my whole paragraph above about how the holidays should be about being together. The guy is 84 years old and is spending the holiday alone. I even thought about offering to fly him to Texas with us but the point still remains that he'd need to buy medical insurance. I'm honestly surprised that my husband hasn't yet backed out of going to Texas yet...which he can't. He knows how much this means to me, he also needs a break, AND part of our vacation will be doing some research for a venture we are starting in Montreal.

So why don't I end this blog post on that sad thought of an old lonely man spending Christmas all by himself? Nah. I wouldn't do that to you.

I just want to remind you that there is still time to enter in the giveaway that is in my last post! QUICK! Enter to win $110!!!!!!

Want to win some MONEY for Christmas Spending!?!

2011-12-08T11:46:00.003-06:00

Let's be honest everyone. Times are tough and we have this "buy buy buy" mentality when it comes to Christmas. Don't stress yourself, instead why don't you join the BLOGGERS with BENEFITS CA$H CARNIVAL! It's easy, all you have to do is follow the simple steps in the rafflecopter form below and you are entered to win $110 from one group....and $120 from the second!

You can join the second giveaway by visiting Christa's blog!

You can do some last minute Christmas shopping, or maybe keep the money and pay off the credit card bills when they come rolling around. Either way, I'm sure you call can find a use for $320.

Good luck! :)

And the winner is....

2011-11-15T10:32:00.000-06:00

Jessica!!!!!

This blog post is NOT about Joe Paterno OR The Kardashians!

2011-11-10T20:24:00.002-06:00

How is that for a blog title? My blog post isn't about them but it is sort of inspired but ONE of these two. Who do you think it is? I'll let you be the judge and you can totally guess within the first few sentences I'm sure.

So its pretty rare that when we decide to take a trip down the aisle that we really don't mean "forever". How many of you have walked down the aisle and thought, "Yeah this should do for a few years?" Most of us go into it with good intentions right?

Well ladies, I have something to say to y'all about getting a divorce for whatever reason. GIVE THE GUY BACK HIS LAST NAME! Seriously, you are DIVORCING him, you are moving on with your life why do you want to hang on to his last name? Don't give me that bullshit about wanting the same last name as your children...Newsflash, here in Quebec when we get married we don't take our husbands last name, our children do...the kids aren't confused. They know who their mom is and as they grow up they realize why. It's the law here...I'm sure explaining to your kid that you and their daddy don't live together anymore and got a divorce...it won't confuse them. What about the women who aren't married and have children? The last name argument is bullshit.

I have a friend who is divorced. His ex-wife is a major major bitch. Let me sum up the ways that she is a bitch. She cheated on him, got pregnant by someone else while they were married...oh and he was off fighting in the war protecting her rights, oh and then she also started hanging out with all of his friends while they were separated and divorced. Yeah pretty much a major bitch.

They got a divorce and she still uses his last name. It's HER last name now. I get so annoyed with it. She has friend requested me on Facebook no less than 10 times a year and the minute I look at her last name I get all disgusted and want to punch her. Once when we were at the same place at the same time she asked me, "Jenny why don't you accept my friends request or hang out with the group when I'm around." My reply was simple, "I don't like you and think you are a bitch."

They had a fairly peaceful divorce, there was no fighting. It was simply "You are a whore let's get a divorce" and they did it. They signed their agreements regarding custody of the children that were his. But they went their separate ways. Why did she keep his name? There is no real reason other than.... Hell...I don't even know.

So that brings me to my next point. GIVE BACK THE FREAKING RING! What are you going to do it? Wear it like a trophy? Keep it in your jewelry box as a memory of something that ended? Pawn it for some extra cash? I dunno, maybe its the proud woman in me but I don't want it. I don't want the memory of you, I don't want the "trophy" of telling people I failed at marriage, and I certainly don't want something he gave me to get me some extra cash. Basically, I don't need you and I don't need anything FROM you to help me out. I'd rather give back the ring and cut it clean.

I know a few people that have been divorced that actually kept their rings from their ex, gave their new boyfriend the diamond to reset so they could propose. Too me that is cheap and tacky. Sorry. It's not about the size of the diamond but if your hubby to be can't spring for a new diamond for you then thats just wrong. If he can't afford a diamond why not propose with your favorite stone? your birth stone? just a gold band?! I dunno, but I certainly don't want to GIVE my boyfriend a diamond that my EX HUSBAND gave to me so he can propose to me. I feel as if that sort of cheapens me.

So here is my message to Kim Kardashian: GIVE HUMPHRIES BACK HIS RING!!

He did what!?!

2011-11-08T20:38:00.000-06:00

So unless you've been living under a rock you've probably heard the accusation that Justin Bieber is gonna be a daddy and the momma ain't Selena Gomez. It doesn't really bother me if he is a daddy or not a daddy what makes me laugh is how the entire nation is talking about it....AND they are like "It's IMPOSSIBLE" "He's suing her" etc.

I'm gonna laugh my ass when it turns out that he is that baby\s daddy. I get it, he's young, he's rich and famous. Stranger things have happened right!?

Bloggers with Benefits Cash Carnival!

2011-11-05T13:04:00.002-05:00

So the holidays are quickly approaching and you know what would be great? A little extra money, know what is even better? A LOT of extra money!

We'll I've joined forces with a lot of women bloggers to do something that hasn't ever really been done before. A CA$H Carnival where you can enter your chance to win a $50 gift card, MULTIPLE times! There are 100 spots open so our CA$H Carnival will consist of TWENTY $50 gift cards! Who couldn't use that kind of money, especially at this time of year?

How does it work?

The Cash Carnival will consist of up to 20- $50 dollar giveaways. It will run between December 8th-12th and people will be able to go from one giveaway to another giveaway simply by completing the mandatory entries and entering to win $50 each time. It’s going to be a great way for bloggers who are participating to grow their followers and a great way for readers who enter to win $$$$$$

How does it work?

Simply sign up by filling out this form (or click on the link in my side bar!) and one of the wonderful hostesses( Little BGCG, Me As A Mommy, Mama B, and Baby Dickey) of this CA$H Carnival will get back to you! It only costs $15 to get involved and the benefits are endless. You can get Google Friend Connect Followers, Facebook Fans, Twitter Followers or whatever you need. No one loses, especially if you are trying to grow your blog following or presence on the internet!

So what are you waiting for? GO! ENTER! WIN! But most of all, HAVE FUN!!

Product Review & Giveaway: PartyLite

2011-10-28T11:35:00.002-05:00

I can't even begin to tell you all how happy I am to finally be able to reveal what my giveaway and review are! Gina from PartyLite was kind enough to provide me with some fabulous PartyLite Products so that I could try out and review and she is even giving one of my amazing readers a $50 gift card to use on PartyLite Products! How great is that!?

Before I tell you how you can enter the giveaway let me tell you a little big about the the company and the products I got a chance to try out. I don't know if you guys know this but I am a HUGE PartyLite fan and have been for a very long time. Before I had Baby D her room was my "storage room" and I had a bookshelf full of boxes and boxes of candles! My favorite scent ever is Coconut Cove and I would burn it in votives, tea lights, jars, basically any form it came in. Obviously I would burn other scents too but that was my "comfort scent". I was never a huge fan of the pillars because I thought they would burn like all the other pillars you buy, you know, leaking down one side, burning unevenly, and the the biggest offense, somehow getting a hole in the side of the candle causing a huge mess on whatever you were burning the pillar in? Well, I finally bit the bullet about a year and a half ago. I decided to host a party and it was super successful. I had about $500 if not more worth of free product and at that point I said, "Let's do it! Let's try something outside of my comfort zone". So I used my free credits and purchased reed diffusers, pillar candles, aroma melters, aroma simmers, along with my normal jars, tealights, and votives.basically if it was from PartyLite and had a scent, I purchased it.

I was NOT let down. Ladies, how many of your husbands enjoy burning candles? I'm not gonna lie, there are mornings I wake up and my husband has lit the pillars on the kitchen table because "they smell nice" or "it looked nice", and he lights some tea lights at night in the cute holders I have around the house. Do you know why? Because they smell AMAZING and they are NOT overpowering.

So when Gina and I spoke about the opportunity to do a blog giveaway and she told me she would give me some free product to review I was excited. I was excited to get some products that I was familiar with but she threw me for a loop! She gave me products that had come out just recently, you know, products I didn't even know existed because I had $500 worth of candles in my house (FYI, I still haven't depleted that stash...)

So what did I get?!

How about an Iced Snowberries GloLite Pillar Candle. This thing is truly amazing. The PartyLite technology left me floored. When you light this candle and it has burned down a little bit (I'm talking 1/4" people) the entire pillar glows. Let me say that again, the ENTIRE PILLAR GLOWS. It is lit up from the top to the bottom in a beautiful soft glow. The first time I lit the candle is wasn't dramatic or anything, it wasn't an instant glow....now the second time I lit the candle I made sure the entire room was dark and when I lit it...there was a nice soft glow from all around the candle. It was awesome. Now, I'm not going to lie to you, the scent wasn't that noticable. I think if you are burning a GloLite you are doing it more for the look than the scent. (I made sure the house smelled great by burning an iced snowberry votive near by). This candle is perfect for those of you planning a nice sit down dinner. A nice pillar garden with the candle in three sizes makes a great centerpiece.

What else did I get?

This is Nature's Light by Party Lite in White Oak & Sandalwood. (I do believe that this is my new go to scent). What makes this candle so special? Well, first of all it doesn't have a traditional wick, it has a wooden wick that actually crackles as it burns. It's basically a scented fireplace in a jar. How cool is that? Not only that but the jar it comes in is unique and has a great texture. It looks and feels like wood grain to really give you the feeling of lighting up a log. I liked sitting on my couch, reading a book, and enjoying a glass of wine while this was on table nearby. The crackling sound is just too comforting to pass up...and a few times I caught myself just staring at the wick and ignoring my book (but not my wine!). I hosted another party a few weeks ago and I made sure that this was on my list of things to get with my free product (by the way, again, close to $500 worth of free product)!

What else what else what else?!

I got to try out a scent from their new Forbidden Fruits collection. I got to burn "Fig Fatale" which was a HUGE hit at my show. These products don't even come in the standard blue PartyLite boxes, oh no, they come in black boxes with a beautiful and seductive font. If you want to seduce your hubby then I strongly recommend you pick up a catalog or log online and start looking into the Forbidden Fruits selection. Again, I won't lie, I found the Fig Fatale a little strong for my liking but I wanted to bite into the Perfectly Pear and Apple Allure. (Besides those two scents just fit me perfectly, I'm an elegant and classy girl next door..ha ha ha!) My sister in law, sister, best friend, and party guests ALL purchased the fig scent so maybe its just me who is extra picky? I already decided that I will be speaking to my brother in laws and helping them make a little seductive Valentine's basket for their wives using these candles which come in jars, votives, and large tea lights (and scents are also available in oil).

**Although I received these products free of charge it has not influenced my opinion in anyway. These thoughts, views, opinions, and random babbling are mine and mine alone. ***

So now to the fun stuff! How can you win!? It's super easy! You first have to follow me on Google Friend Connect, this is mandatory, if you don't follow none of the other entries will count. Leave each entry as a separate comment and I will use a random number generator to select a winner!

1. Go to Gina's Site and come back here and tell me what you would purchase with your $50 gift card.

2. Like Giftedly-Outspoken on Facebook

3. Follow me on Twitter

Giveaway ends on Tuesday, Nov, 15th!

That is all folks!! :)

Good luck and be sure to spread the word!

I hosted a party...and became a consultant!

2011-10-19T20:30:00.000-05:00

So as some of you may have read on Twitter and my blog I hosted a PartyLite party last week and did pretty well (over $1500 in sales). This is the second party that I did for PartyLite and its the second very successful party that I've done. Both times the lady who did the show mentioned how I'd make an amazing consultant since I obviously know my PartyLite stuff. I just flat out said no both times.

This time my husband made me think about it, "Jenny, its something you believe in and you love. I think you'd be great at it..." again I thought about it. Then yesterday my co-worker called and we had a discussion on the phone and she says to me, "You know what, not only are you never wrong (hey I tried to convince here I've been wrong on a few occasions) but you make sure that people know why you aren't wrong. You always have the data to back it up. You would make a great sales person, let's see if we can get you out to California for a week to help me out!"

That was sort of the icing on the cake, or the nail that sealed the coffin or whatever lame ass expression you need to help you understand what I'm talking about. Last night I attended the Party Lite regional meeting and I met with a lot of women who were successful in what they were doing and who loved it. I decided at that point to just become a consultant. Because we'd already closed my show (most likely I'll have the orders from my show on Friday!) I couldn't get that "free kit". I had to buy my kit but the great thing is that I already bought so many things from the new collection I have a BETTER kit than the one you can purchase! (I got 6 items at half price from my sales PLUS 1 item at 50% off for hosting the show PLUS one item at 60% off for hosting the show...needless to say, I bought almost the entire catalog!)

So that just about sums it up. If you are in the Montreal area and are interested in hosting a show or doing a book show, please let me know. I have a few suggestions on how to have a super successful show and getting you TONS of free product without having to spend a penny of your own money! :)

By the way, the give away post will be coming probably on Monday!!

Remember when I told you I'd be doing a giveaway!?

2011-10-14T08:44:00.000-05:00

Well the time is almost here! My first SPONSORED giveaway! :) I can now tell you WHO it is but I won't tell you about the prize yet....

Gina from PartyLite has agreed to give me some amazing products for me to review and is offering one lucky reader something! ;) So stay tuned! (Click the link above and have a look around and tell me if there is anything there you are interested in!)

FYI: The post should be going up next week as I have already received my free products to review and am in the process of using/reviewing/writing!

Totally Random Thoughts

2011-10-09T21:39:00.001-05:00

I have a bunch of random thoughts flying through my head so I figured that maybe my blog was the best place to get them out.

So let's start shall we? Oh, you'll have to forgive me if this list is messed up or makes no sense. I am watching the finale of The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

1. I'm really excited for BlogHer12. Dana and I are going to be rooming together and we were just texting trying to figure out what to do in the down time (if there is any) and who is on our list of "must meets". (Maybe one day we'll share that list but for now its just a surprise!) We need to figure out who to see, what sessions to be at, and hope we get invited to some parties. If we don't make the party list we won't be too sad. I mean, HELLO, we are in New York!

2. Last night I was playing Words With Friends and the person I was playing against told me that she actually follows me on Twitter and reads my blog. That in itself is not unusual, what is unusual is that they are NOT the type of person that I thought reads my blog. My blog doesn't usually appeal to the uber (do people still use that word?) conservative people, unless of course they read it to make fun of me or teach their children what NOT to become. I was really shocked. I told her that and she told me that while she was very conservative she liked the way I said what I felt. It actually made me happy to know that my blog can appeal to a variety of people...and I think that is kind of the point of blogs. Right?

3. Speaking of my blog I find it hilarious that the number one search term that lands people here from google is the phrase "letter to my exboyfriend". This is funny to me because that blog post (part of the letter challenge) doesn't actually have a lot of comments. It's one of the most read posts but least commented on. I wonder if people don't think its okay to talk about their exes on their blogs once they are in a new relationship or married. I don't believe that to be the case at all. My past relationships have shaped the person I am today, they helped me learn something about myself in relationships and I feel no need to hide that.

4. And since we are on the subject of ex boyfriends...My sister and I are doing two "parties". I am hosting a PartyLite party at my house and she will be doing a gold party. Basically you sell any old gold jewelry you have that you don't wear or you know, that earring that is missing its partner or that necklace your ex gave you? It's great. Sell your gold and use the cash to buy candles. Part 3 of that is "go to the casino". Anyway, I digress, so my ex boyfriend gave me a necklace and pendant. It had the island he was from as well as his initials on the back. His grandmother had given it to him. After we broke up I tried like 4 times to give it back to him and it never worked out for us. So now I am selling it. Well, I will give him until Sunday Oct 16th at 1:59pm to pick it up. If he doesn't get it by then I'll be selling it. Sorry buddy.

5. You know what has always confused me? When pro-breastfeeding parents keep on talking about the bonding benefit of breastfeeding. A blog post by Fearless Formula Feeder made me remember how much that expression irked me. I mean, what about the father? Does the father not get to bond with his kid? Does bonding not count unless a part of you is in a part of them? Or do father's only get to bond with their children after the age of 2 (or however long you decide to breastfeed?) Now, I'm not one to say anything bad about breastfeeding, I believe to each their own just feed your kid...but its really not fair to say that breastfeeding leaves you bonded better. My child was never breastfeed and I still understand her own special language and what each cry means (98% of the time). What makes people think that you understand your kid more if you breastfed? I dunno man, that just makes no sense to me!

So those are my random thoughts of the week...what are yours?

I'm Stressed!!!!

2011-10-04T11:22:00.000-05:00

I am stressed and I hate it. I hate it with a passion. Being stressed leaves me cranky, forgetful and sometimes can wreck havoc on my face. Luckily for me the latter has not happened...yet. I'm still the cute fresh faced me.

Why so much stress? It's WORK! I am stressed at work, I forget things that are work related that are fairly (read VERY) important. It's not like me. One of the main reasons I was hired was because of my exceptional memory and attention to detail. Lately I find myself just forgetting to do things, things that should be on the forefront of my mind.

Just the other day I sent a shipment of something meant for California to New Jersey. Oops. It took me over 3 months to complete a file (a huge tedious mundane excel file with like 200 columns to fill in). I had a pile of papers waiting for my signature sitting on my desk for 2 weeks. I haven't submitted expense reports since APRIL....it's not that I don't care to do what I have to do its just that I have so much work to do that some things slip through the cracks. Of course the tiny tasks don't slip through the cracks, its the large tasks that do.

I'm beginning to feel jaded at work. I feel like I am doing the work of 3 full time employees when I am just one person. Our company seemed to just grow overnight and the work load became too heavy. Anyone who works closely with our office and saw what the girl before me did compared to what I do is completely blown away. I am (was) organized and efficient. What the frak happened? I don't want to use the excuse "baby brain" because D is now 18 months old. I should be back in the swing of things.

So my boss dragged me into his office today to inform me that he has been getting upset at my forgetfulness etc. Funny, I wanted to drag him into his office to tell him not only to I want or deserve a raise but I DEMAND one.....I somehow don't feel the timing is right now that I am being "scolded". I'm gonna be honest, I hate to hear that people are disappointed me in or that they feel I am not performing to my abilities. I hate it. I am a perfectionist...but this time I almost find myself not caring. I almost feel like saying "Hey, before you tell me that I'm forgetful etc why don't you sit at my desk for 3 hours and tell me how many things YOU can accomplish!"

So now to ask you some questions.

1. How do you keep yourself organized when you feel the world is about to swallow you whole?
2. How would you go about asking for a raise?

Travelling with Children

2011-10-02T09:39:00.001-05:00

It's not easy to travel with children, especially if you are ALONE. You have to handle your child, your luggage, carry on bags, diaper bags etc. It's freaking stressful. When D was three months old we took our first flight from Montreal to Dallas. I was able to handle it pretty well, especially because my daddy flew to Montreal just to fly back to Dallas with me :) He toted D around in her bucket seat, I took care of checking us in and everyone at the airport was especially helpful when they saw D and passed us through customs quickly, let us board first etc. It was great.

Then D and I flew from Dallas to Fort Lauderdale. We did that trip on our own. The airport staff was great. Since I was travelling alone they helped me get thru security "Can I get that for you?" "Do you need help" were things I heard often. They were great. At one point I was struggling to carry D in her bucket seat and the diaper bag down the walk way from the boarding gate to the plane. A very nice business man asked me if he could carry something for me in order to help me out. He carried D in the bucket seat right to our assigned seats and even strapped her into the seat. He told me, "My wife used to travel with the kids alone and I know its hard. I hate to see a mother struggle." I thought that was sweet. He also helped me off the plane with baby D and made sure I had my stroller before he took off. I pushed the stroller a few feet before my husband magically appeared.

I have yet to make the jump to "international" travel (for some reason US/Canada isn't considered international). But if I were to travel outside of this continent I would make sure of a few things. One of those things would be the car seat laws. I know that that US isn't the most strict with their laws but its also not the most lenient. What are the laws where we are traveling? Are they completely absurb?

Example: I had a friend travel to Greece this summer. She informed me upon her return that the entire time she was in Greece her one year old (14.5 month) daughter was not in a car seat. That Greece's car seat laws are if the kid can walk they could be restrained by a normal seat belt. Uh? What?

So I did what any normal person would do. I googled the shit out of that. Google informed me that while Greece is great in welcoming kids they are horrible at protecting them and probably have some of the most lax car seat laws BUT they still exist. The law states that unless a child is 3 years old and 135cm that they can not ride in a car without proper restraints UNLESS in a bus or taxi. 3 years old?! Isn't that a little...ummm...not right? Man, here in Canada I have cousins that have kids that are 7 in still in booster seats due to their small size etc. 3. That is it in Greece. Three years old and you can be restrained by a seat belt that is made for adults. Sure, who cars if you get decapitated or squished by air bags....

I kinda of let it go. I pretended not to care but I can't do that. I do care. I care about my child enough to say "screw you Greece laws". Greece may say that by law a 3 year old can be strapped into a normal car seat but I'd rather follow the laws of where I'm from. You know, laws from somewhere more concerned with safety. Greece may be the birth place of democracy, philosophy, politics, math, science but they also get the crown for being the birth place of crazy driving, unmarked roads, horrible car accidents due to bad driving and unmarked roads. Basically, its not a place I want my child to be sitting in a car completely unprotected.

I totally get that its hard to change the minds of older people from generations about certain things. My mom never had to be in a car seat when she was growing up in Greece and when she brought me home from the hospital in Montreal she was holding me in her arms, in the front seat of the car, smoking a cigarette. Uh, guess what. Times have totally changed. We don't get in cars with our children unrestrained, we don't smoke in our cars with our children, we dont sleep with our front doors unlocked either. Times have changed people.

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm just smarter than that. I mean, as parents we don't really need laws to tell us what is acceptable and not right? Like, is there a law that says "Don't let your child drink bleach" I don't think there is (I could be wrong) but even without a law I know its wrong/not good. I don't need a law that says "Hanging a child upside from a ceiling fan is strictly forbidden." I kinda know that its not something you do.

So have you traveled with your child recently? Had you come across some laws or situations that you found completely insane?

(btw for all you rear facing fanatics, in Sweden there is a car seat that allows you to rear face until 55lbs!)

Farrah did what?!

2011-09-26T12:23:00.000-05:00

So I'm obviously a bit behind on watching Teen Mom. I don't think I've seen an episode since Amber and Gary started fighting...oh what, that happens every episode? Well in that case, I'm lost, but trust me when I say I haven't watched in a long time, probably after episode 3. CW and Bravo have much better fall line up than MTV ever will.

Anyway, so its been brought to my attention that Farrah decided to leave her daughter behind with her parents (who she doesn't really like anyway right?) in order for her to go to school and get her degree in Florida. Now, forgive me if I'm wrong but Iowa does have schools right? I mean, there are educated people from Iowa. I KNOW this for a fact because I tweet with some, text message with others, and read their blogs too. Iowa is a real place with real schools.

So what would cause a mother to leave her child behind in another state so she can go off and get her degree? I'll tell you what it was. Farrah is looking to regain her social life. Poor Sophia is taking a back seat to her mother's delusional dreams that maybe one day someone will want her. Think I'm lying? Why did Farrah get a boob job? Oh. yes, to get more jobs as a model to make more money to support Sophia. Those tears she cried while at that modeling job were 100% crocodile tears meant to move the hearts of the MTV viewers. Guess what Farrah? My heart is cold as ice and you didn't warm it up. You got the boob job so that YOU could feel better about YOURSELF. You got the boob job so you can get more attention from guys. It wasn't about booking jobs because let's be honest, most models out there aren't all that well endowed unless you want to work for Victoria's Not so Secret.

Now I'm about to say something that will probably get me flogged in the blogging community among single mothers or young mothers etc but since when do I care? If you don't want the responsibility of having a child then keep your freaking legs closed. Do not HAVE a child if you are not ready to put that kid first. Do NOT take a LOAN out to get boobs because you could be spending that money on making a better life for your child, you could have gotten a loan to move into a more stable home away from your whack job parents. Why have a kid if you just want to drop them off at the nearest babysitter?

When you become a parent you start putting yourself 2nd or 3rd or whatever. You are no longer first. I know that first hand. I'm a girlie girl. I love getting my hair done, I love getting all pretty. Well, when I got pregnant and had D for the first 10 months of her life I completely forgot what it was like to be human. I stopped going and getting my hair colored (and I had about 8 inches of roots to show for it), I stopped shopping in the designer clothes section for me and would rather get myself a pair of jeans from Wal-Mart so I can put that extra money into Burberry or Dior for Demi. I didn't mind either. I would give my life for my kid so who cares about what label is slapped across my ass? The point is that we all have to make sacrifices for our children when we have them. That is what separates the good parents from the shoddy ones.

I'm sorry but its NOT a sacrifice to leave your kid with your mom while you run away to sunny Florida under the guise of it being "for school". You WANT to leave your kid behind because you want to party, you want to be a normal 21 year old woman. I hate to tell you this Farrah but you aren't a woman and you aren't a mom. You were merely a uterus donor and your mom is about to take on the role of "mom" again.

I often hear jaded women use the expression, "Any man can be a father but it takes a real man to be a dad." well, it looks like the same can be said for Farrah, "Any woman can be a mother but it takes a real woman to be a mom," and I'm happy that Farrah's mom is willing to take on that title again because Farrah is just a mess.

Hospitals & Babies

2011-09-20T15:08:00.000-05:00

There are a lot of great things about being a mom but the absolute worst thing has to be dealing with a sick kid. Today my heart broke in so many ways I was so sad. Baby D has had chronic infections in her private regions. She has gotten 3 in the past 3 months. It always starts the same way, it appears to be a diaper rash, a high fever, the rash gets a "pimple" like head which fills with puss and is just an infection.

Her doctor ordered a round of blood tests to check her immune system to see if maybe there is something that her body just can't fight off. I'm not really worried, I'm not the worrying type...my mother and husband on the other hand are huge worry warts! Today was the big day. The day I've been dreading. I hate hospitals and I also hate how my husband always makes me the bad guy. He will drive us to the doctors office or the hospital and he'll sit in the parking lot or drive around while I do the mean mommy routine of taking her in to see the doctor.

So this morning we leave home right around 10:30 and head down to the Montreal Children's Hospital for her 11:40am appointment to have blood drawn. Everything is fine and dandy. She is in great spirits although she has a slight cold. We get to the hospital, hubby parks by the emergency room and I get out and unload the stroller while daddy takes D from the car seat. They say bye and in we go. We check into the blood center and I'm thinking "Hey, its only going to be like 20 minutes or so...." then as we sit in the waiting room (the chairs in the hall way!) I keep on hearing people talk about how long they've been waiting "It's already been two hours!" I suddenly knew that D was NOT going to be happy sitting in her stroller for that long.

I decide to take D out and just let her sit on mommy's lap. She was content for about .15 seconds. She got out of my lap and decided to walk up and down the hall way. I sat on the edge of my chair and just watched her. She went up to every single person and tried to fist bump them. Yes, my 17 month old adorable prim and proper little girl fists bumps. I taught her that while on vacation and she hasn't stopped. I'm not embarrassed by it, I actually find it hilarious that my little girl does this. She actually TEACHES other kids how to do it. She will walk up to someone with a closed fist and wait for them to give her their fist then she pulls her hand back and says "pshhhhhhhhh". So here she is going up and down the little hall way fist bumping everyone, blacks, whites, asians, muslims, she didn't care. She taught a few of the parents what a fist bump was as well. She was the star of the "waiting room".

As we are waiting we learn that we keep getting bumped back for emergency patients to come in and whatnot. I don't mind. I'm a patient person, my kid on the other hand isn't. I sat her in my lap and let her play Old Macdonald on my iPhone. As she was sitting there patiently hitting the pink little pig and watching it run away, I watched a mother push her 3 year old little girl in a wheel chair down the hall. The little gor; had tubes all over her and looked disabled. My heart broke. Sick kids is where I draw my "cold hearted" limit. I can be the biggest bitch about anything and everything but I turn into a little sap when I see a sick kid.

I quickly imagined what life would be like if that was D and I. My heart broke and I wanted to cry. It made me hug my little girl a bit more and give her a little kiss on the head. D hopped off of my lap and ran up to the wheelchair and tried to fist bump that little girl. She waited patiently but the girl wasn't having any of it so of course the talkative little monster that she is starts yelling at the girl. "HI....HELLO.....HI.....Pssssssh" as she put her hand into a fist. She WANTED a fist bump. The mother looked at D and smiled then I smiled at that mom. The little girl curled her hand into a fist and Demi was content. As the girl was strolled down the hall way D yelled "BYE!" until she was out of sight.

We still had some waiting to do so I put D back in the stroller and gently rock her back and forth. I jinxed myself because I told the 17 year old girl next to me, "Any money says that now that she fell asleep they'll call her." Guess what, they called her the second she closed her eyes.

You do the math. Cranky baby + woken up from her sleep + drawing blood = screaming bloody murder. :( I was so sad for her and I hated how I had to hold her legs down while one nurse held down her arms and someone else drew her blood. I hated how loud she screamed, I hated how she had snot running down her face from screaming so loud and hard. I did love how she gave mommy a huge hug and wouldn't let go afterwards. Poor poor baby.

Hospitals are depressing in general but a children't hospital is even worse. I hope that the love that D has for everyone will last as she grows older. D doesn't know the difference between races, religions, sexuality and sick or healthy. She treated everyone equally and it made me happy to see that she was still innocent. George and I refuse to allow racist, sexist, homophobic slurs spoken in our house and I hope that when she gets older she won't find herself friends with someone who does use those types of words.

Our children's innocence is the best thing ever. I fell even more in love with my kid when I saw how she interacted with everyone.

Book Club!!!!

2011-09-14T19:59:00.000-05:00

Nerd alert!! Nerd alert!!

I've always wanted to join a book club but for some reason never really put any effort forward. Guess what? No effort and it just fell into my lap. My sister has a sister in law and she called to let her know that they were starting a book club. My sister asked if she could invite me and the sister in law said sure (see not everyone has crappy inlaws!).

Last night was the first official meeting of the book club. It turns out that as of now there are 8 of us but it looks like we will probably grow to about 11 women. 11 Greek women in one place...all trying to talk about a book....at the same time...it really should be interesting. I would normally say that when you have a book club that slowly people start dropping out of it. In this case its a bit different because we all know each other going INTO the club. It's sisters, cousins, in laws, dating so and so's family member etc. When its a close group you are less likely to lose members.

I'm really excited. We already picked our first book which is Jodi Picoult's Change of Heart. It looks like its going to be a good read. I've read a few of Jodi's books and they have all been amazing. I'm very happy that one of her books was chosen for our book club. I am happy to expand my horizon in regards to types of books that I read because I really do find myself reading "chick lit" or heart breaking books like Picoult or Nicholas Sparks. I need to get back to reading thrillers and things of that sort. Maybe I shall get with the reading of the NY Best Sellers or maybe the Classics?

Our book club is meeting in like 5 weeks to discuss the book and I can read about a book a week so I have plenty of time right? Speaking of reading there is a great website called www.goodreads.com which helps you track what you've read, what you are reading, what you want to read and review books too. It's pretty good. I signed up on there so look for me and we can compare books.

I'll let you know what I think of the books as I read them. :)

Happy reading and hey...I told you it was major nerd alert! :)

Saturday 9: Ready or No

2011-09-09T21:29:00.001-05:00

1. When severe weather happens, generally speaking, are you ready for it?
Yes and no. We have plenty of food, bottled waters, a fire place, and a back up generator. I think we'd be okay for a while.
2. If you could wake up tomorrow with a new talent, what would it be?
I'd like to be able to write the way I used to write. It would flow effortlessly.

3. What do you strive for in life?
Perfection. Just kidding. I just strive for being as happy as I can be! :)

4. If you were given a vacation home and you could have it anywhere, what location would you choose?
Italy! Beautiful beaches and amazing shopping. What else could I ask for?

5. Do you feel energized or drained by being in a group situation? If the answer is "it depends," on what does it depend?
It depends on my mood going into it. Sometimes I'm very much a people person and love it. I get energized. Other days just the thought of one other person much less a group drains me.

6. When you're sick do you take "sick days" or do you force yourself to continue working? I never STOP working. Even when I am sick and don't go into the office I can be found making phone calls and answering emails. My sick days are to benefit others, so I don't give them my cooties.

7. What is your absolute favorite piece of furniture you have and why? My bed. I love my bed. The head board is beautiful the mattress is so comfortable. It just looks like a nice statement piece.

8. When you go out, where do you like to go? What do you like to do? I gotta say, I enjoy going BOWLING. It's one of those things that we don't do too often so its fun. It's even more fun when its drunk disco bowling.

9. How's life? Is it treating you well right now?

Life is pretty great. I can't complain.

Saturday Nine meme hosted by Samantha

Wine & Love

2011-09-08T09:40:00.000-05:00

I found the cutest little meme hosted by Nora on Amber's blog and thought I'd join in.

What we are supposed to do is write down what is making us reach for wine, tequila or whatever your poison is followed by our loves. This should be things you've whined about and loved since LAST week.

Wines

Everyone being out of the office but me. You'd think this is great news but its not. I get to deal with everyone's complaints and problems. Woofuckinghoo.
It got cold way way way too fast. It went from a hot summer day to a super chilly fall day. Isn't there supposed to be gradual shift?
I have another ear infection. Yes. Really.

Loves

My daughter started at the daycare we own and I feel so much more comfortable with her there. She seems to have adapted so well and everyone loves her! :)
The office is at least peacful :) I SHOULD be able to find time to finish some tedious tasks!
My husband bought me the nicest pair of skinny jeans by Calvin Klein an they fit like a glove.
I just reloaded my e-reader with a bunch of new books and I'm so excited to find some time to just read while enjoying a nice glass of wine!
Did I mention I'm going to Blogher12?

Wordless Wednesday

2011-09-07T18:30:00.001-05:00

words are not needed to get this point across...

It's NOT putting your kids down...crazy lady!

2011-09-04T20:29:00.001-05:00

So there is a blog post making its rounds on the blogosphere that is called "Stop Putting Down Your Kids". I read the post a few times trying to figure out where Tara was coming from. Was it written with some sort of humor that was deeply hidden? Was it written from an angry place? I finally realized where it came from. It was written from high above us "normal" parents, on her pedestal.

She says that putting down your children is not helpful, funny, nor will it improve your relationship with your child. I totally get it. Putting down your children is down right crappy. However, all the examples she gave are NOT examples of putting down a child. The examples she gave are of mother's expressing their feelings to their friends, peers, co-workers or whatever.

Putting down a child is saying something along the lines of "my child is such a fucking douchebag. He's 4 years old and still not potty trained. I think he is mentally handicapped". "My child hasn't stopped eating crap, she is going to become a heifer"

It seems to me that Tara has a hard time getting the difference between parents discussing their hardships, their troubles, their hard times, problems, or however you want to call them and putting down. Putting down is an insult. Putting down is hurting someone's feelings. Tara went pretty far and even called "putting down your kids" as being selfish.

Is it really selfish? Is it selfish to speak to other moms about issues you are having with your child/children? Here I thought it was a way to interact and bond with other parents and maybe do this weird thing called getting advice. Where should we turn to for advice about children misbehaving, not sleeping well, not eating well or whatever? Should we just google and hope we come up with something good? I know that when D was having issues sleeping I spoke to my friend and she told me about her family's bed time routine and how the end result was her daughter sleeping straight through the night.

When D decided that eating wasn't something she was fond of I spoke to a few friends and complained "Oh my god, D is going to be as picky as an eater as me. She hasn't eaten a solid meal in about 3 days!" and my mommy friends told me about their issues when their children were younger and gave me some suggestions.

You see, some might see it as complaining about our children but NEVER putting them down. Even the complaining is warranted. A parent's job is never over. It's a 24/7 deal. If our child keeps us up all night and we can't function its not good. We have the right to complain, to talk, to get advice. We have the right to NOT be judged for talking to other parents about our issues or hardships. We have the right to turn to a friend and ask advice and compare horror stories and share survival tips.

Look, let's be honest, no one is going to give you an award for being a great parent but you shouldn't be made to feel like a shitty one for turning to someone to ask for help. If anything it makes us feel like a more normal parent for knowing that the majority of parents are dealing with or have dealt with the same thing.

So how do you feel about Tara's post?

MTV & The Law

2011-09-01T21:45:00.001-05:00

I'm watching Jersey Shore right now. It's a repeat so I'm not really paying attention. They showed a commercial for Teen Mom and it was about Amber getting arrested for domestic violence. I don't know why but I got really pissed off. No, seriously. I got mad.

Why!?

A few seasons ago Snooki got punched in the face by some "gorilla" at the bar. MTV first aired the preview for the episode and the entire world got in an uproar over MTV airing this. How in the heck can they air a clip of a woman (?) getting punched in the face by a guy with a clear conscious. How could they? What were they thinking!? MTV of course edited the footage and showed the fight minus the actual punch in the face.

Then about a year or year and a half MTV aired a scene on Teen Mom in which Amber started punching Gary in front of their young daughter Leah. Once again, everyone was in an uproar. People called the police, the courts demanded that MTV hand over the raw footage of that. Charges were pressed, she was arrested, and custody was taken from Amber (I'm 100% in agreement and its NOT just about the hitting, I think she is a very very shitty mom).

Well, where exactly is the uproar when people watch Jersey Shore and see the ticking time bomb that is known as Ron? In the past 4 sesaons of Jersey Shore Ron repeatedly flips out. When I say flips out I mean physically punching people, destroying personal property that isn't his, and emotionally abusive of his girlfriend (not to say that Sam doesn't act the same way!). Where is are the cries of domestic abuse? Where is the uproar? Where is the "that isn't right, what is MTV thinking!?"

According to Wikipedia Domestic violence is defined as: Domestic violence, so defined, has many forms, including physical aggression (hitting, kicking, biting, shoving, restraining, slapping, throwing objects), or threats thereof; sexual abuse; emotional abuse; controlling or domineering; intimidation; stalking; passive/covert abuse (e.g.,neglect); and economic deprivation. Alcohol consumption and mental illness^[can be co-morbid with abuse, and present additional challenges when present alongside patterns of abuse.

I dunno but it seems to me like that entire paragraph above just basically says "Ron & Sam". I've watched Ron:

get into a fight on the board walk and get arrested
shove Sam out of the way (repeatedly)
completely trash Sam's room and break things (including her glasses)
put her bed on the porch and say that since she "acts like a dog she can sleep like a dog"
trash Mike's room and stuff
get into a physical altercation with Mike.

His behavior is always amplified by drinking.

I get that the MTV veiwers became concerned because its not normal for a guy to punch a girl (Snooki), be abusive in front of your child (Amber) but are we sitting down and accepting that its okay for a man to treat a woman like this as long as no physical punches are thrown to her? What about emotional abuse? What about mental health?

I never got into an uproar about any of the situations presented above so I'm not going to get my panties in a bunch about this either but for all of those who did get involved by calling the police, sending emails, boycotting the show/network...where are you now? Don't you care?!

What is your opinion on this?

S.H.I.T. - So Happy Its Thursday

2011-09-01T08:19:00.000-05:00

My lovely bloggy friend Rusti hosts a wonderful blog meme/link up every week. Every week I read it and I giggle. Who doesn't giggle at the title SHIT? I know I do (then again I'm mentally 12).

Reasons I'm So Happy Its Thursday

Its almost Friday which means a LONG weekend!
It has to be better than Tuesday right!? Right?
Tassimo is set to deliver my new order of coffee to the office (I ordered the iced coffee)
I'm in discussions with a company for a review/giveaway on my blog!
Its also Marcie's Thirsty Thursday blog hop which I really enjoy! (I find all kinds of awesome bloggers to follow)
It's a long weekend to spend with my little adorable baby girl! I think I'm gonna mess around with my camera to take some new pictures of her for her portfolio!

So now its your turn to tell me why you are so happy its Thursday!?

Wordless Wednesday

2011-08-31T20:40:00.000-05:00

Almost didn't get this in on time.....

A bit too young to try the sexy look eh?

Giving Up A Part of Yourself

2011-08-29T22:02:00.001-05:00

So there seems to be a common theme on my blog posts. A lot of comments or emails will be like, "Wow, I can't believe you wrote that. Tell us how you really feel." "Oh my god, I'd never be able to say that!" and I've always wondered why. It's can't possibly be that my ass constantly overrides my mouth can it? It can't be that I'm always such a bitch.

Then I take the time to check out the blogs of the people who leave me those comments, emails, or tweets. There is a huge difference between their blog and my blog. I'm not sponsored or doing reviews/giveaways. I've been debating for a while of if I've wanted to seek out sponsorships. I think that they are great and they benefit everyone. The company sponsoring you gets more recognition and when doing reviews/giveaways your blog readership base pretty much grows. It's a win/win situation.

BUT then I think about "who would sponsor me". My blog isn't all sunshine and roses. Its real. Its raw. Its me. I curse, I say mean things, I don't hold my tongue. There aren't very many companies who want to sponsor someone like that but I don't forsee me changing the way I write to please someone else.

Can I clean up my mouth a bit on my blog? Can I stop dropping the F-Bomb? Sure I can. Can I try to sugar coat the meanness? Sure I could...but it wouldn't be mean. Yes, I'm the one who said "I'm unfollowing someone ugly" on Twitter and then later got called a bully and had a whole blog post dedicated to me and how I obviously must feel horrible about myself since I'm being "mean". I'd hate to NOT be able to blog about how a company did something to irk me, or how my sister in law is an annoying twit. I'd hate to have to basically censor everything I'd want to say because of a sponsor.

So do any of you feel that you are giving up a part of yourself when blogging and being sponsored? How do you NOT lose yourself?

Soooo Trippy!

2011-08-26T21:08:00.002-05:00

Since I'm not the greatest at blogging on a regular basis I've been thinking of either doing a 30 day blog challenge (last time I failed miserably but they were "letter a day" type of things and y'all see how I write. I don't do "short") or try a writer's workshop.

For now I've decided on a workshop. :)

The writing prompt I choose to write about something embarrassing that happened at school. I'm hoping that college counts as school because otherwise I can't really recall embarrassing.

I should preface this by letting you know that I moved to Montreal when I was 17 years old. Straight out of high school and didn't know anyone who wasn't related to me. I withdrew from college my first semester due a big surgery and long recovery. I spent a lot of time on ICQ (way back when!).

So one day I'm chillin on ICQ and I guess someone did a search for people in Montreal that went to a specific college because I got a message from some random dude. I was bored so we started talking. Found out that his name was Tim her went to the same college as me but he was enrolled in a different program. He sent me a few pictures of him, I sent him a few pictures of me. We really hit it off. After about a week of talking he asked if I wanted to meet him.

We agreed to meet during "universal" which is an hour and a half on Wednesdays when no one has class. I had suggested the "Greek" cafeteria and he declined. He suggested "Italian" cafeteria and I declined (the reason why is a whole other story.....I might add it to this blog post). We basically decided that since we hadn't ever met in person before that going to the cafeteria when the entire campus didn't have class could be tricky trying to recognize one another. We agreed to meet on the 4th floor of the library, obviously a place that college students don't go to.

So its Wednesday, I just got out of English and am walking with a friend. As we approach the library I let her know that this is where I get off for today and that she should call my cell if she doesn't hear from me within an hour and a half. I walk into the library and it strikes me that we didn't really agree to WHERE we'd meet. By the check out desk? By the doors? By the computers? At a table that there are only like 50 of? I don't have to wonder for very long. Tim comes up to me within a minute of me being in the library. We do the European air kiss thing, we give hugs, and of course say hi and whatever. We agree to go to an ethnic neutral place to grab a bite to eat. Jake's cafeteria. (Yes my college had like 19 freaking cafeterias). As soon as we take like 3 steps towards the door I trip. On what? I have no freaking idea. It was like my legs just gave out of me. I was like "Uh, yeah....sorry...I think I tripped on my pant leg". He helped me up and we laughed it off.

During our meal some of our friends would drop by where we were eating and just say hi and whatever. One of my friends took that opportunity to invite us to her Halloween party. I was obviously going to go but Tim...well, we had just met. He didn't have to go. He said he'd think about it and we went on with our lives. Over the course of the week Tim and I would talk on the phone (the things we did before text messaging!) and on ICQ. He told me that he would be coming to the party and asked what time he should show up. I told him I was going early to help my friend set up and to come when he was free.

Halloween is upon us and my friends and are I decorating the apartment. We are getting our drink on as we decorate as well. The party starts and we are all having a good time. I'm in the kitchen making some drinks when someone calls out to me, "Jenny, Tim is here!". I'm not going to lie, I got a bit excited. I skipped/walked to the door and as soon as I saw him.....I fell.

Seriously. At least this time I knew WHY.
Let me explain: Montreal + Halloween = Winter (Ice/Snow/Rain)
Winter + Hard wood floors = slippery.
Slippery + A natural born klutz = Hi Jenny meet the floor...again

As Tim helped me up I laughed and promised him that I did, in fact, know how to walk. One of my friends popped a comment about Tim making me weak to my knees. It wasn't true. Sure he was attractive but he was no Paul Walker. I didn`t speak to Tim again after that Halloween party. I kind of wonder if its because he thought that I couldn`t walk?

Yeah that is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me....so I guess I'm not too bad right?! If that is the worst thing that has happened then I'm getting off easy!

P.S. The reason I didn't want to go into the Italian Cafeteria is because when I was dating a guy named Marco he asked me to meet him in the caf. As soon as I walked in like 200 people started clapping as he approached me to walk me to the table. I got introduced to half the Italian population of the school that day and that freaked me the heck out. I could never walk in there again!

What is the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you at school?

Sending Mixed Signals as Moms

2011-08-25T22:02:00.000-05:00

This blog post might hit a few nerves so I apologize in advance if you get offended by this. It is not my intention to offend, its just my intention to say what I feel.

I get annoyed when I come across twitter handles and blog names and emails that are soandsos'smom. It drives me insanely crazy. I don't really know why this is bothers me but it does. I guess I've always thought of it like, Yes, my daughter IS my biggest accomplishment but she is NOT the only thing in my life that I've accomplished. I'm a mother but I have an identity outside of a mom. I wear more than one hat, don't you?

Growing up I hated being called "Alex's little sister". Along with correcting them that I'm the "younger" sister NOT the little sister I'd be sure to throw my name in there. I'm "Jenny, Alex's younger sister," or if you prefer "Alex's younger sister, Jenny." Now that I'm older I still get ticked off by those types of labels. I dropped Demi off at daycare the other day and a parent goes to me, "Are you Demi's mom" "Yes, I'm Jenny, Demi's mom."

Now my post isn't about the lack of using my name and only referring to me as a mom but its about the message we send to our children, mainly our daughters. From the moment we give birth nowadays we are freaked out by trying to remain gender neutral and not push a sex on a kid. We try not to give dolls to girls and trucks to boys. We try not to use terms like "sweet girl" and "strong boy". We don't stress boy toys or girl toys and boy colors and girl colors. We teach both our sons and daughters that they can be anything they want to be. We love and support them in anything they do. We teach them about doing what they want and finding themselves. We allow our children to form their own identities and we support them in that. When we notice that our children are out of line we discipline them, when we notice they are too shy we try to coax them out of their shell. But we always support their identity. The kid is girlie, a tomboy, tough, a bit weak, in touch with this/her feelings, emotional...we work with our kids and figure out how to approach them. How to talk to them, how to discipline them depending on their personalities.

Then a funny thing happens, our daughter's grow up and become moms and even we stop calling them by their names. We'll ask our grandchildren "Where is your mommy? What did your mommy say? Did mommy make you breakfast today?" We stop talking to our children about how their day was an instead ask how THEIR child's day was. We spent all this time teaching our children to become their own person and then we let them lose it and just focus on their being a mom. We tell our daughters to never fall into a man's shadow. To stand on their own and be their own person. Don't rely on a man for money, emotional support, or anything. Be equals. Be partners. Then somehow we end up allowing our children to go from "Jenny" to "Demismom.blogspot.com" We say nothing of this we think this is completely normal. It's NOT.

It gets under my skin. Maybe my mom raised me different, maybe I'm too hard headed? I don't want to just be known as a mom. There is so much more to me than what I popped out of my vagina. Now I don't mind being a mom, in fact I love it but its not everything that encompasses me. If that makes me a bad mom then I guess I'm a horrible mom. I guess I'm just urging more moms to step out of their children's shadows and be your own person. Don't be just a mom.

Does this get under your skin or are you one of the offenders!?

Show Me Your Rings

2011-08-24T11:45:00.000-05:00

Show Me Your Rings

There is a cute Meme happening on the blogosphere these past few days and I decided to jump in on it.

Did you look at rings together?

Nope. I had mentioned from the get go that I can not stand solitaire settings. I am a very social person and I believe that my diamond should be as well. George asked me email him some pictures of engagement rings I just loved and he had one of them made for me!

Do you like your ring? Did you from the beginning?…and be honest!

I LOVED my ring. I adored it. It was perfect and exactly what I always wanted.

How often do you wear your rings?

Every single day. I think I only took it off when we went on our honeymoon and I went in the ocean with it for the first time. I thought I was going to lose it so I ran back to the hotel and put it in the safe.

Do you clean your rings?

You'd be very surprised at how well a salt water pool can clean your ring.

What went through your mind the very first time you saw your ring?

It's about freaking time!!! I was in shock at how George proposed to me and I couldn't take my eyes off of my stunning ring. It completely floored me that it was exactly what I wanted.

I had seen our wedding bands because we picked them out together.

Thank you to Cheryl for an amazing photograph of the rings that she took at my daughter's baptism.

More bad food - Seriously

2011-08-23T21:29:00.000-05:00

It seems I have a knack for choosing crappy places to eat. A few months ago I wrote about a dining experience gone way way wrong.. A little update to that: My sister and I went back with our husbands and parents a few months ago. AMAZING food and amazing service. We were more than pleased.

But....There is a restaurant in my city called Tripoli, its a Greek place with amazing food. The food has NEVER been bad but the service, OMG, the service is horrible. Every single time we go we complain about the service. If you are drinking beer you need to order 3 at a time just to ensure you'll have enough to get you through the meal.

Last time I was there was October 2010. We went for a friend's birthday. We started our dinner at 7pm and ended at 11pm. It wasn't because we were drinking and enjoying ourselves, it was because the service was soooooooo slow. I said I wouldn't go back because I just don't enjoy myself. I don't enjoy waiting 45 minutes for our EMPTY plates to be taken away in order to bring us our next course. I don't enjoy waiting 45 minutes for you to bring me a glass of water. It just isn't enjoyable and no matter how good the food is, its not worth it to me. I swore I wouldn't go back. I did pretty good, nearly a year.

Today I get home from work and this is the conversation we had:

DH: Hey did George call or text you?
Me: No, why? What's up?
DH: Where is your phone?
Me: In my back pocket. Why George, what is up? Is something wrong.
DH: Can you look at your phone?
(I pull my phone out of my pocket and see that I do NOT have a missed call or text)
DH: Well he's going to call or text you soon to see if you want to go out for dinner tonight...............to Tripoli.
Me: Man really? Okay fine since its George.

A few minutes later the house phone rings and we confirm that we are going to meet there at 7pm. I change D's clothes and get dressed pack the diaper bag and walk to the car.

We get to Tripoli where we are greeted by the owners wife. She asks if we are only 2 plus the baby. I said no, 6 plus the baby. We get seated and we are now waiting for the rest of our party to arrive.

3 minutes later the owners wife comes up to just George, myself, and the baby and says, "Would you like to place your order now or are you waiting on the rest of your party?" Uhhhh what the freak do you think? If we wanted to order ourselves, without the rest of our table we might as well stayed home.

So now our entire table is seated, we are waiting....and waiting....and waiting.....for someone to come see us to ask if we'd like to order our food or maybe even a drink. We place the entire order TOGETHER. We ordered drinks, apps, and main meal at the same time to save the waitress the trouble of coming back to our table to keep taking orders. George orders 2 beers in one shot. Do you know how long we sat at a table with no food, no drinks, and no explanation as to why we had none? FORTY-FIVE minutes. Yes 45 minutes with an empty table.

Our appetizers get to the table before our drinks do. As the waitress is handing out the appetizers she says, "Your drinks are on their way." FROM WHERE? Freaking Mexico? Shouldn't they have arrived FIRST? A few more minutes pass and she comes by our table again and says," Your drinks will be right out." FINALLY our drinks come, George orders another beer just for good measure and my husband points out to the waitress that she forgot to bring one of plates from the kitchen. She rushes back and brings it to us.

Now we finish our apps, we are waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting for the meal courses to be brought out. Heck, we are waiting for them to even come and pick up our app dishes. Nope, no luck. Another 45 minutes passes and the waitress tells us at this point, "Everything will be smooth sailing from this point on." The table behinds us gets up before their food arrives, complains to someone and walks out. I felt like doing the same thing but somehow George knows the guy and it would be rude. Really? It's rude making people wait that long for food and water...and did you notice notice the 17 month old with us who was getting very tired and VERY impatient?

Nothing was smooth sailing, we waited another 10 minutes for our food. While we are waiting for our food the restaurant begins to fill with smoke. Something was burning and of course they couldn't admit that by opening a door or window right? Oh and at this point we are debating just asking them to cancel our main meals. As we flag the waitress over she is bringing our salad/main course. The fries that our plates came with were so over cooked that they were actually chips...expect they weren't thin enough to be chips. Look, if I wanted chips I would have opened a bag of Lays and called it a night. This is insane. Everyone just shuts their mouths and eats the edible portions of their food.

We ask for the bill which does NOT get brought to us. My husband had to get up and go find the waitress in order to pay the bill. One of the waiters actually commented "I've worked in worse places" and "Yeah its really bad eh" and started laughing when I asked him if he wanted me to crush my fries and make confetti out of it.

When your staff starts to laugh at where he works its time for a change. It's time to either hire more wait staff or more kitchen staff. It's not like it was an off night. This has happened every single time we go there regardless of the day of the week.

Tomorrow I will call Tripoli and let the owner know what I think of their establishment and their service as well as leaving negative reviews on any and all food forums I can find. This is ridiculous.

Mark my words, Tripoli will never get a dollar off of me. If you see me in there I give you the right to spit on me.

Paid Not to Wear Clothes?

2011-08-17T21:15:00.000-05:00

Now I'm sure we all know that celebrities and television personalities are paid large sums of money to endorse, wear, and promote clothes, shoes, drinks, cereals and whatnot but have you ever heard of a company paying someone NOT to wear their clothes?

If you haven't heard the news Abercrombie & Fitch offered to pay Jersey Shore cast members NOT to wear their clothes. Well, that plan backfired big time with A&F's stock falling a HUGE 9% when this news broke. Abercrombie asked Mike Sorrentino better known as "the Situation" and the rest of the cast to not wear their clothes while filming their MTV hit "Jersey Shore".

I, for one, have never been a big fan of Abercrombie & Fitch. It's not readily available in Quebec but I was raised in Texas for a large portion of my life and guess what, I never bought their clothes, in fact I wouldn't even walk in their stores. I was just never attracted to it but I can guarantee you one thing though, if I WAS a fan of A&F this latest douchebag move of one of their executives would make me stop wearing it...Especially when he apparently didn't do his research. Guess what? Abercrombie & Fitch used to sell Jersey Shore t-shirts with their catch phrase G.T.L on it as well as other well known Jersey Shore sayings.

The head honcho's over at A&F thought that by the cast of the Jersey Shore wearing their brand that it was "causing significant damage to their brand" and that the show was "contrary to the aspirational nature of the brand". Hmmmm looks like being a douchebag bigwig caused more damage to the brand than the Situation, Sammi Sweetheart, Snooki or others could have ever caused it.

I think I might have understood their outrage if it was a huge expensive company that associated itself with class. Imagine Snooki going out to a guido bar all decked out in head to toe vintage Chanel? I could understand Chanel being upset and their reputation hurt by that. Chanel is NOT cheap, it is NOT found in your local mall next to the Gap. But even then, I'm sure that Chanel has enough class not to pay someone not to wear their clothes.

Later in the day MTV released a statement thinking that maybe this was just a publicity stunt to get A&F's name out there...looks like that failed badly. Do you know how huge a 9% fall is in one day? After the market and stock was already falling to shit?

So I guess I'll keep in line with not buying A&F clothes and just stick to my Michael Kors, Prada, Miss Sixty etc. Oh, don't forget tomorrow is Jersday!! Do you have your GTL shirt? I'll be sporting this t-shirt tomorrow.

How NOT to do Business Part II

2011-08-15T21:41:00.000-05:00

In my last blog I wrote about how I had a bad experience with a business. When I hung up the phone on Friday I thought that was the end of that bad experience. I wrote in my blog about it and called it a day. I basically filed it away and figured nothing else would come of it.

I was wrong. I'm very rarely wrong but when I am I can admit it. This afternoon around 4:30pm my office phone rings. I pick up the phone without even glancing at the phone and give my usual greeting. I'm shocked to hear the voice on the other end, "Jenny, this is "stupid guy" from "stupid company" and I'm calling because..." His because would leave you floored.

This guy decided that he wanted money for doing mock ups for me. I'm sorry but what?! Yep. He explained to me that his company only provides free art work IF they get the job and that since we chose not to go with them we owe him $300.00. Excuse me? He didn't even do any art work. My graphic designer (God bless her, always working on last minute projects for me) created all the art work, all his team did was place it on a t-shirts DIGITALLY. Drag an already made logo to an already made t-shirt and arrange the logo on the shirt. Simple. Point and click. Okay, so maybe its not THAT simple but it most certainly is not 3 hours worth of work like he claimed.

I explained to him that i felt he was just doing this because he is angry that he did not get the job. When a company calls you to ask for a quote it is your job to give them an accurate description of what they will be getting. It is your job to give them what they ask for and if you don't "win" the bid you suck it up and consider the work you did to be a cost of business. It isn't like this guy designed an entire suite of products from scratch. I provided ALL the art work, it was all done for him!! I think what gets my goat the most is the fact that the ONLY reason he wants the money for pretend artwork is because we turned him down.

Not only that but during the phone conversation he mentions that he has our credit card information on file since we worked with them last year. What? Are you threatening me? Are you basically saying that you'll run our card number with or without my consent? At that point I told him that I was disappointed with his behaviour and that I do NOT authorize him to charge our card. That I have to speak to my boss about it and then I will call him back to let him know if he can charge the card or not. He goes on to say that he would rather speak with my boss directly since he is not pleased with the way that things turned out and doesn't think that my boss made a good decision as an executive and he feels as if I'm caught in the middle.

I'm not sure what I think is more insulting, the fact that he thinks I'm slow and don't understand how business works, the the president of a multi-million dollar company is stupid and makes bad decisions as an executive, or the fact that he thinks all of us are just going to sit there and take it. I mean seriously?

I told the guy thank you for his time and I'd be back with him shortly. I hung up and sent my boss an email explaining the situation and we now have preemptively contacted MasterCard in order make sure that this particular company doesn't charge our credit card.

Again I ask, what would you do if you were caught up in this situation? Would you lose your cool in a professional environment and tell this person where to shove it? Would you ignore the situation completely? -- I'm going to call my friend who referred me to this particular vendor and let him know that not only will I NOT do business with him but I would suggest that they stop giving him out as a recommendation. What an unprofessional person.

How NOT to do business.

2011-08-12T20:53:00.000-05:00

Today was what I'd call a rough day at work. I spent the majority of the day shooting off emails or calling people. The calls were rough. I had to inform a few companies that they lost bids to do work for us.

Let me give you a little insight. We are fast approaching trade show season in our industry. It's going to be a rough end of August through mid-October. Along with the everyday happening at work I have to plan tradeshows, make the price list for next year, put together the binder that includes the price list and product information, oh, and don't forget we are redoing a lot of packaging and launching new products. Yeah, I'm not going to be swamped AT ALL! But hey, that isn't the point of this post. The point is that we are in the midst of planning shows and we decided that we will be giving out t-shirts at some of these shows. The t-shirt will have our company name, the website, and the icons for twitter, facebook, and youtube.com (we've just recently gone into social media and launched a new website).

I called a company in Texas that does a large part of our printing of flyers, pamphlets etc. to see if they know anyone that prints t-shirts. While I was waiting for the referral to come via email I called the company that we use here in Montreal often for a quote. At the same time my boss asked me to ask our sales reps if they had a printing person that could get a good price. Let's be honest, the economy is pretty much crappy right now and we are all looking for the best price possible. I got the first bid in from the Montreal company and while I hit the forward button to show my boss I knew we wouldn't be using them. They were extremely over priced. Seriously. The referral from my friend in Texas came through and we discussed t-shirt brand, feel, print ideas etc. while I was waiting on his quote a quote came in from one of my sales reps contacts. I informed this guy that I was waiting for a quote from another company. He said he understood.

I felt overwhelmed but I knew one thing for sure. The Montreal company was out. The referral from Texas sent me mock ups via email but no pricing. He told me that he would stay in line with what we paid last year (I was off work for a year so I have no clue what it is). I told the company that my sales rep referred me to that although they have great prices and great mock ups I am still waiting on one more bid. He told me that he completely understood. A few minutes later I got another email from him asking for more details and he said "I'm confident that I'll be the price best and I'd like to be proactive while you wait for your final quote. Can I have the following information...."

My boss made the decision last night. He wanted to go with the company that my sales rep brought to us. He managed to get us higher quality shirts at a better price and he was located closer to come of our trade shows so the shipping price would be cheaper too. I called the guy this morning and finalized some details and gave him the green light. BUT before I could do that I got a call from the Montreal company asking if we made a decision. Unfortunately I couldn't bring myself to let her down. What I told her instead was that we were waiting for another quote. She said, "Wow, that hurt." I don't understand why that could hurt? Are we supposed to blindly just accept your pricing without looking at another company? Are we supposed to assume that you are the best priced company? I'm really sorry but over the 4 years I've worked at this company I've quickly realized that instead of being the cheapest it really is one of the highest priced companies when doing printed materials. I think it might have hurt because my boss didn't just say "Okay" instead we decided to shop around.

I then had to call the company that was referred to me by a friend. I started off all nice and friendly and brought myself to say, "I'm really sorry but we have decided to go with another company" and then the guy went off on me. He asked what the pricing difference was and if we were willing to kill a business relationship over a couple hundred dollars and how he didn't feel his company was given a fair chance. I told him that "You were higher priced on lower quality shirts, therefore I'd assume that you are going to be higher priced on the higher quality shirts too" and he kept on going in. I mentioned that the other companies price quote included 24 Adidas polo shirts as well and then he says "Yeah Adidas is just throwing free shirts at everyone these days. He must have a rejected load" Wow. Excuse me!? Can't you just shut your face and accept that we decided to go with another company? Then he said the thing that irked me the most, "I don't understand how an executive would choose to go with a completely new company when we have worked together and proved that we price well, work on short deadlines, and always deliver on time." I basically, very politely told him, "I'm sorry but last year we did take a chance on you and it worked out for us, we are hoping that this year the same thing happens."

I completely understand that a company can be disappointed when they were expecting to land a $6000 job but I did inform them that I was waiting on other bids. I told all the companies that we were waiting on other bids (except the Montreal company who came in right around $10,000). I was honest and remained professional. I don't see how the owner of a company can just bitch and moan to me about us not choosing them. I would even understand him making a comment like, "I'm really sorry/disappointed that this didn't work out, I was looking forward to working with you." I can understand him telling a business partner how he's disappointed or how he was banking on getting the job. I just don't find it was very professional of him to complain directly to a company that MIGHT have used him again in the future. I can promise you one thing though, as long as I am at the company we will NOT work with that particular company again.

So, would you ever complain directly to a customer or potential customer?

Hey. Hey you. Get over yourself!

2011-08-11T21:55:00.000-05:00

Have you ever met people that just can't get over themselves? They are so obsessed with thinking that you are obsessed with them meanwhile they haven't crossed your mind in ummmm ages? No this isn't a blog post about an ex-boyfriend that thinks I'm obsessed or hung up on him. This is about a person I barely know and barely cared for when I knew them.

Let me tell you a little story that goes way back. This goes back quite a few years but let's skip all the boring stuff and just get to the "good" part. My husband used to be friends with a guy we'll call B. B is married to someone we'll call G. G and I had a falling out of sorts. Basically, one day about 3 years ago I had gone out with friends and noticed a group of girls. This group was made up of 5 people, 4 of them were what I'd consider pretty. The 5th girl is what I would consider ugly, or if we are trying to be politically correct, she was not pretty. The pretty girls were all wearing jeans or leggings with a long sweater or tunic. The not so pretty girl was dressed like a whore. She was wearing a skin tight tiny dress with no leggings and "fuck me boots". I came home from being out and posted a status on Facebook about how in a group of girls there will always be the ugly girl who tries harder to "out sexy" the rest of the girls. Apparently G thought that my status was about her. I didn't know this around the same time I had posted my status G was "tagged" in a picture that was sort of the same. A group of girls, most pretty, one not, and the not pretty one lookin' like a ho. Let it be known that I AM NOT friends with any of G's friends on Facebook since I don't really like them. I didn't SEE this picture. Anyway, G was upset and thought that my post was about her. It wasn't. I said so. She didn't believe me and then told her husband and some mutual friends. Our friends were like, "I don't think it was about you, I mean, its a known thing, like every group has the token black friend they also have the token whore". She still choose to believe what she wanted to believe.

She sent me an email asking me about it and we exchanged a few emails back and forth and her husband even called me to tell me his opinion. We basically ended it as we can't be friends. There was a lot of "he said/she said" crap and if we are being honest, which I am, I never really liked G in the first place. I just tolerated her because my friend (at the time) was dating her then married to her.

Over the past three years we have crossed paths due to being invited to the same functions but I never spoke to them. I didn't even give them so much as a hi. My husband on the other hand would speak to B & G when he'd see them out and about. That is great. I told him I didn't care if eh even hung out with them my own rule was that they couldn't come into my house.

Well now, 3 whole years later somehow my name gets brought up into a mess that G has found herself in. Unfortunately the details of what happened won't be written here because its NOT my story to tell. The basic jist of it was that G received an anonymous email telling her stuff. When she got the email she was very upset and decided to call a friend to talk to them about it. During that conversation with her friend she said, "the only person who hates me enough to do this to me is Jenny." I'm very happy to know that the friend defended me and said, "She hasn't shown you a sign of life in 3 years, why would she pop out of the woodwork and send you an email after all this time." Let me explain something to you, what the email said, was something I already knew. I knew 3 years ago. I said nothing 3 years ago. Why would I pop so many years later and say something I didn't say when I actually SPOKE to you?

I had decided not to address the issue any further. I was going to let sleeping dogs lie. Even if I wanted to there was nothing I could do. I don't have her phone number, her email address, or any contact information. When I decide to cut someone out of my life, I completely delete them from my life. Then I got on my blog yesterday and checked some statistics. I saw that someone from her work was logged onto my blog for 2 hours. There were like 30 page views. I don't know if she was scanning my blog to see if there was any reference of her on it or if maybe she trying to compare my writing to her anonymous email or whatever. But the point is that she was on my blog for 2 freaking hours because she believes that after 3 years, I decided to email her. Well here is me putting it out, on my blog, for all to see.

Hey Georgia, I didn't email you okay? You can stop stalking my blog, you can stop thinking you are on my mind. Have a nice life okay?

Bad Parenting Day

2011-08-08T21:02:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had a day that you thought you were the most horrible parent? Maybe you thought you had the most horrible kid? Things just weren't going right no matter how hard you tried. That has been my past two days with D. She has been a terror and nothing is wrong with her.

Like, no fever, no pain, no new teeth. I just can't figure it out. It is like she woke up on the wrong side of the bed for the past two days. From the moment she woke up and I went to pick her up it was screaming/crying. She screamed during the diaper change and getting dressed, she screamed as her dad carried her down the stairs, she cried while we attempted to feed her breakfast. She cried in the car while going to daycare. She probably cried the entire time she was there too but with my luck she was a great child at daycare saving her energy only to make my life hell.

Today I came home from work and everything seemed okay. She was playful and laughing and that lasted for about 15 minutes. From then on it was full out crying (unless she was eating a popicle and I ain't gonna lie, I let her have 3 of them just to have some peace and quiet!). Yesterday while driving to my sister's house I asked George to just pull over so that I could jump in the river. Yeah, that bad.

It's not like I can't handle a crying baby. I get that babies cry, I get that toddlers cry, I get the kids in general can and will cry. I just don't understand WHY she has been moody like that. There is no "logical" reason why she should be crying and that is what gets to me. It makes my head hurt, my skin crawl, and it takes every ounce of willpower to not just flip out.

I feel like she is crying because I did something to her. Yesterday when George and I left she was a pleasant little human for the babysitter. She was all smiles and playful. When I got home it was game on. Cry cry cry. Today when George picked her up she was excellent until I got home. Is she being a pest with me because she knows it gets under my skin? Is she a pest with me because she is mad that I don't give in to her everything? EVERYONE in my family will do whatever D wants in order to keep her quiet. Oh she wants Cheetos instead of apples. Okay. Oh she wants to bang on the keyboard on the computer. Okay. Oh she wants to slap your face because its fun? Okay. Oh she wants up...no down...no up...no down..Okay. I can't do that. I can not allow a 17 month old child to run my house. I can't let her start these bad habits can i?

So people, I'm asking you. How do you handle a toddler who is just....out of control?

I don't hate you but I certainly don't respect you.

2011-08-07T11:13:00.000-05:00

Wow. I think I've blogged 3 times this week depending on if you think the week starts on Sunday or not. I'm a Monday to Monday type of girl therefore I have blogged 3 times in one week. Anyway....

So last night I had some girlfriends over (what else is new) and we were just talking and shooting the shit. One of my friends goes to me, "Dude, is your father in law over every single Saturday" to which I replied, "Don't get me started on this please...and if its not on a Saturday its on the Sunday." My friend looked at me as if she was scared. Seriously, how many people actually have their inlaws at their house EVERY SINGLE FREAKING weekend? A little while later another friend came over and as we were sitting in the backyard enjoying an iced coffee and talking about everything under the sun (ie, people we dont really like) the other girl goes, "Your father in law is here again right?! And he was here last Saturday too.....and....was he over the Saturday before that?" The friend who asked me earlier basically answered for me, "Dude, don't get her started."

This morning I wake up and as I'm feeding the baby, making my coffee, and unloading the dishwasher I tell my husband what transpired. He was like "well what the heck is that supposed to mean. Does he honestly bother you that much Jenny." I told him that while no his father doesn't bother me in the sense that he gets in my way it DOES in fact bother me that every weekend my plans have to be either in the morning or in the evening because his dad will be here in the afternoon. We basically have to plan our day around a trip to Montreal and back... There is no being spontaneous, there is no day long trips to the zoo, the park, a picnic, or a trip to the US.Yesterday my father in law came over to my house and spent about 2 hours in the backyard by himself. Wait what? Why complain that you are alone all week long and when we bring you up to our house you spend time alone anyway!? Makes no freaking sense to me but I have learned that my weekend has to revolve around my father in law because....

My brother in law and his wife are fucking useless. Yes, I did just say that. I said that on the world wide interweb so that everyone can know! When it comes to my father in law, my brother in law doesn't give a flying fuck, my sister in law doesn't give a flying fuck either. I mean why should they? My husband and I are the idiots who have allowed ourselves to be walked all over by his brother and wife. Wait, let me rephrase that. My husband has allowed US to be walked all over. Why? He's a bleeding heart and on one hand I can totally understand it. He feels bad for his dad. It sucks that he is alone all week long because we all work and are busy. But why is my husband the only one who cares? I don't give a damn if my brother in law moved out of his parents house when he was only 23 years old. Does that mean he loves his parents less? I mean, my sister and I both left Texas when we were 18 and I don't think it means we love our parents less than someone else who lived at home until they were 32 or whatever. If you FEEL for your parents and you LOVE your parents you will do whatever you can to make them comfortable in their old age and to SHOW that love.

I've spoken to my husband many times how I don't think its fair that we are the only ones who have our lives interrupted by my father in law. I've spoken to my sister in law many times about I'm beyond frustrated because I have my father in law all the time. We had come up with a plan. Every other weekend. We'd bring the father in law up one weekend and get a break the next weekend because he'd be at my brother in laws house. I think that plan lasted all of 3 weeks. I mean of course, my brother in law was very busy golfing, then looking for ideas of a resto to open, then he found one and of course it needed to be updated, then open, and now operated. My sister in law couldn't be bothered because, well, she has a weekly hair appointment, she wants to go see her friends, she wants to live HER life. Jeez, I wonder what that is like. To live my own life without giving a fuck about other people?

What I don't understand is do they not see how selfish and self centered they are? My mother in law died a few months after hubby and I married. It was hard on him because he was very close to his mother. All of a sudden I inherited a father in law. Every single weekend. My brother in law never offered to bring his dad up, my sister in law never offered to take her father in law out for lunch or something. They never offered us a weekend off. We were newly married and had a thorn in our sides from the get go. Hubby's dad was over every single weekend. We had to go out of town to be able to get a weekend away from the father in law and of course while we were gone his brother and sister in law never offered to step up and bring the dad anywhere.

Then I got pregnant and didn't even get to enjoy being home on bed rest in nothing but a bra and underwear because well, my father in law was over every single weekend. My brother in law and his wife never offered to step up and help out so we can just enjoy the moment.

Then I had my daughter. Do you think I got to enjoy being a new mom? Do you think I got to enjoy my new little family? NO of course not. Why? Because I had my father in law over here every single god damn mother fucking weekend! (Yes that did require so many curse words). There are no intimate little family outings, there is no enjoying just us. I work Monday thru Friday. I come home and play with baby, feed baby, put baby to sleep. The weekend is where I'd like to do things with my husband and daughter but I can't. Why not? Because I have the father in law. I always have the father in law. Of course now he wants to be here more often because he wants to see the baby. He wants to enjoy her, he wants to experience her.

I've spoken to my sister in law about this before. I told her woman to woman that eventually my father in law was going drive a wedge between my husband and I. I am not the type of person to sit by and idly watch my life pass me by. I AM the type of person who will throw the towel in, pack my stuff and my baby's stuff and go back home. To Texas. I will one day leave my husband whom I love dearly because I cannot have my father in law here every weekend. It's not that my father in law gets in my way its just that...well...simply put...I don't NEED someone here every weekend. I want my OWN little family. I don't need an extension on a weekly basis. My sister in law doesn't accept any of the blame, instead she tells me that it is my husband's fault for allowing his dad over every weekend.

You know what? Because I am a logical person, I do understand how that can be. It is partially hubby's fault. He doesn't put his foot down and he feels bad telling his dad that he is busy. BUT he feels bad because he knows that his brother and his wife will NOT step up and bring the father in law up to Laval for a few hours or take him out to lunch/dinner. Hubby doesn't want to KNOW that his dad is alone and lonely and bitching and moaning (because if we are being honest if hubby doesn't bring him up he bitches and moans and complains and says no one cares for him).

I've asked my husband many times to talk to his side of the family about helping out with his dad. He always tells me "Jen just let it get to the point I want it to...I will handle it" Sorry honey but your method of handling it only gets me more frustrated, more angry, and to the point that I want to wrangle up every member of your family and give them a bitch slap with my beautiful Prada boots. When my sister in law comes back from her month long vacation to the condo that my father in law paid for and wasn't invited to go to..... I told my husband I want a family meeting and I will do the talking. I told my husband not to pull the typical "Greek manly" thing and tell the wife not to talk because I will talk. I will speak and I will be heard. He asked me, "Jen you can talk all you want but please be respectful". I told him I plan on being respectful but to the point. My speech will basically end with, "How come people who come over randomly are able to notice that the father in law is here every single weekend but you don't? Oh that is right, you are selfish and see it but don't give a damn."

I'm not joking when I say this but my in-laws lack of caring and helping will ultimately be the only reason my marriage will fail. I did not get married and sign up for inheriting a live in father in-law. I don't care if its weekends only, its the ONLY time I have to enjoy my family and I don't get to enjoy them because I have HIM all the time.

While I don't hate my brother in law and his wife I have absolutely no respect for them.

I'm going to Blogher 2012

2011-08-06T10:39:00.000-05:00

I want to kick myself in the ass. Seriously. Maybe if one of you would like to come up here and kick me in the ass, or to make your life easier, my husband has already volunteered to kick me in the ass. For the past two Bloghers I've been like "Can you STFU already about it" or "What the crap is so special about it" and other things of the sort. This year I actually read a few blogs about Blogher, I've spoken to a lot of people that were attending or had attended in past years and I decided it would be a great opportunity to go.

I am not delusional and think that my trip will be sponsored by anyone other than my darling husband and myself. Yeah, we'll sponsor me all the way. :) Hey, if someone wants to sponsor my blog without asking me to be nicer or whatever than more power to them.

Anyway, yesterday morning I was talking to my husband about Blogher and how it was in San Diego this year and how I'd like to go to one if it ever came back to the East Coast. Later on in the day it was announced that BlogHer12 was going to be in New York City! I was so excited. I spoke to my husband and gave him a run down on the costs of going (I sort of over estimated, I thought tickets just to the conference were like 500-600$ but it turns out its closer to 200-300$), a hotel for 3 or 4 nights, a flight, and of course cab money. I figured out at least 2 roommates for sure and the third is still up in the air.

There are so many interesting bloggers that I can't wait to meet, can't wait to hug, and yes, I'm sure there will be a few I'd like to spit on or accidentally spill a drink on but hey...at least I'm honest right? We can't like EVERYONE!

Are you going to blogher12? Could you care less? Have you gone to a past blog her and did you like it? Hate it?

Conversations with my sister in law

2011-08-03T22:07:00.000-05:00

First of all, I want to say sorry for just dropping off the face of the earth. It really does feel like there isn't enough time in each day to do everything that I say I would like to do. I make a list of things I want to blog about and sort of just don't get to it by the time I have some "me" time. After I put D to bed I just want to unwind by reading a book, watching tv, writing or just vegging out. I hate that I put my blog last but sometimes relaxing my brain is the most important thing. :)

That being said I want to let you guys know about this conversation I had with my sister in law that completely blew my mind. Actually, it fucking completely blew my mind. It was THAT mind blowing. Now if you have been following this blog for a while you probably already know that my sister and I do NOT see eye to eye when it comes to parenting and raising children. Seriously its like night and day, hot and cold, sane and insane. I tend to think that I am more on the sane side of things while my sister in law is on the insane side. Why?

Well my sister in law is now in Florida and we had this conversation on Thursday of last week. It kinda came up with, "So are you guys ready for Florida" and her reply was "Yeah most of us are ready." "Oh, who isn't ready yet?" She went on to mention how her sister had booked the tickets out of the wrong airport and that her son's girlfriend would be joining them.

Now I'm really sorry, call me old fashioned, call me stupid, call me whatever in the hell you want to call me but bringing your 16 year old son's 15 or 16 year old girlfriend on vacation with you to another country is just insane. It's really really fucking stupid if you ask me. I mean, taking a girlfriend on a vacation is a huge responsibility, especially taking a girlfriend on vacation in another country. I still find it incredible that the girlfriends parents ALLOWED her to go on vacation with her boyfriend.

Then what floored me was this comment from my sister in law: "Well I'm not really happy about it but my son and his cousins wanted her to come." Um excuse me are we seriously allowing a 16 year old BOY and his cousins that don't even live in the house to make decisions in your house? Is this for real?

I spent the following hour telling my sister in law that I thought she was insane, that although I like the girlfriend I do not think that it is appropriate for a girlfriend or boyfriend to go on vacation with the family at that age. It's like throwing them a box of condoms and saying "Yeah, uh, I'll pretend to not know what is happening okay?"

I have a feeling that one day issues that we see on Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant will be a lot more than just on TV for people who believe this is "ok" and "normal".

So how many of you have taken or would consider taking your child's boyfriend/girlfriend on vacation.

The Porn Star Secretary

2011-03-26T10:53:00.000-05:00

So the other day I check my email from my phone. There was an email that must have been forwarded 10,000 times as I kept reading comments like, "Oh my gosh. How disgusting. I'd be enraged if this happened at my child's school." "Why suspended with pay they should have fired her." And things of that sort. The subject of the email was "Can you believe it"? I get to the bottom of the email and there is a link. Great. I decided not to read it until I could check my email from home because these are usual videos or something.

When I get home I went to the computer and click on the link. It brought me to the following news article about a secretary at a school in Quebec in which a secretary was suspended for two weeks with pay because she used to be an internet porn actress. The school board has two weeks to decide if they should fire her or not and she has worked there with no incidents for the past two years.

I read the article and re-read the article trying to understand where everyone's outrage was coming from. Why is everyone so upset? How could everyone just judge this woman and think that firing her is the solution. Maybe she is a single mother who was struggling to make ends meet and couldn't put food on the table without doing some porn. Sure, maybe you wouldn't do porn if you were in this position, maybe you would get a job flipping burgers at a McDonalds...that isn't the point. The point is that this woman did what she felt she had to do in order to make a living.

I wrote an email back to everyone, yeah I hate those people who Reply All but I felt everyone had to read my reply, my reply was this:

I don't get the anger. She's an adult working on the side to make money. She ISN'T a teacher and to boot, its on an ADULT site. Therefore the PARENTS aren't doing their job if their children are navigating to those types of websites. If you can't monitor what your kid does online then the issue is much deeper than a school employee being an adult film actress.

Everyone seemed to have missed the point that this woman was an ADULT. That these videos were on an ADULT website. The children in the school she worked technically shouldn't have access to websites like that. (In Quebec a high school considered grade 7 to 11, therefore roughly 12 to 17 MAX). This woman broke NO laws.

So later on that evening my sister in law (who originally sent me the email) called me to let me know that she really didn't understand how I couldn't be upset over this. I said it was simple, an adult woman chose to make a decision in star in adult videos. She isn't affecting my life or my child's life in any way and shouldn't lose her job over that. She came back with something that blew me out of the water. "Yeah well I bet you that woman saw a pretty girl in the school and told her, 'Hey if you want to make some money I have an offer for you' and then proceed to offer her a job in a porn." I was floored. Really? So the article says she broke no laws (I'm fairly certain that offering a MINOR a job in a porn is breaking some sort of law) and in the time that she had been working for the school did nothing to raise any flags. I told my sister in law that making assumptions like that make an ass out of her. Let's be honest, if I had to do something like sell my body to put food on my table, I wouldn't want to recruit a child into that industry....I'd try to SHIELD a child from that!

I told her a story of a girl in high school who got pregnant and knew her parents would flip. You know what she did? She claimed she was RAPED ON CAMPUS during a Saturday practice in a locker bank. Yeah, she did that. In the end it came out that she wasn't raped and that she lied, and they pressed charges against her for filing a false report. So yeah, its really possible that NOW after this secretary is exposed someone can make up a lie and be like "Oh she told me to be in a porn with her" but how come no one said anything PRIOR to this? Oh...that is because she DID NOTHING WRONG!!

Another thing I suggested to my sister in law was this: Someone we both know, a father of three, was convicted of drinking and driving. His license was suspended for a period of time, he has a breathalyser in his car, and isn't allowed to cross the border into the United States. Would it be fair one of his kid's friends's parent to say, "Oh sweetie you can't go to THAT friend's house because her father is an alcoholic and offers alcoholic drinks to underage kids....and the only reason that your friend goes to school is so that she can make friends with kids and bring them home to create more alcoholics." Sure sounds stupid when you say it that way right? First of all just because someone drinks and drives doesn't make them an alcoholic, it means someone made a mistake. It could be that they ARE an alcoholic, it could be that they didn't realize how much they drank, it could be that they do it all the time and this is the only time they got caught...it could be many things. Secondly, just because someone is convicted of drinking and driving (or just because someone is an alcoholic) does NOT mean that they offer alcohol to minors. Doing harm to yourself doesn't mean you want to do harm to others....its a completely different story if they are drinking and driving with their families in their car! Thirdly, the kids go to school in order to get an education, not to find future alcoholics!

I got a reply to my email (another reply all) that stated:

I AGREE WITH JENNY ON THIS ONE…………….SHE IS TRYING TO MAKE A LIVING, JUST LIKE THE REST OF US……SHE’S DOING HER JOB AT THE SCHOOL, AND AS JENNY SAID, IF CANNOT MONITOR YOUR CHILDREN AT THAT AGE, THEN YOUR IN TROUBLE!!!!

I said nothing because I knew there would be other replies..... Here came a good one.....

On the topic of secretary and adult porn.........yes, she as an adult has every right to do what she does.....hey, our proffesions sure don't make that kind of money and no one knows her situation.

The only thing is.......when it comes to porn, drugs, etc.......(adult stuff) it should never be around miners........and no teacher/administrator should work with children when you have a shady job! You will see young moms, as your kids grow older.......and they are aware of things like that.....you will do anything to protect htem and to have them sheltered. Yes, we do our best as parents to always know what our kids are watching/going/doing.........but as they grow older.....they find ways.....to do things out of our reach......and you might think that you will always know what your kids are doing........BUT they will always find a way........Mothers with teenage kids and older.......know that far too much.

Teenagers especially, are very volrunable........some come from broken homes.....difficult times and a pretedor of any kind......can offer help in a negative setting......after all........this secretary feels that adult movies are ok to do........do we all feel like that? Do we all, no matter how tough our financial situtation are....would we do that???? Not that many of us......we would get a tough job.....like stupid that we are.....just to make an honest living........

You can never say......the state of mind of this secretary and the agency she works for........she was put in a high school setting just to be a pretedor for young girls who are weak.......and you might think that I am paranoid......call it that. I have teenagers.......and I hear horor stories........there are some kids that have to do things......in order to get by......because they have parents.......who don't give a shit........So, if they are offfered something that is promising.....

So ladies......that are my thoughts........and if you have a something in your closet.....go girls go! LOLOLOLOLOL

I found it hard to take that last reply seriously. Let's be honest, you can't spell for shit therefore why in the hell would I take what she has to say seriously? To assume that all teenagers that come from broken homes are vulnerable is stupid. To assume that the secretary was put in a high school to prey on young women is also stupid.

So as it turns out (via on the news therefore I have no link) the secretary decided to QUIT her job at the school and find another job. She NO LONGER did the videos, she had done them many years ago when internet porn was just starting out...she hadn't done one in YEARS AND YEARS! Oh, and although the article states that children in the school were talking about the secretary in the porn videos it doesn't mention how the topic came up.... A PARENT went into the school to take care of some business and HE recognized HER from the videos that HE watched. HE felt uncomfortable with her in his child's school so he told his kid about it and asked his kid to talk about it with his/her friends in order to get the word to spread like wild fire.

So in response to the email above about:

"and a pretedor of any kind......can offer help in a negative setting......after all........this secretary feels that adult movies are ok to do"

As a parent he choose adult movies are okay to watch. Maybe he is a predator to children and maybe he shouldn't be allowed to have children. I mean, what if he leaves porn movies stored on the family computer hard drive and exposes his children to these awful vile things?

So, what do you think? Would you be up in arms about this? Would you want the secretary fired although she broke no laws?

2011-03-16T20:23:00.000-05:00

So here I am. Wednesday night. 9:15pm. Baby is sleeping and I want to blog but I don't have the slightest clue what to blog about. I don't want to write about how the baby is being a brat when it comes to sleeping. I don't want to write about how the fasting is making me slightly insane (dude cut meat out of your diet and all of a sudden your carb intake increases exponentially). I have been wanting to blog for a while but I just don't know what to write about.

Someone give me a suggestion, a prompt, a something...anything.

5 Question Friday

2011-03-04T09:06:00.000-06:00

I'm trying something new today. It's called 5 Question Friday and its brought to you by http://fivecrookedhalos.blogspot.com/.

1. Have you ever forgotten your child in a store or at school?

Baby D is only 10 months old. I haven't lost my mind completely yet. I haven't forgotten her anywhere so far. I don't plan on forgetting her but you never know.

2. Where did you go on your very first date? (Like...first first, not first with your spouse or current significant other!)

Well when B and I first met we were on a group get together. It was my friends meeting my best friend's brother's friends. We all went for a walk on the lake. It wasn't a real date so...first REAL date. We went to the Sundance movie theatre in downtown Fort Worth to see a movie.

3. What's your "silly" fear? (We're not talking water and heights.)

I call this one my irrational fear. Seriously, its stupid. I have a fear of driving and drinking something (bottle of water) and while breaking for a red light or stop sign I get rear ended and choke and die. Yeah, I actually think that will happen. No it doesn't stop me from drinking in the car although I never drink while breaking...EVER

4. Confrontation: do you cause it, deal with is as it comes, or run far far away?

I totally deal with it head on. Always. I don't tippy toe around anything. So far it has worked out great for me. I deal with issues as they come up, my friends and family know thats how I deal with it (and then blog about it).

5. Wood floors or carpet?

My house has wood floors plus ceramic tiles. It depends on the room. I hate kitchens with wood floors and carpet, I hate bedrooms with carpet (unless its a kids room)....my sister in laws bathroom has carpet. Eww how can you carpet a bathroom? Living room, family room, dining room, and bedrooms should have wood floors (with area rugs where needed), bathrooms and kitchen should have a ceramic tile. I personally find both of those floor types easier to clean vs carpet. I hate carpet.

Dining Experience Gone Way Way Wrong

2011-02-20T14:44:00.000-06:00

I could start off this post with a big fat lie and say something along the lines of "I'm not one to complain" but we'd all know that I'd be lying to you. I do complain. Isn't that why you people even bother to read this blog?

Last night had to go down in the books as the worst dining experience EVER. Seriously, my sister who NEVER complains or sends food back complained. In fact during her complaint I think she dropped the F-Bomb about 15 times....more on that later.

Let me give you a little history on this place. Last year we went to Sterlings Restaurant in Laval for my brother in laws birthday. We had reservations for 7:00pm. My husband and I were the first to arrive (very unusual, he always makes us run late) and I go to the hostess stand and inform them that we have arrived. They tell us "Just a minute while we prepare your table". Uh what the heck is the point of a reservation? Anyway, we take a seat at their waiting area and we wait for the rest of our party to arrive anyway. We were only 6 people. The rest of the group arrives and our table is still not ready. I go back to the hostess and ask her what exactly is the point of a reservation if I show up ON TIME and my table is not ready and its now 20 minutes past and I'm still waiting.. She had no answer. My brother in law got on his cell phone to call the owner of another restaurant near by to see if we could be seated there as we were HUNGRY. The other place was packed. Finally, 45 minutes later we are seated. We are seated at a MAKE SHIFT table in the bar. Yes, the bar DOES have tables but not this table. You can tell this table was just thrown there to appease us. It was in the way of everything and we kept having to scoot our chairs out of the way. It was horrible. The floor manager said he's comp our drinks. I rolled my eyes. The food was spectacular. My husband LOVES this place. We actually go pretty often, just the two of us, on a random Tuesday night. We've never been disappointed.

The end of the night arrives and guess what. Our drinks weren't comped. Now what are you supposed to do? "Excuse me you said you'd give me a free round of drinks?" We just shut our mouths, paid the bill, and went on with our wonderful lives.

Fast forward to a year later. It is a friends birthday and his wife organized for all of us to go to Sterlings. Although last time their timing wasn't the greatest the food rocks. Seriously. Try the Prime Rib there. George and I are the first to arrive again (maybe that is what started the whole night off wrong). I go to the hostess table and inform them that we are here and have a 7:30pm reservation either under the name Nicole or Rody. The hostess and floor manager look at me as if I have 4 heads. Again I say Nicole OR Rody. The floor manager says "Follow me".

We walk past the bar, past the kitchen to the main dining room. He stops short of actually entering the dining room and says, "Second table on the left..." So I look around. Second table on the left is a round table set for 6 people. Perfect. We go sit down. A few minutes later the floor manager comes back and says "Sorry this table is reserved. Your party is already here," and he points to a larger table next to us filled with strangers. I say, "No we are not with them. This table is reserved for us." He says "But the Nicholas party is there." Okay thats great, I'm not with Nicholas. Again I say NICOLE OR RODY. He says we can keep the table either way...As if he is doing me a favor. The table was reserved for us to begin with just because those half wits can't read their own reservation chart....

So by 7:38 we are all seated. My sister and her husband have arrived, Nicole and her husband have arrived. We are all looking over the menu. The prime rib here is so good that it has limited quantities. Seriously. It's written on the menu. As the waitress takes our DRINK order my husband asks, "Do you still have prime rib available" and she said "Yes". Perfect. We place our order for our food as soon as we get our drinks. All the men wanted prime rib, I wanted Chilean sea bass, Nicole and my sister order filet mignon. Perfect.

We are sitting around for 30 minutes just drinking our drinks and munching on bread and butter (and I'm insisting they not eat so much bread because we ordered A LOT. We each got an appetizer and a main meal). Our waitress comes back (with no food) and says "I'm sorry I have some bad news but we do not have any more Prime Rib. The kitchen has just informed me". Excuse me? We asked for this over 30 minutes ago. It took over 30 minutes for the kitchen to be like "hey...no more prime rib okay?" I'm calling bullshit.

I tried to think of it logically. The waitress probably entered our appetizers into the computer first and then our main meal. I mean if you punch them at the same time the food will all be ready at the same time and that isn't right.....But its not what happened. I mean if that were the case you would have realized this WHILE we were eating our appetizer but we aren't. Have you even freaking punched in any part of our order?

My husband is now upset because it is the ONLY thing he eats from that restaurant. The birthday boy in a huge huff was like, "Just charge us for our drinks and we are leaving". My sister and I are like, "Um they have really good things on the menu that aren't prime rib" and my brother in law is very upset because he wanted that prime rib. The waitress saw the looks on our faces and obviously heard the comments and immediately went to get the owner. The owner apologized for the mix up and said he's comp our drinks. I rolled my eyes at that one. My brother in law flatly tells the owner that besides the prime rib the steak at this place sucks. He's tried it before and was less than impressed. I tried to tell the birthday boy and my brother in law that I've had a few things from the menu that I liked a lot to offer some suggestions. The owner insists that my brother in law order the filet mignon and if he doesn't like it he doesn't have to pay for it. My brother in law agrees.

So now this is what we ordered.
Me - Chilean Sea Bass
Husband - Veal Chop (cooked medium)
Sister - 8oz filet mignon (cooked medium)
Best Friend - 8 oz filet mignon (cooked medium)
Birthday Boy - Chicken breast
Brother in law - 12 oz filet mignon (cooked medium)

This is what we received.

Me - Chilean Sea Bass
Husband - Veal Chop (cooked medium)
Sister - 8 oz filet mignon (cooked BLUE, in other words NOT COOKED)
Best friend - 8 oz filet mignon (cooked medium)
Birthday boy - Chicken Breast
Brother in law - 8oz filet mignon (cooked medium) (Yes 8oz instead of the 12 that was ordered)

At first my sisters steak was okay. In fact I made a joke that from the outside it was dry. The first few bites were medium and then it just got uncooked. It was disgusting. In fact it was cold. My brother in law was looking at his plate saying it wasn't a 12 oz. He's like "This has to be an 8oz". We asked the guy who brought the food and he said it was 12oz. Our waitress comes back to us and informs us that she heard 8oz when he ordered therefore it is an 8oz not a 12oz. That's bullshit. My brother in law ordered his meal in french since that was the waitresses first language. I heard him say 12 because I heard the word DOUZE a few times. In fact I thought he had ordered the filet mignon with DEUX shrimp. I knew that the number 2 was involved. (At this point we hadn't realized my sister's steak was raw, she eats slow).

Then she starts to poke at her food and audible moos come from it. She's disgusted and I'm very happy I am eating fish. Her and her husband trade plates because he says its not blue, its just medium. It's totally not medium. It's raw. If my husband won't eat it then its raw. The waitress comes to ask "Is everything okay here" and you hear 6 voices in unison say "NO!" She looks very taken back.

Birthday boy basically verbally attacks the waitress and that is where I chime in and say "It's not her fault that the kitchen ran out of prime rib or undercooked the meat. It is her fault for ordering the wrong portion size." Again she insists that she heard only 8 oz for my brother in law. But she is very sorry for my sister's steak. She walks away. The owner comes up to speak to us to see what is wrong and at this point my sister is about to fly off the lid so she goes out for a smoke. The owner tries to tell her he will fix her meal, give her something else to which she replied, "I don't want anything from you. I'm never coming here again."

The owner walks away unable to do anything. The waitress avoids our table. My sister returns from her smoke and now the floor manager walks by and causally asks, "How are things" and best friend replies, "You don't want to know, just walk away." He didn't walk away. He tried to listen to 5 people explain at the same time. I say 5 because my husband hates confrontation and walked away when I opened my mouth. It's usually not pretty when I complain.

My sister decided to explain to the floor manager what happened starting with last year. She used the following phrases, "last year we got fucked" "even though we got fucked we came back" "and then we fucking hear" "and again we were fucked" "and now I'm fucked" "I'm never fucking coming back" "I've fucking had enough" and a few other variations that I can't recall at the moment. She did drop the F bomb at least 15 times.

At this point I explain everything to the floor manager excluding what happened last year and excluding the word fuck. I expressed our dissatisfaction, how we were upset to learn about the prime rib, and how after informing us that there was no more prime rib after SPECIFICALLY requesting it that our table should have been our waitresses and the kitchens top priority. Like, if you have to mess up on an order don't let it be our table. The owner had come to our table BEFORE our meals arrived. It should have been a clue to step up your game. His response floored me, "But its a Saturday night and we are busy." It was my turn to look at HIM as if he had 4 heads. I responded, "Yeah Saturday happens once a week. You should be used to it by now." He said he had a big group come in and they ordered a lot of prime rib and yadda yadda. I explained that we were also a group, a group of 6. If your restaurant consistently runs out of a specific cut of meat every Saturday do you not decide as management to inform the owner that there is always a shortage and maybe just maybe you should order more of that particular cut? He had no response.

He apologized and offered us a 50$ gift certificate per couple and explained that our coffee and dessert were complimentary. As soon as he leaves the owner comes back and speaks to us to find out what went wrong and explain that every Saturday they cook 4 prime ribs. Some weeks they run out, some weeks they throw them away. Uh, cook 5. But you know what. He's smart. Their entire staff is probably trained to always answer "Yes we do have prime rib". Take the order. How many people per party will order the prime rib? It's not always 100%. Ours was 50-50. By the time you are informed of their shortage you have already had a drink and started your appetizers. How many people are going to get up and leave versus staying? 2-98%? He knows he isn't going to lose the customer the majority of the time so why buy more meat that you'll throw away? He's basically converting those lost prime rib sales into other meals that would have been thrown out at the end of the night. Fuckin smart thinking man!

So my husband and the owner are now talking. George explains to him what happened last year and the owner looks embarrassed. He's heard this story before. The accountant that my husband uses for his company is the same one that this guy uses. After our last dining experience my husband just mentioned it in passing to his accountant. The accountant called the owner (while in front of my husband) and the owner was like, "oh my god. I'm so sorry. Tell them to come back and I'll make sure to take care of everything." We never went back because we aren't all about getting free food. We just want good service.
We order our coffee, we eat our desserts. We get our bills. I laughed. Once again, our drinks were NOT comped. I told my husband I was going to say something and he was like "you are going to complain about 15$." Yes because its times 3 couples therefore its 45$ and they said they would be comped. Everything has been shitty from the start of the night! He wouldn't let me complain. He pointed out that we did get a 50$ gift certificate per couple, we did get our coffees and desserts comped and to just leave it be.

The owner also told us next time we come to ask for him personally and he'll take good care of us. They also comped my sister's raw filet mignon. I told the owner that I personally will not come back on a Saturday night. I've never had any problems going on a Tuesday night and I would do my best to convince the rest of the group to try it again on a random week night.

Overall here is my opinion on the food that was edible:

Grilled Octopus - Tasted great but they should have used red onion not white to garnish the dish. Not a big enough serving of it to charge $14

Fried Calmari - It was okay. Nothing to write home about.

Grilled Merguez Sausage - Not my cup of tea.

Greek Salad - Very good. They don't use the cheap feta, its actually REAL feta. Still not enough of a portion to charge $15 for.

House Salad - Whatever. It's a house salad. You can't really screw that up.

Chilean Sea Bass - It was good. Not the best I've ever had and not the worst either. It was good but seriously for $33 I would expect more than a 4 to 6 oz cut of fish. Seriously. I would rather make it at home for that size.

Veal Chop with Port Reduction Sauce - AMAZING. No complaints from me or my hubs.

Grilled Chicken Breast - Birthday boy was impressed. Said it was very good.

Filet Mignon (cooked properly) - Very good. It's their second specialty dish

Letter # 12: Letter to the Person You Hate / Caused You the Most Pain

2011-02-07T09:36:00.000-06:00

Dear Person I Hate,

I don't really know if I hate you but I certainly know that I don't like you. You were an epic pain in my ass. Seriously. Never had I met a loser as big as you and I guess that says something about my judgement.

See, I gossip a lot but I NEVER start a rumor. If I'm gonna spread a rumor I'm going to make sure that its true first. I don't just randomly start talking shit about people without checking the facts and I guess that is where you screwed up. You tried to start a rumor about me and people decided to check the facts first. We went to Homecoming together and you decided to lie and tell people you slept with me. Seriously?

I'm not sorry that you told the guys on the wrestling team that lie. I'm not sorry that the team worked you extra hard that practice. I'm not sorry that Derryan, Billy, and J.J. kicked your ass. I'm not sorry that Randy threatened to come from Wyoming to put your ass in place (I'll never forget him asking me if I wanted your body with holes in it or chopped into little pieces), I'm not sorry that you felt the need to transfer schools after that.

I really shouldn't hate you but in the end it was all very funny. You tried to tell people that you slept with me, it was a lie, and you got your ass handed to you. In the end you fared much worse than I did. Your rumor didn't get to go too far because you decided to start it among the team first. The team squashed that rumor before it left our walls. Funny how your little plan back fired. I'm sorry I rejected you, I'm sorry you felt the need to start a rumor but I guess you learned the hard way what happens when you lie.

Funny enough, if that is the worst thing that has ever happened to me then I guess I'm doing pretty good in my life. :) Thanks for being a jack ass and giving me something to write about.

XOXO
-Jenny

Day 10: A Letter to Someone You Don't Talk to as Much as You'd Like to.

2011-02-04T17:08:00.000-06:00

Dear Friend,

I don't know what happened between the two of us. We used to be so close, we used to be inseparable and then suddenly we barely talk, we barely text, we barely see each other. At first I thought the problem was me. I was moving on with my life, I got married, I moved into another suburb and you were still in school, still at home, still single.

I tried, I really did, to always include you in everything I did. It was just too hard for you to come to my house or I was too busy up where I live. Things always got in the way but we both tried to make the friendship work. Then something interesting happened.

You got a boyfriend and suddenly you were missing in action. We would only see you at big events, we would never see you out for a coffee or anything. I know that you had gotten your heart broken in the past but you did what you always do which is pour all of your heart and soul into a relationship. All of your energy went there and you forgot about your real friends.

I don't know if you ever noticed but when you would start dating someone you would ALWAYS forget about your friends. You would go out with the new guy and all of his friends never inviting your friends along (My sister and I started noticing this right around the time you were interested in dating FN). He'd invite you out to where we ALL hung out but you never called us to invite us to go. When he wasn't busy you would call us to hang out. You'd tell us about the fun you had with him and his friends and we were happy for you. We were thrilled that you were dating someone but it kind of sucked that you kept you friends away from your love interest.

Then A happened. We all know why you kept him away from us. (Sorry but its totally true!) He broke your heart and when he came back you still insisted on talking to him, you still insisted on giving him a chance. Something none of your friends thought he deserved.

Now that you are dating B you did the same thing. You have thrown every spare moment of your life into that relationship completely forgetting about you friends. You have gone out with him and his friends, him and his family never once stopping to say "Hey I wonder if my friends would want to come." Our friendship has become very strained.

It's odd. It feels odd having events without you there but it also feels odd to invite you there. It feels as if its a "gift grab" by inviting you because that is the ONLY time we see you .

I seriously wish things were different but I guess the age old expression fits in perfectly here...."It is what it is".

Letter #9: A Letter to Someone I Wish I Could Meet

2011-01-19T21:30:00.000-06:00

My Dearest Paul Walker --

I have to get something out in the open. I love you. No, really, its true. I have loved you since as long as I can remember. You won me over on Young & The Restless as Brandon Collins, captured my heart in Pleasantville, and have kept me throughly entertained since then. I have to admit, and I'll only say this because I love you, you picked some flops. What were you thinking when you signed on for Time Line? How about The Lazarus Project. I actually tried watching it 5 times before I was able to stay awake long enough to watch the entire movie. The Life and Death of Bobby Z? I only bought that DVD because you were on the cover. Thank God you are beautiful....

I need you to know something. I'm married. No, it shouldn't scare you off Paul. My husband is aware that there is only one man I will leave him for...you. He KNOWS about my undying love for you. No..its not a sign of a habit I will develop in cheating. You are the only person I would cheat FOR therefore I would never cheat on you.

Please don't listen to my friends when they tell you that they love you more than I do. It's not true. I love you more than you will ever know.

I'm coming to Los Angeles in the next couple of years. I think we should meet up for a coffee. I'd love to get to know Meadow as well. She certainly is a cutie ad I think after so many years she wouldn't mind a step sister. ;)

Let me know if you're free.

Love you!

XOXO

Jenny

Letter #8: My Favorite Internet Friend

2011-01-18T22:22:00.001-06:00

Dear Dirty Dog (Internet Friend),

Funny how things can change eh? You and I started as nothing more than mere strangers on the internet. We used to chat on a funny website called Greektown connecting all us Greeks together. Montreal, Ottawa, Toronto, Chicago, Texas, Greece, Australia and God knows where else.

We hit it off in the chat room and on the forum and we moved our chitter chatter to ICQ and eventually MSN. It was great. You and I could talk for hours and hours. We moved to the phone. It was even better. You made me laugh so much.

Somewhere along the line you and I had made a pact that if I hit 27 and you 30 and we were unmarried we'd get married. I think we made that pact before we even met.

Kopro, you are and will forever be my unicorn. You know, that mythical creature that no one can ever catch. Sometimes I wonder if you are real or just a figment of my imagination and then I remember the good times we had when you would come to Montreal or I'd go to Toronto.

I remember you getting me good and drunk and then feeling very bad for me when I was vomiting in the club (and yelling at the singer that I was better than her), you managing to not only hit me in the head with a vaacumm cleaner but also finding a way to get all the dust to fly in my face, going for coffee to have my cup read and you ruining the aura by sticking your thumb in it!

Our good times were amazingly good times. I believe that you are my soul mate Kopro. Seriously. No, not that typical Hollywood bullshit type of soul mate but the "you were brought into my life in order to help make me a better person". I honestly couldn't imagine my life without you in it.

At times you just disappear but when you reappear its like we never missed a step. The conversation flows and we pick up where we left off BUT I need you to know that I am very upset about the disappearing act. It's getting old. You can't keep doing it. I always wonder about you. I worry about you.

Anyway. It is sort of hard to write your letter as we chat on MSN. I'm just asking you Peter, stop disappearing on me. Let me know what is going on in your life and what you are up to. I truly miss you and have to make a special trip with George and D to see you.

Here, a few pictures from way back when.

You & Me at Cafe 521

You, Me, and the other Peter. I don't care what you say Kopro, he was totally jealous of you. He was a friend of mine, you are my soul mate. There is NO competition.

You obviously said something very funny. It was probably a comment about my ass. Lord knows that you love my ass. Ha ha.

I'm also very happy that you and I crossed the line from internet friends to real life friends to life long friends.

I love you,

--Jenny

XOXO

Okay, fine... Polexeny...

Letter #7: A Letter to an ExBoyfriend

2011-01-17T22:27:00.000-06:00

Dear Ex-Boyfriend,

I guess I should start out this letter by thanking you. I should thank you a whole bunch of a lot for helping make me the person that I am today. For a long time I thought that without you life pretty much sucked. For a long time I missed you and longed for you and totally hated moving away a few days after my high school graduation. For a long time I let you ruin a good thing when I had it. For a long time I just came to resent you and then of course...I put the resentment in my back pocket and just continued to love you.

I never really understood our relationship B. It was a freaking roller coaster, our highs were super high and our lows were extremely low and the time it took to get from up to down was short. Both of us had a temper that didn't take too long to flare up and took forever to calm down. You and I were never destined to be together. You know when you just meet someone and know that they were brought into your life for a good reason? I do not know what God was thinking when he had the two of us meet. Even our meeting was a complete fluke. Our relationship was just never meant to happen but you and I just went against all odds. We didn't listen to our mutual friends when they told us how bad we were together. We both chalked up their opinions to "They are just jealous" "They didn't want us to meet because he wanted to date you...she wanted to date you..." (Let's be honest though, that was totally part of the reason. I know. Years later it was admitted to me by BOTH parties. She wanted you, he wanted me), and other stupidities. You know how sometimes you can't really see what is wrong because you are smack dab in the middle? Well when you are an outsider you have a perfect view. People saw that two people like you and I should not date. We thought they were crazy because we were obviously passionate about one another and about our relationship.

The downfall to our relationship was your jealous and my indifference towards that jealousy. You had graduated high school 4 years earlier and had a job. We didn't get to spend those school hours together that most people my age did. I mean we didn't get to walk each other to class and hold hands in the hallways, go to lunch together, or drive home together. When school let out for the day you were still at work. When you were off of work my parents were home and we all know how much my parents LOVED you and let me spend time with you. Basically we could only sneak around on the weekends...after I finished work at my parents place...or after school let out on your break from work.

We did everything we could to spend time together and we had a blast together...when we weren't fighting. But if we are being honest with each other we have to admit that you and I had some hilarious times together too. Like, how about when I fell into a mini hole the first night we met (talk about lasting impressions), you showing up 45 minutes late on our first date that my parents KNEW about (what is that I said about impressions), having to hide out at the lake when we were there after hours...therefore making me come home past my curfew (see why my parents loved you so much?), making out at the stop light and not realizing when the light turned green and everyone honking at us, you coming to my window in the middle of the night just for a kiss... Oh yes. We shared a lot of laughs and giggles. But then again all the times we'd fight because of the after school practices with the wrestling team, the fact that most of my friends were guys (did you forget that our relationship alienated me from two of my best girlfriends?!), and of course the lack of time spent together because of my parents not approving of our relationship.

Looking back on everything I see that out of the two of us I made the most sacrifices. I lost my best friends for a while (after dating you and moving away there wasn't much left to salvage), I fought with my parents (mainly mom) all the time, and I just stopped feeling like I was me. You didn't really give up much. Your friends adored me (and warned me against dating you), your mother loved me (although I'm not sure a 2am meeting is the proper time to meet your boyfriends mom) as did your little brother. I was good to you. A lot better than you were too me. I tried so many times to easy your jealousy. I tried to get you to come to a wrestling match to meet the guys so you could see that we were all just very good friends (truth is they didn't want to meet you either). I tried to get you to understand that while my parents disapproving of you made no sense in OUR world they did it for their reasons...

Life got hard for me B. Really hard. I felt like I had to choose between my family and you. Between my friends and you. It was always something versus you. That should have been sign enough that you weren't for me but it wasn't.

Graduation was nearing and I had a choice to make. I could take a full scholarship to the University of Miami and be with you since that is where you were going for your music program (and lose my parents since they'd essentially disown me since its not what they wanted for me) or move to Montreal which would mean that I would lose you and keep my family happy in in tact. I didn't tell you I was leaving. I'm sorry about that, really, I'm sorry. I called you up one day after graduation and told you I needed some time. I had a big decision to make and just needed time. What I didn't tell you was that my bags were packed and my ticket was purchased. The next time you heard from me I was in Montreal. I made a choice. My family just meant more to me.

I think because I just left you high and dry that I felt guilty. B, you have no idea how many times I cried myself to sleep missing you. Missing your arms around me, missing your kisses, missing all of you. No matter how insanely stupid our relationship was I really did feel safe when I was with you. You were really mad at me, understandably so, and refused to talk to me for a long time. Funny thing though, everytime you'd decide to call me, email me, ICQ me or whatever it was when I was just getting to know a new guy. It's like you just had a "Jenny is over me" sensor and you'd have to interfere. My guilt for leaving you always kicked in and I'd abandon my thoughts of dating whatever guy I was getting to know. I'd come home from my college classes and talk to you on the phone, I'd stay up late every night and we'd talk. It's like we were long distance dating without ever really saying that is what we were doing. I kept coming back to Texas for visits and our roller coaster relationship continued. You tried to convince me to move back. I refused. We'd fight. We'd make up. I came back to Montreal. You disappeared. Repeat cycle for about 3 years.

Why did I feel so guilty? I guess its because while I was trying to move on our friends would tell me that you weren't. That you still read the letters I had written you while I was bored in class so many years ago. That my picture was still framed in your room. That you were still stuck in 1999 while I had moved on. I'm sorry about that but I couldn't really change things. Try putting yourself in my shoes.

I thought about it a lot. I thought about what would happen if I had gone to Florida with you. This would have been my life. Living on campus for the first year, living with you in an apartment after that, probably dropping out of school because I was pregnant. Then we'd accidentally have a second one. 3 years later I'd be alone because our relationship would have completely fizzled. I'm saying that all of that would have happened in three years if not sooner. I would have eventually tired of your jealousy and fights would ensue. We'd wake up one day and be like "Fuck me. What did I do." For that, I'm not sorry. I think my life turned out pretty good and I can only hope that yours turned out like that too.

How odd that a few years ago I was in Texas visiting my parents when you came to their store and I was there? I swear I just stood there staring at you in awe wondering if you recognized the woman I had become because she was so different from the girl that moved away. I almost thought it wasn't you. I kept telling myself, "if he turns around and there is a tattoo on the back of his neck it IS B. I'm not imagining it." There was a tattoo. At the exact same second we both said each other's name. It was great to see you. I was happy to see you actually. I had lost complete touch with you and had no idea what was going on with you. I didn't know if you were still in Texas or had moved...

Talking to you was great. I was happy to hear that your girlfriend was pregnant. I was happy to hear that you'd gotten a job in the industry you wanted to break into. I was genuinely happy for you. I'm sorry that I couldn't bring myself to go have lunch with you. It's not that I was afraid of what could have happened or getting feelings for you again. Its just that....well...I sort of liked having you in the past and that is where I wanted to keep you. I didn't want to mix you with my present or the future. You were my first love and you taught me a lot about love. You taught me what normal, healthy, happy relationships should be like....the complete opposite of what we had. I'm not saying I was never happy with you because I was happy with you. Really. I was. I just know NOW that I could have been happier, we could have been healthier together, we could have been normal. We weren't and that was a stepping stone for me.

B, I just want to let you know that a little part of my heart will always belong to you. A woman never forgets her first love. Never.

XOXO

-Jenny

P.S. What my mom said was, "Don't think I don't know who that is" when we said each others names. She remembered you. She wasn't happy but she didn't ask what we talked about when we walked off together.

Blog Challenge Update

2011-01-17T19:23:00.000-06:00

So if you've noticed I didn't post letters number 6 (to a stranger), 7 (to an exboyfriend) and 8 (favorite internet friend). It's not that I don't want to write them letters. I just really don't have time. I seriously don't get how mommy blog people have time to mommy blog. Woah. Maybe they blog while they ship their kid off to their friends, parents, or maybe even a nanny. Yep. I'm gonna go with nanny.

I have decided that in order to keep my sanity I will NOT be doing the challenges on the weekends. I just don't have time on the weekends. I normally write my posts during D's nap time. If she isn't napping, I'm not writing. Our weekends here are fairly full...and I'm OUT during D's nap time. I have a standing hair appointment every Saturday until my dresser or I shall die....and I will NOT miss those to write a blog post.

So I'll be skipping those letters OR writing them on Monday if I like the topic. :) I know I'm kind of cheating on 30 days of letters...but I promise you'll get a good 25. :)

Letter #5: A Letter to My Dreams

2011-01-14T22:41:00.000-06:00

Today’s letter is being posted late in the day. I know. I’m so sorry. If you don’t have any kids you will quickly learn they take a lot more of your time than you thought they would. Seriously. D is crawling and moving quicker than I thought she would and is 100% hands on!

Moving On, the letter…

Dear Dreams,

Oh my. It’s been a long time since I’ve even thought of you. I never thought that you guys would be on the backburner. Growing up I was sure that you were the front and center. Everything was about YOU! But then something happened. Something changed. It was me. I thought I was changing and leaving you behind but then the funniest thing happened…YOU also changed.

Little did I know that the both of us would change together. Like the Greeks say, “san kolo kai vraki” (like underwear and an ass). One of us would change and the other would accommodate the change. It wasn’t so much a change as it was a shift. Hey, at least we have the best partnership.

I know that I haven’t really paid much attention to you lately but you need to understand that in order for everything between you and me to work out I need a bit of time. I have other things right now that sort of take priority but once everything goes back to normal (or as normal as it can get) then you and I will be right back on track.

Seriously, don’t think I’ve forgotten about you. I’m always thinking of you and making little modifications. Life will be good Dreams, that is one promise I intend to keep. You and I will go very far in life. You and I will be extremely successful. You and I….together this is nothing that the two of us can’t accomplish…and hey, we already got the ball rolling didn’t we?

XOXO –

Jenny

Letter #4: A Letter to my sister

2011-01-14T08:52:00.001-06:00

When I saw who this letter was meant to be written to I thought, oh easy breezy! Guess what. It totally isn't that easy. There is so much to say and not sure of how much I would like for the entire web to read (see how I am assuming my blog is read by a bajillion people!?)

Anyway....here goes nothing!

Dearest Sister,

Oh where to start a letter to someone that I have shared the past 29.678 years with? If anyone on this earth knows me...its you. Sometimes you know me way too well. It's kind of scary. It's like we share the same brain or something.

I just wanted to let you know that I am proud of how you turned out regardless of the road you that got you to where you are. Unlike me, you weren't really afraid to break the rules. You followed the beat of your own drum and did what you needed to go. Sometimes I wish your brain was as big as your heart (and I'm sure you sometimes wish my mouth wasn't as big as my ass...but hey we play the hand we are dealt right?!).

You would give anyone the shirt off your back and while its a great thing, I don't necessarily think its the smartest thing. You are willing to give anyone a chance and you have no problem with forgiveness. That makes you a big person with a great big heart. (And hey, this is the only time I'll admit this...a better person than I am)

Even though you and I have had our ups and downs we always end up in the same place. Together. I couldn't imagine a life where I didn't speak to you daily or see you at least weekly. Growing up I never thought that you and I would be this close to one another. I mean seriously there were some stages in our lives where we were all "get the fuck away from me" and now its like "If you fucking look at her funny I'll break every bone in your sorry ass body". We've seen some of our friends relationships with their siblings fail and that is one place I'd never want to be with you. I love you with all my heart and soul. Life without my sister would be pretty fucking bland.

Anyway, I will end this now because I am TRYING to watch a movie while Demi sleeps AND I am already one day behind in my letters! Sorry its a day late but hey, its better late then never right?

I love you,

XOXOXO

Jenny

Yesterday's Letter tomorrow's topic is Letter to My Dreams

Other's Doing a blog challenge:
Heather @ Tomorrow Starts Today
Tash @ Tashsparkles
Dana @ Undercover Super Mom

This letter was posted a day late. Sorry.

Letter #3: A Letter to my Parents

2011-01-12T21:24:00.002-06:00

First of all, this is my 100th post. C'mon thats freaking awesome. I probably wrote more in 2011 than I did in 2010. Kinda sad and pathetic right?

Well here is my letter.

Dear Mom and Dad,

Gosh where does one start a letter to their parents? It seems like there is so much that can be said but other times I feel as if we've said every thing there is to say. You both know that I love you both very very much and wouldn't change my parents for anything.

Remember how I used to tell you guys that when I had kids I totally wouldn't raise them like you guys raised my sister and me? Well...It's sorta true sorta not.

Now that I am older I realize that you guys were strict on us because you saw everything that was happening in our society and you just weren't used to it. Let's be honest, the way YOU were raised in Greece was most certainly not the way kids were raised in Arlington, TX. I though that you were insanely strict and just didn't want us to have fun, fit in, or be normal. (Hey I'll admit I was allowed to do a lot more than my sister was...) But now that I am a mom I see all the crazy shit that you tried to protect us from...only now its worse. Now its 10 times worse. Today's society is completely insane and I'm very happy to have you both as examples on how to raise children and how to protect them.

Looking back on everything I now know that you didn't miss school plays, talent shows, parent-teacher nights because you wanted to...you did it because you had to work to provide for us the life that we had. (A rather good life if I do say so myself).

If I had to say anything I disliked about your parenting (hey we are being honest right) I'd have to say that I wish you would have given us a little more freedom, given us a bit of space to spread our wings. (Funny I say US but I'm only speaking for myself. I'm not sure what Alex is thinking). I know you wanted to protect us from making mistakes but sometimes learning from our own mistakes is much more powerful than hearing anecdotes and examples of other people's mistakes. Learning and experiencing are very powerful tools.

So mommy and daddy...I basically want to end this the same way I started it. With letting you know that I love you both from the bottom of my heart.

By the way mom: Now I totally get it when you'd tell me "Just become a mom Polexeny and then tell me that I'm crazy!" but can you please STOP telling me,"Wait until you become a grandma...then you'll know why I am the way I am".

Love you,

Your favorite daughter, (ha ha. I'm kidding Alex now fuck off!)

Jenny

Other people doing writing challenges:

Heather @ Tomorrow Starts Today

Tash @ Tashsparkles

Dana @ Undercover Super Mom

Letter #2: A Letter to My Crush

2011-01-11T10:16:00.001-06:00

This is day 2 of the Letter A Day Blog Challenge. Yes I wrote a letter to My Best Friend and today I have to write a letter to my crush. This one is really hard. I mean, c'mon I'm married. I guess I can preface this blog with this: Thank God my husband is NOT a jealous man. He sometimes reads my blogs.

Without further adieu...

Dear Crush,

My God, how many years have we known each other? Almost all of our adolescence and adult lives. We went from merely knowing each other, to being friends, to being best friends, to feeling something for one of another, to merely knowing each other again, to being best of friends. Isn't it crazy how life works out?

You remember how a few years ago we played the "What If" game? What if I hadn't moved. What if your girlfriend hadn't gotten pregnant. What if we spent more time together while still in school. What if we had known how similar we actually were...there as so many whatifs in this world and we just can't live our lives wondering what could have been. We'll never know if its a "what should have been". I pretty much think that my life has turned out the way it SHOULD have....you are what COULD have been.

A little piece of my heart will always belong to you. You've been a great friend, a confidant, and rock. I know I can always count on you for a shoulder to cry on, a voice to comfort me, and you always ALWAYS provide me with sound advice.

Isn't it funny how that works? No matter the feelings we once shared for one another (or still may have...I don't know what you are thinking anymore) we are always there for one another. Helping, listening, comforting, and consoling. I know that you have been going through a hard time lately and I hope you work things out. I hope that everything goes just the way you want it to...and remember, there is no shame in leaving an unhappy relationship. Don't you dare let yourself suffer because you don't want to be a statistic. You are far too good to give a damn what people think or say. (And I think you've proven that in other aspects of your life).

I just want to let you know that I love you dearly. No seriously, I don't say it nearly often enough but I really do. You are one of my favorite things about going "home" for a visit. I look forward to the time we spend together. I love driving around in your car listening to music that I would normally punch myself in the face for listening to (Snake Farm...sounds kinda nasty....kinda is), talking about anything and everything, going to the zoo and making ridiculously funny comments about all the animals (and you reminding me not to go camera happy until I see the white tigers....because my battery DID die as soon as I snapped the last picture.), going to eat at "our restaurant" and just talking about anything under the sun.

So my darling crush. I love you and I'll talk to you soon.

XOXO,

Jenny

Yesterday's letter can be found HERE

Other bloggers doing a blogging challenge can be found:

Heather @ Tomorrow Starts Today

Tasha @ TashSparkles

Blog Hop Monday

2011-01-10T09:00:00.000-06:00

So I'm all for trying new things. I'm always interested in finding new blogs to read....and yes...boost my follow count. So today I am trying a blog hop.

It's simple:

1) Follow the people in the first 4 slots {the Fourth Spot will ALWAYS feature a blogger who participated in the blog hop the week before} If you want the hosts to follow you back leave a comment on their MFM post.

2) Grab the button! Post it in your sidebar or in a post with a little something about you so everyone who comes to follow you has a space to say Hey, Following from MFM!

3) Have Fun. Make New Friends, because it’s cool to be popular

-This weeks fourth spot is Life With Levi-

Here are the people participating in this blog hop so far....

Letter #1: A Letter to My Best Friend

2011-01-09T23:19:00.001-06:00

As I mentioned in my last post I am doing a blog challenge in which I have to write a letter to someone everyday. The list of people I have to write is found on the previous post along with my notes on how easy I think it'll be.

Well....here goes!

Dear Best Friend,

I'm happy that this challenge started off with such an easy person to write. Honestly, this is probably the easiest one on the list. I just wanted to tell you how proud of you I am.

You have honestly inspired me. You had a dream and went after it and nothing can possibly stop you. In a way, I'm slightly envious of you and what you have accomplished. I know that at times you doubt yourself when it comes to life due to relationships, finances, and living situation but it doesn't remotely compare to the amazing things you HAVE done.

By doing everything that you have done you have inspired me to light a candle under my ass and get going. I have the means to follow my dreams just not the motivation. You motivate me. You give me verbal ass kickings every time we talk about getting my butt in gear.

When I think back to our relationship I can't help but laugh. We've had our ups, our downs, our sideways, and any which way but in the end we always come out on top together. You bothered me for 2 years straight. I barely knew anything about you besides the fact that you sat behind me in class and bugged me. Daily.

It's been like 15 years we've known each other and I can't picture my life without you. You are such a great person on the inside and outside. I've never met a person who has so much passion, drive, and determination (some might call that stubborn and I guess I can agree from time to time) . No matter what you do you put 110% into it. You always give it your all and that is something to be admired.

I'm going to end this letter by saying two things.

1. I wish we were closer so that we could hang out in person instead of via MSN, text messages, and telephone calls.

2. I love you. A lot.

Love Always.

-J

Others that are particpiating in one of the writing challenges....

Writing Challenge times 2.

2011-01-09T14:22:00.000-06:00

I've decided to do a writing challenge on my blog as per my friend TashSparkles and she basically got her challenge from another blog located HERE. Tash is doing two challenges, I'm doing one for the time being. I might join in on the other one another day or I might just start the second challenge after the first ends.

I don't know how well I'll do on this. Do you remember how badly I failed at NoBlPoMo or whatever it was called?

If you feel like participating in this challenge let me know and I'll link your blog to the bottom of my Challenge Posts daily. This way we can spread around the love.

So here is the challenge (and my notes on them) . I sort of want the friends, crushes, etc ones to be anonymous. I'm not going to start off the letter with "My darling dear crush _________" I'll leave out the names....this is merely to protect the innocent.

The 30 Day Letter Challenge

WRITE A LETTER TO THESE PEOPLE :

Day 1 — Your Best Friend -- People probably won't know who this person is. They assume they do but when they read the post they'll be like?!?

Day 2 — Your Crush -- Considering I"m married this will be based on an old crush UNLESS celebrities count.

Day 3 — Your parents -- Oh jeez.

Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative) -- This one should be fairly easy.

Day 5 — Your dreams -- Ohhhh that can be hard.

Day 6 — A stranger -- This one is probably the easiest.

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush -- Fuck! Another one!?

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend -- How do I narrow that person down?

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet -- Here is where the celebrities come in!

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to --Yeah. I totally know who this one is too.

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to -- This one is hard. Very hard.

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain -- I think this kind of...yeah they might be covered in an earlier letter.

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you -- I know EXACTLY who this one goes out to.

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from -- Some of these seem repetitive to me. I'll have to keep ALL subjects in mind before writing.

Day 15 — The person you miss the most - This one is so easy.

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country -- That is like 95% of the people that I know!

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood -- I can dig it.

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be -- That's hard.

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad LMAO. So easy.

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest -- Oh. Yeah. I can write it.

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression -- Ha ha. That would be 85% of the world.

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to -- Uh I'm not good at forgiving and forgetting.

Day 23 — The last person you kissed - My husband....that one has to be obvious.

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory -- Wow. I have to think.

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times -- Uh huh. I have this one covered too.

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to -- I only pinkie promise with one person...

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day -- Uh?

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life -- This could possibly be a teacher.

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to -- Yep. This one is totally covered in a letter above.

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror -- Darling, you are beautiful!

Don't forget to let me know if you are participating in this writing challenge so that I can link to your post. The easiest way to leave me your post link is by sending me a DM on twitter (@Tzenaki81) OR by dropping me an email at Tzenaki(AT)gmail(DOT)com

Do you think before you post?

2010-12-27T19:37:00.003-06:00

Have you ever really wanted to say something on the internet and then stopped and thought..."Wait, my cousin can read this...." I'm sure we've all been there. We want to say something on Facebook, Twitter, your blog, or wherever, and you just can't because a family member, a friend, or a co-worker may see it.

I hate it. I seriously do. I'm a venter. I do NOT keep things inside and normally my blog is the place I turn to in order to just let it all out. I don't feel like it is wrong but I do feel like it can be seen as wrong. I mean we've all heard the horror stories of people getting fired (or sometimes not hired), family members not talking to each other any longer, or long time friends throwing a friendship away based on something posted on the internet.

I've been there. Well, I was never fired but I did start an anonymous blog about a year and a half ago because I needed to vent and I knew that one of my co-workers stalked my blog, twitter, and facebook in order to email my boss anytime I'd refer to her. My co-worker was obviously extremely intimidated by me and then I just got fed up of hiding behind an anonymous blog. It's not who I am. I got rid of that blog and just said "Fuck it". If someone gets offended by what I say then too damn bad for them. It's not like I write something online and never own up to it. Anything I write online I can, will, and probably have said to their face.

So what brings this up? I had a dream last night and it was very odd. I had a dream that George and I were celebrating some kind of event. It was probably Demi's baptism but I have no idea since that part wasn't in the dream. Anyway, people give envelope gifts (cash!) at these types of events so it was the next morning and George and I were opening the envelopes. I opened an envelope from my God brother Bobby. It was a big fold out card and he had written a lot in the card. He wrote, 1st Congratulations. The next fold had a 2nd and then it had small writing on it. I remember in my dream I brought the card closer to me so I could read it and it said something about "the chaos the internet caused". Then George woke me up. I didn't get to read any more and I was very upset. I got woken up from something interesting that didn't feature Paul Walker.

So when I woke up from bed I tried to think of why would Bobby write something like that in a card. Then I thought about it. I totally bashed his mom on my Facebook last year around my baby shower. I didn't invite my God mother, the lady who baptized me, to my baby shower. I felt (and still feel) like that relationship is dead in the water and we only invite each other to events out of "obligation" and not because we want to. Actually, wait, no, she doesn't invite me, my mom MADE me invite her. My mom made me invite my god parents to my engagement, wedding shower, and wedding. My god mother did NOT invite me to her sons' (both sons) engagements, wedding showers for their brides, baptism for one grandchild, but invited me to both weddings. Like seriously?

Why would you invite me to the wedding but none of the events leading up to it? Why would you NOT invite me but you invite all your other god children? I'll tell you why. Our relationship is very strained. I moved away when I was 4. She didn't see me again until I was 14. I moved back when I was 18. We saw each other in the beginning a lot and then I moved out of my aunt's house and I never saw my god mother again unless it was a special occasion. I got sick of it. I don't want them to come because they feel they HAVE to and I don't want to be invited because they HAVE to invite me. So I made a decision and told my mom that I would NOT be inviting my god mother to my baby shower nor would I be inviting their family to Demi's baptism. The last event that I would attend for them would be Bobby's wedding.

My God mother bought me a gift for Demi. She knew she wasn't invited to the baby shower because my aunt and uncle are some how related to her. What does she do? She goes and buys D an outfit (A Christmas dress for a 3 month old (D was set to be born in April), a snow suit for a 3 month old (again baby was born in April), and some ugly shoes. The whole thing must have cost $12 from the Wal-Mart post Christmas sale ( baby shower was in February). She doesn't bring the gift to me. She takes it to my sister's work and asks my sister to bring it to me. Seriously? How fucking ghetto are you? She writes a card and in that card she writes that she is very sorry that we have lost touch over the years but it's my fault. So wait, are you giving me a gift solely to find a way to turn the situation around and make me at fault?

My mom kept on urging me to call my god mother and thank her very much for the gift. I told her that I would be sending a thank you card to her like I am for everyone else who attended the baby shower. But my thank you card isn't a generic "thank you". I always write "thank you for the _______ I'm sure Demi will enjoy it when _____" or something to that extent.

My thank you to my God mother was a bit harsh. I thanked her for the gift and then continued to tell her that blaming me for her errors was tacky. I told her that after my engagement I sent her a thank you card telling her how thankful I was for the thoughtful gift she got me and how we've lost touch and should get together for dinner or coffee one day. I left my cell number and said to call when she is ready. She never called. I said "Fuck it". In the card I told her she was to blame and that after her son's wedding we could consider it the end of the relationship. I also told her how I was holding back/being nice in my card out of respect for my parents. She did not congratulate me on the birth of my daughter at her son's wedding and she barely acknowledged my being there. It was great. It made ending the relationship even easier.

So then I started thinking this morning. Do I really trash people that badly on the internet that it causes chaos in their lives? Yeah I do...BUT...lets be honest here. I do NOT write anything on my blog that I haven't already said to their face. Sure I called my god mother a bitch on Facebook. I basically wrote the exact same thing in the card I sent her only I worded it more nice. I've posted about how my co-worker can drive me up the wall and back and called her out on her lies BUT I have discussed the issue with my boss and let him know how I feel about her and the situation. I've called the co-worker a liar to my boss and he's confronted her on it. I've called out my cousin for not sharing holidays on my blog and YES I've told her how I think its very selfish of her and how I hated it and would not go to her home until she learns to share (guess what this year she shared).

You always hear people talk tough on twitter and on their blogs. I may talk tough but I do back it up and I'll always say it to your face.

So my advice to you, before blogging, tweeting, or updating your status about your friends, family, and co-workers, be sure that you can own up to it if ever confronted. If you can't then think twice before hitting submit!

Jealousy & Hypocrisy

2010-12-02T09:04:00.003-06:00

So here I am blogging again. That makes twice in one week. I am patting myself on the back and I think you should all give me a high five. I don't think I've EVER done that....at least not since Demi was born.

So my last blog post got some people worked up. There wasn't much action in terms of comments on the blogs but the feedback on Twitter was overwhelming. (That is a great thing). Apparently I was not the only Tweeter/Blogger to get annoyed by BMM. One of BMM's friends, mignons, lovers, admirers, asshole lickers was very quick to attack on twitter while NOT saying it to me.

BirthBabiesBitch (BBB) was making passive aggressive comments on Twitter regarding my blog but apparently didn't have the balls to address her comments or concerns directly to me. Now seeing as how I unfollowed her I had her tweets brought to my attention from other people who think she is as dumb as I KNOW she is.

Her snide comments were along the lines of "I love how jealous people trying to slam popular bloggers to get attention to their blog" "Some people are just so jealous of other bloggers success" Once I saw those tweets I replied directly to BBB telling her that I'm NOT jealous. What do I care if someone has 203478023948203942 sponsors? Does this look like a blog that is actively looking for sponsors? Does my writing scream "Please let me pimp out your products and I'll write great things about it?" Uh no. This is a venting blog, a personal blog, MY BLOG. I don't want sponsors, I don't want people paying me to write about their products by either giving me advertising money or free products, I don't want to feel like my blog is a job.

So apparently I was just blogging about BMM in order to get attention to my blog. Seriously? Before the post I wrote earlier in the week my last blog was written in September. Two freaking months ago...three now that we hit December. Do you really think I'm trying to up my follower count? Do you really think that was my purpose? If you do then you really are a stupid cu- Oh wait, I'd call you a cunt but you really don't have the depth of the warmth.....

Then I got called a hypocrite because I wrote on Twitter that my blog hits had gotten really high off of one post. BBB writes (again not to me) something along the lines of "I like how people who slam popular bloggers in one tweet talk about their blog hits in the next. Hypocrite". Really? I'm a hypocrite? Really? Me?! I'm not allowed to be shocked at the number of people who read that blog? I'm not allowed to comment on it? I wonder if BBB has ever heard of cause and effect? But really, me? A hypocrite?

Isn't a hypocrite someone who says they won't do something and then they do it? Like, "Oh my god. I believe every woman should fight till her dying breath for a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section) and then they schedule a c-section". I'm fairly certain that falls under the category of hypocrite. Now don't get me wrong. I have nothing against c-sections. I'm not an "vist" of any kind (lactavist, VBACvist, Intactivist). I believe everyone should do what is best for their family and their current situation but I HATE when people are like "No....so many c-sections in this country are done for no medical reason what so ever. More women should fight for their right to have a VBAC. They need to find doctors willing to support their decision yadda yadda yadda. And what do they do next? They decide to schedule a c-section because "well my case is a medical case". Um are you sure? You can't try? You preach to everyone about at least TRYING a VBAC yet you schedule a c-section months in advance of your due date! Oh but I forgot. I'm a hypocrite! Whatever.

BBB has also called me an internet thug, or trying to act all hard behind a computer screen. I just have one thing to tell her and all of you. THIS IS ME. I'm exactly the same way in real life. I have a big mouth and if it pops into my head you'll hear about it. I'm not afraid to say what I feel. My blog is named Giftedly-Outspoken for a reason. I'm outspoken. My mother always taught me to speak my mind (although I'm sure she hoped I'd be more tactful). My grade 9 Physical Science teacher wrote in year book that my openness and honesty was refreshing but sometimes I'd look better if I held my tongue. After I read that I opened my mouth, grabbed my tongue and started talking to her. I let go of my tongue and I told her "I guess you're wrong. Holding my tongue isn't a good look for me."

I'm not an internet thug, I'm not a bully, and I'm not acting hard. This is just who I am. If you don't like it I invite you to unfollow the blog, unfollow me on twitter, or click the X in the upper right hand corner of your computer screen.

'Til next time!

Open Letter to CuntfaceBabyMakingMama

2010-11-28T09:19:00.005-06:00

Let me preface this blog by warning you all that it's NOT nice. Let me also warn you that I don't give a damn if you think I'm not nice and I don't care if you post comments calling me a bitch. Let's try telling me something I don't already know!!

Dear CuntfaceBabyMakingMama,
Over the past few months I've watched you go from nice, to tolerable, to slightly annoying, to shut the fuck up you stupid bitch. It really didn't take long to get from Point A to Point B. Your annoying factor would escalate by the minute...second even.At first I didn't understand why people thought you were annoying. I thought you were just a lost little soul who was utterly confused about every aspect of pregnancy, breast feeding, and raising a kid. I mean, for fucksake, you posted questions on your blog and twitter practically every 15 minutes. Then upon closer examination I realized what you were doing. You were PURPOSELY asking controversial questions on twitter to drive traffic to your blog. Why would someone do that? Ohhhh I know. You wanted a sponsored pregnancy! You wanted companies to pay you or give you shit to advertise on your blog since you were getting traffic. Hmmmmm...

What I find hilarious is that you claim to be a journalist and that you post these types of questions in order to "get both sides of the story". I have an idea... Why don't you shut the fuck up and do what most normal journalist do. RESEARCH. Woah. What a fucking new concept. I mean crack open books, bust out the computer and research what doctors have said, what experts think. Why take it to Twitter and your blog? You want to know what "real" people think? Oh c'mon. How many people lie on the internet?! I can sit there and say that I'm a 100% Attachment Parenting type of person and I co-sleep, baby wear, breast feed etc.... and give YOU advice about something I know NOTHING of. So no you dumb bitch, you aren't doing it to find out what people think or to get both sides of every story. You are doing it in order to get more traffic to your blog in order to get people to pay you. Basically, you are whoring yourself out. I'm very sure that the Church of Latterday Saints is happy that you are not only whoring out yourself but your kid too.

So, one of your main reasons for breast feeding is because you were "cheap" (Your words not mine) and you weren't "broke enough yet" to cloth diaper (I guess you got broke enough since you do it now?) yet you suddenly have money to buy a skeptic of cloth diapering a starter set? Ironically enough this starter set is the same kind from a company that sponsors you. I'm gonna go out on a not so big limb here and say that you aren't buying shit. It's being given to you like a whole bunch of other things. Do I have an issue with free things? Not at all. I do however have issues with sponsored pregnancies and sponsored "raising of children". Stop and think...Would Lil J actually have all the stuff she has if you weren't a "sponsored" parent. If companies weren't giving you shit for free would your kid have the shit she has? The answer is NO because you are a self proclaimed cheapo. I mean, 20$ on your water bill increase has made you start washing less often etc. So basically Lil J would have a completely different life if it weren't for your "sponsors". I wonder if all your sponsors know what a two faced bitch you are.

You like to come across as completely sweet and innocent and get oh so offended if someone writes something mean about you. You like to play the victim. You aren't the victim you are the anti-victim. You like controversy because it gets you attention. Well here is the last bit of it you'll ever get from me.

By the way, before you call someone a troll I suggest you take a family picture and stare at it and try to figure out who actually LOOKS like a troll.

In case you need a little refresher... TROLL

ETA: I've decided to edit this post a little bit in order to add a few important bits!

1. I have NO issue with mother who generate revenue from their blogs. I don't mind people who do giveaways on their blogs (Hell, I enter them). I don't like when people pretend to be all about the "info" and "interaction" while they are actually trying to get sponsored or make money off their blogs.

2. The Cuntface mentioned above keeps on posting on Twitter about Cry It Out (CIO) or Feberizing her baby. CIO is basically letting your child cry themselves to sleep. They call it "self soothing". This dumb bitch claims to be doing a "softer" Feber method...then later admits that she is trying a technique that she HASN'T read the book on! She is just picking and choosing what she wants to hear. A soft or hard version of Feber still equals CRYING IT OUT. Doesn't matter if your kid cries for 2 minutes or 3 hours, crying it out is crying it out. DUMB BITCH.

3. As you can see from the comments below, I'm not the only person who thinks this about her and I am NOT the first one who has called her out on it. @CrunchyVTMommy also has written a post on her. (Find it by clicking on her Twitter user name! Links you directly to her post!)

4. I still think shes stupid. That opinion will not be changing any time soon.

5. It irks me that people actually sponsor her and let her spew random shit out. How can Bravado let her blog for them? Do I want to take breast feeding advice from someone who doesn't know shit about it? Do I want to take breast feeding advice or follow the journey from someone who started giving their kid "sneaks" of her adult food. Seriously? Bravado wants us to learn something from her!? I use the term "us" loosely because I am not a breastfeeding mom but you get my point right?

Are we a weaker race now?

2010-09-29T20:35:00.003-05:00

Well well well. What do we have here. Me...blogging? Hell must have frozen over....or wait, maybe I just found a few minutes to myself? I think its the latter no?

I've had this topic in my head for a while and then I finally decided to just go for it. You know what it is? It's about how freaking sensitive we've become as a "people". Everyone gets their panties in a bunch over the smallest thing. They take something not aimed towards them as an attack towards them, their race, their religion, their sex, their sexuality or whatever. It's like, Get over it already! Not only that...are we weaker as a race? As society?

What do I mean? Well...you must be living under a rock if you haven't seen Jersey Shore. All of a sudden all Italian Americans got all offended that they were being misrepresented. Yes...the entire world must think ALL Italians act like horny walking STDs.... When I watch that show do I assume that every Italian likes to be called a guido or guidette? Do I assume they all travel with a carry on full of BRONZER? Do I assume they all like to drink up a storm and will fuck anything that has two legs and a warm hole? Um no. What do I think? I think it makes for some seriously entertaining television. I think that these kids are making asses of THEMSELVES and portraying themselves in a way that I'm sure in 5 years they'll be embarrassed by. If ANYONE watches that show and decides to lump all Italians into one big group...well...how do you put it nicely? They are FUCKING DUMB....Yeah that just about covers it! (Oh and maybe someone should let them know that the majority of the cast are NOT Italian...)

Moving on...

Another hot topic is peanut free schools. Do I get it? Yeah, I can totally get it but at the same time I don't. I realize some people are deathly allergic to nuts but how exactly is it the fault of everyone else?! *Collective gasp* Yeah I said it. I'm sorry when I was in school people were allergic to nuts and they never made our schools peanut free. In fact if you forgot your lunch or lunch money at home the school provided you with....a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and milk! Yes the SCHOOL GAVE OUT PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICHES! Well what if you are allergic? Um, you speak up and say "I'm allergic can I have a grilled cheese instead!?" Yeah its that simple. Please don't tell me that young kids won't know better. A family friend came over to visit us when Demi was first born. They brought their 3 year old. I said hi to her and she said this, "Hi I'm Eva and I'm allergic to nuts.." THREE YEARS OLD! Right away I knew what NOT to offer her. Did I still leave the nuts out for the adults. I sure as hell did. They, as parents, are responsible for their child. They shouldn't allow their kid to eat nuts...not stop everyone else from having nuts.

If we think about it a lot of people are now being diagnosed with Celiac disease, the inability to breakdown/digest gluten. Do they insist that the school become gluten free? What about those who are allergic to penicillin... do we insist none come into the school?

I think every parent should properly pack their child's lunch. I think the parents should explain to the kids about allergies and the dangers of trading a sandwich or snack with a kid...a kid should know what they are allergic to and just not eat anything with it. Why should the entire school become peanut free?

Was it that allergies weren't that dangerous when I was in grade school? Is it that the school board just didn't give a flying fuck? Maybe our parents didn't care enough about us to insist the school become peanut free? Oh wait, maybe we were just a bit tougher back then and we weren't babied to death. We were supposed to know what could harm us and not harm us...

Okay maybe this one will make you hate me...Why do we coddle our children sooooooo much? What do I mean? The smallest thing happens to our kids and then we think "they need professional help" "they need to speak to someone"... I totally get it if something tragic happens, a parent dies, they are sexually assaulted or whatnot. But NOT EVERYTHING WARRANTS FACE TIME WITH A SHRINK!!

There are two teenagers that I know that have had some medical issues. Nothing that can kill them, not cancer, just medical problems. Guess what? Their doctors recommended they talk to a child therapist in order to discuss how they are feeling because apparently being sick can make you sick in the head. Yeah. I said it. I'm a bitch.

When I was 13 years old I was diagnosed with an immune disease that affects my muscles and my use of said muscles. Which muscles? Every single freaking muscle. This is something that would affect my every day life. I had to make changes. I had to take medication...wait, let me rephrase that...I HAVE to make changes, I HAVE to take medication. Do you know how we dealt with that? I went home from the doctor with my dad. I EXPLAINED TO MY PARENTS what the doctor said best I could (old fashioned Greek parents that totally aren't getting what immuno-suppressants and nerons etc are) in some kind of horrible translation, I explained what the medication would do, and we made the changes that we needed to. If I was having a bad day (pitying myself) I'd talk to my mom or sister about it. I'd bitch. I'd complain. I'd read. I'd listen to music. I coped. Nowadays, this type of thing could harm a child. It can make them hate themselves. They need PROFESSIONAL freaking help.

Were we expected to be tougher back then? Did our parents not care about us? Did the doctors not care about us? Was my (and other children patients) mental health not a concern to the doctors? Do we know more today about how certain things can affect a child's mental health then we did back when I was 13? Or is it that we are just softer as a whole. We coddle our children more don't let them develop a thick skin. We don't let them deal with issues. We try to protect them so much that by the time they get out in the real world they are going to be completely and totally fucked up. They aren't going to know what hit them.

I dunno, maybe I'm a bitch but I think that we just coddle EVERYONE, adults and children alike, way too much and its making for a softer, weaker, overly sensitive population. :(

Relationship Rules...oh wait, I mean common sense!

2010-07-25T18:02:00.003-05:00

You know the types of things that people post on Twitter and Facebook are extremely alarming. Seriously, people feel so comfortable in the cyberworld that they forget that people in the real world really know them. I don't get why people post half the crap they do...but they do and of course that leaves people like me something to blog about so I don't mind so much.

From my past few years of social networking and my recent year of twittering I've picked up a few relationship rules that I figured I'd share with you. Hell, I might be saving your relationship as we speak. You can totally thank me later. I also accept tips via my paypal :)

1. If you don't want people questioning why you are in a certain relationship stop writing crazy shit as your status or latest blog post. If you tell everyone that your husband hits you...people will call him abusive. If you tell people that he constantly ridicules you, they will still call him abusive as well as scum and other choice words. Don't expect because the next day he bought you flowers for everyone to be "Oh that's so freaking sweet!" It's called sucking up because he wants your dumb ass to stick around so that he can continue to beat on you. He's an insecure man and you are insecure therefore an easy target for him. Don't find excuses for him, "Oh he was drunk. Oh he had a hard day at work. Oh his mom had really gotten under his skin that morning". I don't give one fucking shit how bad his day was, how much he drank, or who pissed him off....it doesn't give ANYONE the right to take their shit out on their spouse. STOP complaining about how shitty he is and continue to stay with him and then make excuses. Get the fuck off of that train and soon. I seriously have a feeling in my stomach that one of my twitter friends will end up dead at her husbands hands within the next few years. Yes, its that bad.

2. CHILDREN DO NOT SAVE MARRIAGES. If you and your spouse are thinking of ending your relationship having a baby will NOT help. It might at first, for a few weeks, or months, or even a year but then all those feelings you felt will come up again and you'll still end up divorced....only now you are dragging innocent little kids into it. Eventually you will end up hating your spouse and likely resenting the kid too. Kids shouldn't be used as pawns in a marriage. Have kids when you are happy in your HEALTHY relationship and when BOTH of you want them. I have a friend from HS who was miserable in his marriage. He stayed with his wife for the sake of their first kid. The more they talked about divorce the more angry she got. She got herself knocked up again and now he's staying for the sake of the kids. He's miserable, she's miserable and the kids feel that tension. (Seriously folks, if you are thinking of divorcing your spouse how about you keep your private parts to yourself to this type of shit doesn't happen?)

3. ENTRAPMENT. What do I mean? Say you are that couple that has a super rocky relationship. You are together for a week, broken up for a week, together for 3 months, broken up for 1 month... yeah... those types of couples should seriously invest in birth control. Let's be honest, usually when people have those rocky relationships its because one person wants more than the other. Someone wants to get married and the other doesn't...one wants kids and the other doesn't. People that are on the same page rarely have roller coaster relationships. If you are in a relationship like this USE BIRTH CONTROL. If your girlfriend wants to get married and have kids and you don't....do NOT rely on her for birth control. Use a fucking condom. That is the type of girl who will "accidentally" get pregnant. Why? Because she thinks that by her being pregnant she'll get it all. The ring, the baby, the house, and the perfect life. It's RARELY like that. Okay, so say he does give you a ring. He proposes and agrees to marry you...is that what you really want? You want a guy to marry you ONLY because he wants to do right by his child? He doesn't want to marry YOU for YOU...he's doing it because he feels PRESSURED by either his family or society to "do right by you"? I don't know about you but I have way too much self esteem and self respect to trap a man into marrying me. If you don't want me for me I'm not going to scheme to come up with plans to get you to marry me. I'm moving on honey. I mean, isn't that really shitty? You basically ruined someone else's life by tricking them and forcing them to be a husband and a father when they didn't want that at all for themselves? Oh, word to the wise, for those of you who have done this or plan on doing this DO NOT TELL ANYONE. Why? Because one day the cat will find its way out of the bag and you are going to drag other people through your shit and I'm sure they don't want to be there. Huh? Say you do this and you tell your best friend... or a good friend...or a friend in general. You guys have a huge fight. You both explode and say things that you either really mean or don't mean so much. Now trapped husband is listening and the friend screams something like, "oh yeah, at least I didn't trick "enternamehere" into marrying me bitch!" Yeah, you are pretty much screwed. Especially if boyfriend and you had trust issues prior to that. Do yourself a favor and don't tell anyone...not in real life, not on twitter, not on facebook. Take that shit to the grave.

Yeah so those are my few short tips. It's sad to think that its 2010 and some people still don't get it. It's not rocket science people, its freaking common sense! I'm sure I'll see more things and update this list in another blog post at a later date...until then....keep posting random shit for me to see! :)

More Yummy in my Tummy

2010-05-31T11:09:00.003-05:00

I don't know if many of you know this but I love food. Like seriously, food makes my world go round (and some times my stomach goes round too!).

I'm always looking for new and interesting recipes to try. A couple of weeks ago I went to a wedding and I didn't want to eat the food because I had been to another wedding there a few years back and the salad left a bad taste in my mouth. I hated it. It was arugula, sliced strawberries, pecans with a raspberry sauce. It didn't go well. So last night my husband made veal in the oven with potatoes and I said I'd make a side dish. I had fresh strawberries and I was dying to use them so I thought I'd try my hand at the wedding salad. I was sure I could do it better. Guess what...It was AWESOME.

Baby Spinach and Strawberry Salad

4 cups baby spinach washed and hand torn
2 cups of hulled and sliced strawberries

1/2 cup of lighted toasted pinenuts (or you can used sliced almonds lightly toasted)

Throw it all in a bowl :) Now comes the amazing dressing.

In a jar with a lid (or in a magic bullet) mix the following:

1 cup oil (your choice between olive oil or vegetable oil. I used olive)

1/2 cup of balsamic vinegar

1 tablespoon granulated sugar PLUS 1 teaspoon granulated sugar

1 teaspoon ground onion

1 teaspoon ground garlic

a dash of dry mustard

Cover the salad with it and toss to coat. Tastes DELISH! :) If you don't like the look of the dressing from the balsamic vinegar you can always use white balsamic vinegar which is a bit sweeter but also more expensive. This is an excellent summer salad.

Another good recipe and slightly more fattening....

Pork Tenderloin Strips

Take a pork fillet (pork tenderloin) and cut it into strips. About 4 inches long each and not too thick. You need:

1/2 cup flour

2 eggs lightly beaten

1 bag of potato chips beaten up (throw the bag in a food processor and spin it around for a couple of seconds)

Put each of the above ingredients in its own shallow bowl.

Take your strips and toss them in the flour, coat them with the egg, and then roll them in the potato chip crumbs. Put on a baking sheet.

Put in a preheated oven of 400 degrees and bake for 7 minutes, remove, turn over the strips and bake for another 7 minutes. If you want them extra golden finish them off under the broiler for a couple of minutes.

Serve with any type of dippin sauce. It's excellent with tzatzaki, honey mustard, barbeque or sweet and sour.

My Birth Story

2010-04-30T17:29:00.005-05:00

Well 21 days ago I gave birth to my beautiful little girl. I was BEYOND ready to give birth to her. My OBGYN had informed me that we'd take Demi out a little early due to her being concerned that she was small. I was expecting to deliver my little girl around the end of March, she was due on April 4th. Well after my last ultra sound we saw that Demi was NOT small but "average size" so we'd wait for me to deliver naturally but not allow me to go more than a few days past my due date.

Well I went more than a "few days" past my due date. After a week post due date my OB asked for me to be induced. However there was a long line up of women to be induced PLUS women just going into labor on their own. There was a list of 17 people waiting for an induction. I was getting so annoyed waiting to go into labor. I was freaking out. I wanted to NOT be pregnant anymore. I was so uncomfortable plus anxious. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't breathe. I was just kind of on the miserable side the 11 days. Everyday I would wake up and call the birthing center to see how far they were along on that list of 17 people. Each day I got told that the list was longer and they would call me when it was time. I didn't want to annoy the hospital by calling many times in a day because, lets be honest, you don't want to piss off the staff that is going to help you deliver. When they call they'll call right?

My sister in law came back from her Florida vacation and went to the birthing center to speak to the nurses (she works at the hospital I gave birth at). They told her that I was the next person on the list and of course my sister in law made me seem extremely miserable when speaking to the head nurse. As soon as my sister in law left the hospital they called me and told me to come into the hospital within the next hour and a half so we can start my induction. I was ecstatic as I had insisted that my husband take me to the mall so I could try walking to trigger labor. I got the call while in the mall! I was sooo excited. So I rush home to get my bags and something to eat. I was told by many people to eat before hand since they wouldn't let me eat at the hospital. As George is getting my bag into the trunk of the car I hear my phone ringing. I answer it and its the hospital. They tell me not to come in. Someone who was in the case room was actually in active labor and now they had no room. Seriously? What would happen if I went into labor naturally right then and there?

I hang up the phone and get all pissed off and sad. I sat on my couch and actually cried from anger and frustration. I started to laugh at one point wondering if this would cause me to go into labor. No such luck. Apparently I had scared everyone I know because no one bothered to call me. They knew how badly I wanted Demi out and of course when I got the call to go to the hospital I called and texted everyone that I was going to deliver my angel. When I found out I couldn't go I made George call everyone. I wasn't in the mood to speak to anyone. I was going to flip out. Eventually my sister in law came over. I wasn't happy about that. Not because it was my sister in law but because I wanted to be alone. She went home after a few hours and I told my husband that I was going to bed.

I went upstairs and took a shower and then got into bed. I was hoping to relax a bit. It didn't work. I couldn't sleep. I was in bed but unable to make my brain turn off. Around 1am I decided to wake up George because I wanted to talk. We talked about everything under the sun. We talked about our exes and how our lives would have been different had we ended up with them (I know weird things to talk about while you are heavily pregnant), we talked about how we planned on raising Demi, we talked about a lot of things. At one point I turned and looked at George and just told him, "Something is wrong," and he asked me what I meant by that. I just looked at him and said, "I don't know but something is really wrong." He told me to just relax and stop stressing. After about an hour I asked him, "What if Demi has swallowed meconium?" Again he told me to just relax and take it easy. He said my nerves were stressing me out and causing me to think the worse of everything. A bit later I told him, "I betcha my labor is going to happen so fast that I miss the window for an epidural" and he laughed at me telling me, "With as demanding as you are there is no way you can miss that window. You have signs ready." Eventually I fell asleep. (We had been awake talking from 1am to 6am). I woke up at 8am and told George that it was 8 and the hospital hadn't called yet. He tells me to call them. (My doctor had told me that come hell or high water I'd be induced on Thursday the 15th).

I call the birthing center and tell them my name (although I'm sure by now that they recognize my telephone number or voice!) and the nurse tells me. "We are going to call you in an hour to come in, they are just cleaning the room for you now". I'm over the moon. George and I had made plans in the middle of the night that we'd wake up, get ready for the day, go for breakfast at Le St-James Hotel and then go to the hospital. So of course now that I've heard this news I jump out of bed and go straight to the bathroom to start to get ready. Of course I have to pee. I pee, I wipe, and I see blood. Red blood. Not the blood of losing your mucus plug. I turn white and begin freaking out. I call out to George and tell him, "Something IS wrong. I'm bleeding." He of course freaks out. Then I realize I don't feel the baby moving and I don't remember when the last time I felt her was. While we were talking in the middle of the night I wasn't paying attention to if she was moving or not.

I tell him to go cut me some oranges so I can jump start the baby. Normally an orange gets her kicking my ass. It didn't work. In the car driving to the hospital, George kept asking me if I felt her moving or not and she wasn't. HELLO if she was moving I would have told you so maybe you can stop driving like a freaking maniac. As I'm in the car I'm using my telephone in order to google what would cause bleeding in late pregnancy. What did I find? Most common cause is a detached placenta. I start crying in the car because I'm bleeding, I can't feel the baby move and I'm thinking that I'm going to deliver a still born baby or something. I am totally freaking out. I go through my mind and tell myself that at 2am I peed and there was no blood, at 5am I peed and there was no blood...so if something serious happened it had only happened between 5am and 8am.

We get to the hospital and go straight to the birthing center. I go to the nurses desk and tell them that they are meant to call me in an hour to come in for induction but I'm bleeding and can't feel my kid moving. They take me straight to a case room and tell me to get into the hospital gown so they can hook me up to fetal monitors. They tell my husband to go down to admitting and have me admitted to the hospital. They have to do this before hooking me up to monitors. George looks at the nurse and says in a stern voice, "Hook my wife up to that machine so I can hear my daughter's heart beat and I'll be more than happy to go admit her." The nurse kind of rolled her eyes but hooked me up. Right away I heard Demi's heart beating strong and I relaxed instantly. I almost cried at this point.

George went downstairs to admit me to the hospital and my sister, cousin, and best friend all showed up at the hospital. As we were just sitting around talking my cousin told me, "Oh my God Jenny you are having contractions" and I said, "I am?!" Apparently the monitor was showing that I was having contractions every 3 to 4 minutes but they weren't very painful. Then they got painful but manageable. Apparently my threshold for pain is a lot higher than I thought it was.

A nurse comes into the room and starts to speak to me in French and I just looked at her as if she was from another planet. Nicole did the translation and informed me that I was now going to a room to give birth instead of sitting in the case room. The case room is where they decide if you are in active labor or not and the birthing room is...well thats pretty much clear cut and dry no?

So I go into a birthing room where I am told to change into yet another hospital gown and take off all my clothes including under garments.(Because apparently you can't have a vaginal delivery if you are wearing panties! Imagine that!). The nurse now puts an IV line in and hooks me up to something that is NOT saline. I ask the nurse what is happening and she says that they are inducing me.(Mind you I'm having a hard time understanding this lady. Her English is horrible and apparently she doesn't speak French very well either!). I ask her why they would be inducing me when I am having contractions steadily. She tells me that I'm not. I insist that she look at the print out from the monitors and she goes "Oh yes you are. Well you are on the schedule for an induction therefore we are inducing you." At this point I just want to give birth so I don't care how it happens although it doesn't make sense. Why cause me more pain when I'm in ACTIVE labor?

Two ladies walk into the room and introduce themselves as my nurses. One is a nurse with over 20 years experience and the other is a nursing student (this is a teaching hospital). I'm immediately relieved that the lady who didn't speak English or French isn't my nurse. I then ask the nurse for the epidural. I obviously don't waste any time. I know that when you are induced you have stronger (aka more painful) contractions so I want to be prepared. The nurse tells me that I have to wait for the resident to come see me to make sure that I'm dilated enough. They won't give an epidural before 4cms and while I was in the case room no one checked me.

About half an hour later the resident comes in and inspects me and tells me that I'm 2cm and about 90% effaced. He also informs me that they are going to break my water. They break the water and the first thing I hear from the student nurse is "Is that meconium in the water" and the resident replies with "Yes. Make sure a pediatrician is here when the baby is delivered." So of course I'm freaking out. Didn't I tell George this would happen? I'm fairly certain I did. George at this point doesn't understand what meconium is or how that is dangerous for a baby to aspirate. I ask the resident, "Excuse me did you say that there was meconium in the water," and he said yes. George asks me what that meant. I tell him in Greek that I'll explain when we are alone. Of course George being George wants to know right then and there. He asks the nurses what that meant and they explain to him. He gets up and leaves the room and goes outside and expresses to his sister in law that he'd like to punch my OBGYN for letting me go so far post due. If I delivered sooner maybe Demi wouldn't have pooped in her water bubble home. He didn't want to show me that he was angry because he knew that I was upset and if I saw him upset or angry it would only upset me more. The nurses explained to George why a pediatrician was going to be here and how they were going to deal with it. If Demi was born and had a hard time breathing they would clean out her lungs. He asked how they planned on doing it and he asked if it was painful to the baby and they told him that it wasn't comfortable. Of course this upsets George further. I tell him to relax that everything would be okay. Seriously I didn't carry this baby for 41.5 weeks for her to be born sick. She would be okay.

The resident leaves and about an hour later I ask the nurse for the epidural again. She tells me that they can't give it to me until I'm at least 4cms along and asks if I read the pros/cons of the epidural. I explain that I'm very much aware of the risks associated with the epidural and with my luck I will be one of the few people whom the epidural does not catch on. They laugh and say that its so rare to happen that the chances are like slim to none. The nurses also tell me that normally you dilate about 1 cm every hour and a half. I still insist on getting the epidural right away. The nurse tells me that in order to get the epidural the resident will have to check me again and they want to limit the number of internal examinations due to them breaking my water and NOT wanting me to get an infection. I demanded to be rechecked. The resident comes and examines me explaining that if I get an epidural now or in early labor is can slow things down and we wouldn't want that now would we? Um yes, I would. I don't care if labor gets slowed down ever since they started me on the Pitocin my contractions are extremely painful. Whereas I could have carried on a normal conversation about an hour ago now I was gritting my teeth and cursing my life. I told George, "No more kids" at one point when a contraction was particularly uncomfortable.

What do you know, I'm 4cms dilated and they call the anesthesiologist who is actually on that floor to come by and give me the epidural. The nurses tell me to get up and go pee because I won't be able to walk for a while after the epidural. I get up and pee and go back to the bed. The anesthesiologist explains to me the procedure of getting an epidural and that I'll be sitting up when they give it to me. They explain how important it is that I do not move. As I am sitting up waiting for the anesthesiologist to get ready I have the urge to vomit. I tell the nurses this and and they explain that its normal to feel from the intense pain I'm experiencing. They give me a barf bucket and I throw up...three times. It wasn't fun. I start to cry because for some reason every single time I throw up I cry. They go hand in hand.

I'm leaning over waiting for the epidural when I get that first pinch. It makes me jump. Oops. They tell me that I can't move like that when they are doing the epidural. I can seriously cause some damage to me. Now the nurse is holding me in place, George is holding my feet and the anesthesiologist is doing her thing behind me. They finish and tell me to lay on my side because I can't lay directly on my back right now. I roll over to my side. They tell me it takes about 20 minutes for the epidural to catch so I will still feel pain but then it will ease into just pressure. Most women are able to rest once the epidural catches so to prepare to drift off to sleep.

As I'm on my side the baby's fetal heart monitor starts to shrill. I am on my side and the baby didn't like that position so she moved causing her heart monitor to no longer be able to catch her heart beat. A new nurse walks in and tells me that shes the replacement nurse while mine are on lunch. She asks me to change sides because Demi might like it more. I am happy to oblige. We start to talk about my rings. She fell inlove with my blue diamond ring that George got me while we were on our honeymoon. Then I felt something...strange?

I tell the nurse, "Stephanie I feel something...different down there." She asks what I mean by different and down there. I tell her I feel an intense pressure but still a lot of pain and by down there I mean, literally down there. It's not in my stomach but literally on my vagina. She tells me, "Thats impossible that you are feeling pain and that intense pressure you are only 4cms dilated." I tell her "No I feel a lot of pressure down there." Again I'm told that I am freaking crazy.

I then let out a scream that would wake the dead and probably did. I look at George and tell him, "I'm going to give birth right now and no one believes me and there isn't even a doctor in the room". Then I bear down with all my strength on the bed rails and I say through gritted teeth to the nurse, "I feel my baby's head coming out." At this point she decided to lift the sheet to examine me herself. Obviously she isn't going to do an internal exam but she'd like to reassure me that it isn't Demi's head trying to make its way out.

The next words out of her mouth scare the crap out of me. "Oh my God, shes crowning". Did I mention that this is a mere 10 minutes after getting the epidural? The epidural which still hasn't caught yet? She rushes to the phone and calls a resident. Over the intercom you hear "Resident needed in room 30 stat!" The resident comes in freaking out. How in the hell did I go from 4 to 10 so quickly? Before I knew it the room was filled with the nurses, the resident, the pediatrician, and a few other people. They quickly converted my bed to where the leg sleeves popped out and they put my legs in them. The doctor told me to push. What already!?!?!

At one point a nurse says that they have to put in a catheter so that I can know when to push. I feel a crazy pain and a sting and I yell out, "what the fuck are you doing to me," (I know I shouldn't have cussed but um, ow!). The resident put his hands up and said, "It's not us its your baby. She's pushing her way out." Two pushes and Demi was there. Yep just 2 pushes. Demi was born exactly 20 minutes after I got the epidural, which NEVER caught. After my second push they put Demi on my belly and I asked them, "That's it? It's over?!" One of the nurses laughed and said yes besides the delivery of the after birth and placenta which might be uncomfortable. I didn't feel that. Everything happened so quickly that I was in a daze. I didn't cry at the birth of my first born. My OB walks in and looks at the resident all angrily and demands to know why I was delivered. She was on her way. The resident told my OB that if they didn't deliver that Demi was going to deliver herself.

My OB decides that she'll finish up (you know the fun sewing part which really, doesn't feel nice when there is no epidural). Apparently my "WTF are you doing to me" episode was when Demi decided to rip me. This kid saw the light and just ran for it. As I'm being repaired the student nurse looks at me and tells me, "I've seen a lot of births while I've been here but I've NEVER seen anything like that before. Your labor progressed so quickly and you delivered without even breaking a sweat."

They handed me Demi after George cut the umbilical cord and they cleaned her up. She was gorgeous. Seriously, I'm not lying and I'm not saying it because she is my kid but she was the cleanest most beautiful baby I've ever seen. George cried. After I was all patched up and had a few minutes with just the three of us I decided I could allow some visitors. There were SO MANY people at the hospital waiting for her birth. Everyone who walked into the room cried when they saw her. I felt like such a douchebag mom since I didn't cry. Everyone said how beautiful she was. I was a proud mom, I still am.

When my sister in law came into the room she tells me that I'm the talk of the floor. Every nurse or doctor who walked by the waiting room was talking about the incredible birth that happened in room 30.

For those who were wondering, no Demi didn't inhale any of her poop. The pediatrician gave her a clean bill of health. The second she was out of me she started to cry, loudly on her own. :)

Today Demi is healthy and still even more beautiful then the day she was born.

When I had originally wanted to write this blog post I wanted to go into more details but having a three week baby at home is a bit time consuming. She takes up a lot of time and I love spending time with her.

And click HERE if you want to see pictures of Demi Hope! :)

Feeling a Little, I Dunno What?!

2010-04-14T05:29:00.002-05:00

Would it be wrong to say that I'm feeling like a bad mother already? I guess it just doesn't make sense to anyone but me. I've been feeling miserable these past few days. I'm uncomfortable, I'm moody, and I'm just plain not very nice. Why? Because I'm pastdue/overdue/late to delivery Demi. I hate that I'm still pregnant and then I feel guilty for wanting to evict my child from my body.

I mean, its not like I want her out just for the sake of kicking her out. Everyone I talk to (family members) tell me, "She will come when she is ready". No, listen hear fuckers, she IS ready. I saw on the ultra sound. She has 2 arms, 2 legs, 10 fingers, 10 toes, two working lungs (we watched her take practice breaths!), a cute little stomach, a brain and a fully functioning 4 chamber heart. Um she's done. She could have been born a month ago and all would have been great. I'm currently 10 days past due and my discomfort grows by the minute. She is putting so much pressure on my pelvis that walking is NOT something I can do comfortably anymore. I can't find a comfortable position to sleep and well, at this point I'm just plain paranoid.

My bad mood is affecting my family and friends. I am avoiding their telephone calls and emails because, well, lets be honest. If you were past due wouldn't you hate answering calls about..."So are you still pregnant?" "Aren't you in labour yet?" "Why hasn't your doctor induced you yet?" and a plethora of other questions. Um don't you think if I was in labor or had delivered my baby that you would know? I'm not the type of person to hide that. I'd most likely call one person and then the chain would start and within 10 minutes everyone who has to know would know. STOP ASKING.

I was even polite on Saturday and asked my family members to, "Please stop asking me questions about when I'll deliver. When it happens you'll find out," but apparently my family doesn't know how to take a hint. The best part is when I refuse to answer the phone because I know why they are calling these are the messages that get left on my phone. "Hi Jenny and George, I'm just calling to see how you are doing. I was wondering how you are feeling..well I don't want to keep calling to bother you so..." Um you are bothering me and you are calling me so stop.

I guess I sound ungrateful but you have to understand that at a certain point and time you just get frustrated! I think the best is when someone who has had a kid (or 4) tries to pretend to be your doctor. "Oh my god. I think you need to change doctors, this is ridiculous, why would they let you go over so much. This isn't normal. You need to complain." Um lets see how many ways you are wrong. My doctor is head of OBGYN, she's one of the top rated OBGYNs in Canada, she is a high risk SPECIALIST and if she thought there was a reason to be concerned she'd do something about it. My doctor is YOUR doctors boss so how about you shut your pie hole and just leave me alone?

The hospital has a list of 20 women that are currently waiting to be induced. I'm number 8 on the list. Yesterday they told my husband that I would most likely be called in today. I still haven't gotten a call. Just to be on the safe side I called my doctor yesterday just to see if I'd need to see her for an appointment since I have to go once a week. My doctor told me to come in at 430pm. I get there and wait patiently in the waiting room. She gets paged to go deliver a baby and I'm freaking out now thinking she isn't going to see me.

She asks her assistant to get the room ready for me. She wants to examine me before she runs off to deliver the baby. I go to the examining room. Doctor comes in, I'm 2cm dilated. She's furious that I haven't been called in for an induction yet. She said she's been watching my name move up on the list but she isn't happy about where I am. She told me if I don't go into labor on my own by Thursday that she is inducing me same day no matter what. The hospital is full right now. The birthing center is over flowing (I guess people had nothing better to do in July...its true we had a miserable summer!!) and they have no beds (great perk to free health care eh?). She is going to find me a place if I don't do this on my own by Thursday. She told me to take it easy though. She doesn't want me walking around trying to get labor started because she doesn't want my MG to flare up and then cause problems when it comes time to push. We really want to do a natural birth (with epidural) and avoid a c-section at all costs. If my body gets too tired, I'll have no choice but to get a c-section.

So now here I am Wednesday morning at nearly 7am writing a blog. My spirits are in a bit better mood because I know that no matter what, this will all be over with by tomorrow. I'll finally get to hold my little princess in my arms.

Breast is Best?

2010-03-22T10:44:00.002-05:00

So I've been debating writing this post or not. Its been a long time coming. All day long on blogs I read and people I follow on Twitter are pushing breast feeding. No, not recommending it, basically shoving it down peoples throats with their random facts, trying to brain wash you that if you don't breastfeed that you are poisoning your child with formula and that you are a bad mother. A horrible mother. A mother who basically shouldn't have children if you aren't willing to breast feed.

The other day I read a quote on twitter that kind of got my blood boiling. It was something along the lines of "Breastfeeding may not be the right choice for all mothers but it is the best choice for all babies". Um excuse me? Is that so? Is breastfeeding really right for every child? Do the benefits of breastfeeding really outweigh those of formula feeding no questions asked?

I seriously doubt that. Now, let me explain to you my situation. I was never the type of person to even consider breastfeeding. No particular reason why, I just didn't want to. I'm not going to say it repulses me because it doesn't. I'm not going to say there aren't health benefits because there are. I'm not going to say much other than I simply didn't want to. My mom never breastfed my sister or I and we turned out pretty damn okay. My husband wasn't breastfeed and he's alright too. Over the past what, 40 years they have said "Ohhhh breastfeed its the best thing you can do for your kid...." then a few years later its like "Ohhhh formula feeding is best you should do that..." and then a few years later... yeah it just goes back and forth.

When I was 13 years old I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease called Myasthenia Gravis. My body produces way too many antibodies which causes my muscles to get weak and when they are weak they affect the way I live my everyday life. I have trouble going up stairs when I'm weak, I have trouble getting off of the couch, chewing and swallowing become labored, and even speaking is hard because my throat will lock up. All in all its NOT a fun disease to have but I have managed to control it. I've been in remission for a few years with only an occasional flare up.

Getting pregnant was bittersweet for me. I wanted nothing in the world more than to be pregnant and start a family but at the same time I was scared shitless. My disease could flare up hardcore and send me into a really big relapse which would have me bedridden for the entire duration of my pregnancy. I was extremely lucky. I had a minor flare up right around 4 months pregnant and my neurologist just increased the dosage of my medication but the disease has been manageable. Not much has changes in the way I live my life pregnant vs not pregnant. The pregnancy didn't make me ultra weak like we were expecting.

So whats the point? The point is that when you breastfeed your child your antibodies are transferred to your child. Is that really what I want to give my child? I want the things that make me sick to go into my little girl? No, its not a hereditary disease and I can't give it to her BUT she does have a 20% chance of being born with neonatal MG until her body starts producing her own antibodies. Because of this I had decided before I got pregnant that I would not breastfeed. I wouldn't even entertain the thought.

Then I did. I did entertain the thought. I had an appointment with my neurologist who has followed a few pregnant myasthenics in his career and asked him on his thoughts regarding breastfeeding and MG. He recommended that I NOT breastfeed. He explained to me that breastfeeding was very taxing on a womans body regardless of MG or not so imagine how that would amplify my condition. Again, I had decided against breastfeeding. Sorry, call me selfish call me vain but I don't like being weak. The thought of my body relapsing because I am breastfeeding scares the crap out of me. The thought of my child sitting in her crib crying for me to pick her up but I'm too exhausted to get off the couch/bed freaks me out. I just don't want to risk it. How can I properly care for my child if breastfeeding will cause me to have a MG flare up or relapse?

Then at my 35 week appointment with my OBGYN I started to ask her more questions about how exactly would we deliver. Would I be pushing or would that be too taxing on my body and we would schedule a C-section. How would my labor be different from non myasthenics and have any of her other patients breastfed? (Mind you blogs and twitter are forcing me to look into this entire situation. I'm being told I'm a horrible mother for even THINKING of using formula!!) She explained to me that she does recommend that I breastfeed for at least 3 weeks after giving birth but to call MotherRisk and ask more questions just to be sure. Mother Risk told me that there wasn't enough information on MG and breastfeeding BUT I can be sure that the medication I am taking will not pass through to the milk so the medication is safe. That's fine. I appreciated the honesty of the lady I spoke with and thanked her for the little information she was able to find. About 20 minutes later she called me back with a little more information she was able to dig up.

The lady from Mother Risk informed me that although I can not pass the disease on to my child I can pass the symptoms on to her if I'm having a flare up. Basically she won't have MG but she will have the symptoms such as weakness in the muscles, trouble swallowing etc. So while feeding her I'd have to really be watching her sucking/swallowing motion because I'm making her sick. Yeah, I'd be making my kid sick. I'm 28 years old and I get so frustrated when I have a flare up I could not imagine what its like being a few weeks old and unable to swallow the food I need to survive. How can I do that to my kid? How do I do that with a clear conscious because hey, breastfeeding may not be best for me but its best for EVERY kid...no questions asked.

Still, I said I'd look into it even further. Yes, with all this information coming my way screaming NO DON'T DO IT, I'm still looking into it. I was advised to contact La Leche League Canada as they provide mothers and mothers to be with breastfeeding questions, support, help, consultation etc. I looked up the contact number to one local to me and I gave the lady a call. I filled her in ONLY on the condition I had and my questions regarding breastfeeding. I did NOT tell her what other doctors, research, etc had told me. I wanted to hear what she had to say for herself. Again she was honest and told me that she didn't have too much information but she would make some calls and get me the information I desired. The next morning she called me back and told me what she had found out. Although 98% of the information she gave me was AGAINST breastfeeding she was adamant that I try it. She told me about my child picking up symptoms of MG and how it could be dangerous for the kid (choking instead of swallowing!) but that breast is best. I told her that I would feel guilty knowing that I am causing my child to be ill and her response had me floored. It was along the lines of, "Not as guilty as you will feel not breastfeeding and knowing what other diseases you can cause her to get. Did you know that non breastfed children are 30% more likely to get leukemia than breastfed children?"

Are you fucking kidding me? You want to use scare tactics in order to push your agenda? You are meant to be SUPPORTING mothers but instead you want to scare them into doing something they aren't completely comfortable with and that most research points AGAINST? You want to scare me into breastfeeding my child by telling me what can potentially happen in many years from now?

Now, I'm not the best at statistics, in fact I think I had to take the course twice in university before I passed it but there is one quote I will NEVER forget from a very smart professor. "If you beat data hard enough it will give you the results that you want." What does that mean? I'm not saying there aren't proven benefits to breastfeeding children but I am saying that saying my kids is more likely to develop leukemia because shes going to be fed by a bottle is complete and utter bullshit. Did scientist go around to every person with leukemia and poll them on if they were breastfed or not? Did they go to a region where breastfeeding isn't as popular to get their numbers? Really? Seriously? Don't try to scare me into doing something I'm not comfortable with because I'm not as naive as other people you may speak to or as easy to influence.

I kindly told the LLLC lady to go fly a kite and that scaring me was not a way to convince me to try anything, but its actually more likely to piss me off into NOT doing something. Here are some stats for you.

I have one cousin who has 4 children, all 4 of her children were breastfed for different periods of time ranging between 6 months to 2 years (she had to quit breastfeeding during her pregnancies because she was high risk which is why the ranges are so broad.) and all 4 of her children are sick or are sicker than "the average kid".

Another one of my cousin has 3 children and all 3 of them were breastfed and they are all extremely healthy. They barely even get the sniffles.

My other cousin has 2 kids. Both of them were formula fed until they were able to start on cows milk solid food. Never breastfed. These kids are totally healthy and extremely smart.

So according to my "research" my stats show that breastfeeding is WORSE. Out of 7 breastfed kids 4 are chronically ill or have life lasting illnesses. Out of the 2 formula fed babies 2 are very healthy and show no developmental issues or anything else that the breastfeeding police try to shovel our way.

What I'm not understanding at all is why is it that breastfeeding parents/advocates are allowed to push their agenda on non breastfeeding people however if formula feeders do that we are horrible people? We are trying to poison the world and our children and we are spreading lies.

Hmmm maybe next time someone asks me if I'm going to breastfeed or not and then give a shocked/disgusted look when I say "No" I'll just reply with, "Oh please, don't hate me because you couldn't afford to formula feed your child."

Wait, I forgot...I'm a better person than that and I don't judge others for their decisions. Breastfeeding maybe right for person X whereas formula feeding is right for person Y. I don't tell people "Oh my God, you are breastfeeding, what are you a freaking cow!?" and at the same time I don't tell people "Well why don't you try formula feeding, its much less taxing on your body...". I let people make their own decisions regarding how they choose to raise their children and how they choose to feed their children. If someone I know is formula feeding my first response isn't, "Did you at least TRY to breastfeed and found you had problems?" I just accept that was their decision.

No one questions WHY YOU choose to breastfeed, why would you question why I choose to formula feed? When a few people found out about my MG and thats why I'm not breastfeeding they ask me if I've considered donor milk. Um, sorry but thats just wrong to ME. You may like it, you may choose to use that option if you can't breastfeed but I just can't see me doing that or even liking that. My best friend is pregnant and is due a month after I am. I can't see her sitting over here feeding her child and then I tell her "Hey I'll burp your little girl, can you feed mine?" Like I said before, breastfeeding doesn't sicken me but that does. It's just not an option that I am willing to consider because I don't believe that the benefits of breastfeeding are enough to make me feel like an inadequate mother by having other mothers pool their milk, have it bagged and shipped to me. Sorry, I'll take formula over that one.

I guess the entire point of this long winded post is that as mothers we face enough challenges in this world, why do we choose to berate, belittle, and insult those of us who choose to make different decisions than you? Support each other in whatever method of feeding they choose. If its not what you have chosen or would have chosen for your child and you can't accept that, then just shut up and keep your opinions to yourself.

Scary Doctors Visit

2010-02-01T20:39:00.002-06:00

So it has been a while since I've actually blogged anything with content. My last blog was a bunch of useless rambling I think but hey, its my blog. I can write whatever I wish right?

So anyway, last Wednesday I had a prenatal check up with my OBGYN. I was going every 3 weeks but now that I've entered my 3rd trimester I have to go every two weeks. The last time I went to the doctors she was insisting that I get more rest. I explained to her that if I got any more rest that I'd be at the spa every single day. In all honesty, I work in an office sitting down most of the day. I come home and my husband has picked up around the house and even started cooking dinner. Now that its winter and my mom is here she'll call us over to invite us for dinner or tell us to swing by and pick up some food and just go home with it. I relax a lot. Mind you my job is stressful because I do work with SUB and DQ but I'm okay with that. I don't let it affect me right? At least I didn't think I let it bother me.

My doctor told me that week that she wanted me to take it easier. I agreed and began to not stress as much about work. I asked her if I had anything to be concerned about and she told me that my uterus was lower than normal for where I was in my pregnancy but nothing to worry about.

When I went last week again she stressed how much I had to take it easy. She measured me to see how far I've expanded and she told me that I was about 5cms LESS than I should be. Since I was 30 weeks I should be 30cms but I am only 25cms. Then she told me that I was going to have a small baby. I asked her again if I had anything to be concerned about and she told me no...but then she told me to go upstairs and schedule an ultra sound for two weeks and to come downstairs right away with my results. So I start to freak out. Obviously my kid isn't going to be huge. I've barely gained any weight so I wouldn't expect for Demi to be huge. Then I stopped to think about it and if the doctor, who is a high risk specialist and head of OBGYN in my hospital, was really concerned wouldn't she make me schedule the U/S right away? Why wait for two weeks?

Then she also mentioned that I wasn't going to make it to full term pregnancy. I technically have 10 weeks of pregnancy left but the doctor said that she'd be happy to keep Demi in her uterus home for the next 6 weeks. She also made me stop work effective Jan 29th but I already had that day off so the 28th was my last official day of work. I'm still working from home and training my replacement via email and telephone and I do still go in but for half days. I promised my boss I wouldn't leave him high and dry. My replacement is good but she does still need some training. She's unsure of how to do some things even though they've been clearly laid out for her in the binder...some people need to DO things and not read about them so its completely understandable!

I've been trying to stuff my face since my doctors appointment to gain weight so that Demi can gain weight but I'm not getting any more plump. I took it ultra easy at my sister's wedding. I only danced to the english portion of the music and not for the entire time either. I barely went up and down the stairs (the owners of the reception hall were nice enough to open the handicapped bathroom upstairs for Nicole and I).

I have to admit I'm really freaking out about Demi being small. I'm a planner for everything and I never planned on having a small baby. I never planned for anything to go wrong with my pregnancy, not that anything went wrong. I know I'm high risk and thats why I see a specialist. Considering that we were expecting the worst for my pregnancy with my mysathenia gravis and everything had gone so well we were never expecting to hear that Demi is small. Like, how small is small? I guess only time will tell...aka the ultra sound. It's going to tell me how big she is. According to What to Expect when Expecting she should be about 3 pounds by now. Doesn't that seem small?

So am I over reacting and stressing over nothing or did my doctor give me stuff to truly be concerned about? I'm having a mini heart attack here but I do a good job of covering it up so my hubby and parents don't see me worrying. If I worry aloud they worry too.

It's been a minute...

2010-01-24T20:24:00.002-06:00

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate that expression? Why do we use the expression "it's been a minute" to mean its been a while. Minutes and a while are really different things. Minutes are like 60 seconds each. When I think its been a while since I've eaten, obviously more than a few minutes have passed.

So on with the point, its been a while since I last blogged. I think this is my second post in 2010. WOW. Talk about being slow right? I gave my blog a bit of a facelift but I'm not sure how I feel about it. I might change it again. I saved a few really nice layouts on my hard drive for when I feel I need a change. I think the font is too small by default.

January has been a really busy month for my family. My sister's wedding is this coming Saturday and every single Saturday we've had an event. We had my sister's bridal shower on the 9th and of course that had some of its own drama....as usual. Anytime you get a lot of Greeks into a room drama is sure to ensure.

The 16th was my sister's bachelorette and Mike's bachelor party. The girls all had dinner at the casino and then we went to gamble. My sister's sister in law recommended that she play roulette and of course it didn't go so well. $120 not wisely spent. Alex, Nicole, and I (and everyone else) went down to our "Lucky Slots" where we won back everything that was lost at roulette, paid for dinner, drinks, and had some money left over. We had a good time. Besides the 3 of us I don't think anyone else did that great at the casino.

Yesterday we were meant to go to the spa all day but we decided that going on a Saturday would be too crowded and we opted for another day. We are going tomorrow. ALL DAY. First treatment is at 9am for all 3 of us. Nicole and I are going to get a pregnancy message and then a facial. We have to sign a waiver saying we won't be stupid enough to jump into the steaming hot or freezing cold baths.

I wanted to make this blog post longer but ummm... I have to watch this OT and then go to bed!!!!

Not So Happy Holidays?

2010-01-02T18:09:00.003-06:00

Hey everyone! Happy New Year! Not too shabby right? I'm blogging on Jan 2, 2010! Maybe I'll this is a sign that I will be blogging more in 2010? I guess taking mat leave in Feb will help with that. I'll be less stressed and have about 2 months before Demi gets here!

Now I'd like to start off the New Year with blogging about something positive and happy but I can't. I find myself thinking about the holidays and how low key they were and blah blah. Now I made a conscious decision to have low key holidays. I didn't want to have 800 people coming through my doors or going to visit 800 people. We wanted to take it easy because when we do our holiday parties its always huge and we don't get to enjoy them. George and I are always in the kitchen cooking something, checking on something, refilling someones beverage, making sure the bathrooms remain clean.... and it gets to be really NOT fun although everyone else enjoys their time at my house.

Now something happened during Xmas 2008 that really pissed me off. It was my first year married and I wanted to host Christmas Eve OR Christmas Day at my house. Well guess what happened? One of my cousins decided to call everyone BEFORE HALLOWEEN to invite them to her house for Christmas. Now yes, she has always hosted the holiday but thats because no one else would step up do it. I did the bigger person thing and called my cousin and said, "Hey Cousin, why don't we split the holidays? You can do either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day at your house and I'll do the day you don't want at my house." I thought it was very nice of me to put it that way and give her the choice. I even explained to her that its my first married year and I'd like to host a holiday. She was like, "Um no. I want to do both holidays because I ALWAYS do them and besides there is always so much food left over." So I said something along the line of, "Yes you always do it therefore you should SHARE the holiday and if the amount of food is an issue, just cook LESS." The bottom line is she was a stubborn bitch about it and refused to budge. She wanted to do both days at her house. Her excuse was, "You hosted Easter..." Um yeah I did do Easter because its my husbands favorite holiday and its the first holiday that came after our wedding.

So what did I do? I called my favorite aunt and explained to her the situation. I informed her that I was very well aware that my cousin called everyone to invite them to her house for Xmas Eve and Day however I was doing Xmas day at my house. I understand if they can't make it but I will be doing that. My aunt explained that she had already RSVPed to my cousin's house but she would leave early to come to my house. I did the same thing with some cousins and everyone told me the exact same thing. They would go to the cousins house because they said they would but they would go early and leave early so they could eat here. I did NOT invite the selfish cousin nor did I invite HER parents. I mean, that'd be kinda rude to tell them, "Hey I know your daughter is hosting a day at her house but why don't you come to mine instead?".

My husband and I discussed what we should do for Christmas Eve since I was only doing ONE of the two nights. We decided to be bigger people and go to that cousins house for a little bit. The only reason we went was because my sister was going to be there and Alex and I have NEVER had Xmas apart. We showed up to the cousins house with presents for the kids, a gift for the hostess, and stayed for a while (not as long as we had stayed in previous years). When we got up to leave we didn't mention the usual, "see you tomorrow" but she did ask my sister, "So will we be seeing you and Mike tomorrow" to which my sister responds, "No. My sister is doing Christmas Day and I will be there!"

Christmas Day rolls around. My hubby and I wake up early to clean the house, and start preparing our feast. When I say feast I mean a feast. We must have spent the better part of the day cooking the main meal not to mention the amount of appetizers we'd made. Everyone who came over really enjoyed it and commented on the vast difference in quality of food they were eating today compared to yesterday. It's not that my cousin cooks shitty quality food, she just isn't the best cook in the family!

My cousin didn't call me to wish me a Merry Christmas that day. I didn't really notice but of course my hubby does. He notices the strangest things!

We decided to host NYE and New Year Day at my house last year. My mom always wants to do it but she had just renovated her basement and did not want all of the cousins kids to go there and ruin it so we did it at my house. My mom paid for a lot of the dishes and even cooked a bunch of them but we just had the event at my house. My cousin didn't come. She decided her friends were more important than her family that particular day.

So now Xmas 2009 rolls around. Of course the cousin calls me to invite me over and I say, "I'm unsure of our plans. I'll have to check with my husband to see if anyone on his side is doing it since we did it last year." She said okay and to let her know. I didn't let her know but I didn't plan on going there from the get go. I had told George that I would rather stay home alone doing nothing than go there. I told him I refuse to go there for 6 years! Why six? I don't know its just a random number I came up with. In all honesty, we aren't comfortable going there. It's just that there are SOOOOO many people in such a small space that its very uncomfortable. The house gets all hot and loud. We had NYE here last year 2008/2009 and we got uncomfortable and I have 3 floors of house! My cousin has a 3 or 4 bedroom apartment. If we felt stuffy at my place imagine what you feel like there?!

My cousin told my sister that she was upset with me because I didn't call back to RSVP for Xmas. I told my sister that common sense says if one doesn't respond they aren't coming. I mean, if you don't respond to my sister's wedding shower I'm assuming you aren't coming, I don't assume you will be there.... I don't care if shes upset.

Oh, she didn't call me this Xmas or New Years in order to wish me happy holidays. Oh well, I didn't call her either. I had to call to invite her to my sisters bachelorette though. Ugh. Hated it.

Now my sister is getting married in 29 days. I discussed this with her today. Would she like to split the holidays? I realize that I will have a young child during the holiday season next year but I still want to host a holiday. My mom will go back to hosting NYE therefore its just Xmas Eve and Day that are left for us to split. She said shes interested. I told her to let me know which date she'd like and then in November of 2010 we'll call our aunts/cousins together and tell them what day they are invited to our respective homes.

What irks me is that the holidays are meant to be about family and sharing. My cousin refuses to share. It's her way or no way because she's done something for 10 years. Yes, but no one else wanted to do the holidays. Maybe they don't want to spend the money entertaining a bunch of hungry Greeks, maybe they don't want to exhaust themselves cooking and cleaning, whatever the reason may be no one but her would offer to do it. How can you be so selfish about hosting a meal at your house? My sister in law called me about 2 weeks before Xmas to ask me what I was doing. I told her I had no plans for Xmas Eve but since my mom was flying in on Xmas Day I was going to do a very small dinner. Just me, George, Alex, Mike, my father in law, and our kourbari (like bestest friends), if they'd like to come they are more than welcome. She told me that her family will come to my house after they go to HER sister's house and that we are invited to HER house on Xmas Eve since we aren't doing it. See how it works? Everyone wants to host something yet they call to find out who is doing what so that it can be shared.

Now I find myself asking this question, its a whole year later and I'm still bitter about this. Is it too long to hold a grudge? Am I blowing things out of proportion? Should I just drop this whole, "5 more years of no Xmas at cousin X's house?"

Best Buy, not Best Service!

2009-12-30T11:37:00.002-06:00

I like Best Buy, I really do. I think they have some of the greatest prices around on electronics. They finally wised up and lowered their prices to reflect what people are selling on eBay etc. They are FINALLY competitively priced. I've never liked their service though. NEVER! I had a huge issue with them about two years ago regarding honoring the warranty on a laptop. About 3 years ago I had a problem with just getting customer service. I was wandering through the television department and there was no one there to serve me. I was annoyed. While in the store I called Best Buy and complained that I was standing there and NO ONE came by to help me. Suddenly I have 6 employees on me. UGH! So annoying!

Anyway, last night my husband asked me if I minded him using the gift card my boss gave me to Best Buy on a universal remote for the basement. We already had one for the upstairs family room but George wanted one for the basement. We went to Bestbuy.ca to see how much they cost. My boss had given me a $500 gift card and the Logitech Harmony One 1100 Universal Remote was there and on sale for $379.99. I told George that he'd have to pay a little extra out of his pocket since I did use about $120 on some Wii Games on Christmas Eve. Not a problem! Usually the website lets you click a button to see if your local store has it in stock. There was a message "During Boxing Week in-store pick up and store stock availability is unavailable until January 4th. We apologize for any inconvenience. Visit a store near you". Okay. Well we weren't in the mood to go out to Best Buy only to find out that it wasn't there so we decided to give our local store a ring...and a ring....and a ring. We tried pressing 0 to speak to customer service and no answer, we listened to the automated messages to direct us to Audio/Video Accessories including remote controls. No answer.

George was at home for about 10 minutes on hold when he decided to actually get up and go to Best Buy. He went, found the remote, and came home. He was still on hold with Best Buy (he called from his cell and took his cell with him). By the time he showed me his phone the call log was up to 48 minutes and 37 seconds on hold. I decided to hang up at this point. Not only that but while George was in the department he saw the phone ringing and asked a customer service rep "are you going to get that" to which they replied, "I'm too busy!"

I get that its a very busy time of year for stores right now. Americans have Black Friday and we have Boxing Day which has slowly become Boxing Week. It's our biggest shopping days of the year. People go insane. But why not change your automated system to reflect that of the website? How about something like, "We are sorry for any inconvenience but due to the number of in store customers at this time we are unable to answer any questions over the telephone regarding products or stock availability? Please come to your local store for any questions or call back after Jan 4, 2010?"

I mean its a really crappy thing for a customer to point out that the telephone is ringing and for the employees to just shrug it off and claim they are busy. Yes, you are busy but why can you not excuse yourself from your in-store customer for 30 seconds and pick up the phone and say "Best Buy, please hold". Finish with your customer and take a minute on the phone with the phone customer before finding the next person to hawk commission from? Believe me proper customer service goes a long way and the person who called is very likely to come into the store, into your department and ask for YOU by name to serve them to give you the commission. I know that I do that when I call a store. I ask for their name and when they are working, I especially do that if I'm doing comparison shopping in stores and have just eaten half an hour of someones time. I'll ask for their card as well as when they are working next in case we decide to come back and get the item from that particular store.

Anyway I thought that was rather crappy of them and thought I'd share. I guess its true that you always complain about bad service and never really rave about excellent service!